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Post by renaissanceblonde on Jul 6, 2009 3:47:23 GMT -5
So my mum and I have moved out of Mouldsville into a place which is actually healthy to live in. On Sunday morning, around 9:30am, we're getting ready to go out for some errands when there's a heavy knocking on the door. I get it, and it's two guys in shirts, ties and pants. Yes, they're missionaries. They ask if I have some time, and I go, 'Not interested. You guys are Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons?' They say, 'Jehovah's Witnesses'. My mum adds we aren't interested, so get lost, and they leave.
I live in a cul-de-sac: outside my house, there's an entire flock of JWs. My mum pushes me out of the way to go to her bedroom window and opens it. As they start walking off, she starts bleating like a sheep. I'm pissing myself in the background and they left rather quickly. When all's said and done, Mum says 'That's what happens when you're in a flock.'
My mum is so awesome sometimes. Thought I'd share this with you guys.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Jul 6, 2009 10:14:29 GMT -5
That is fucking epic.
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Post by David D.G. on Jul 6, 2009 10:32:49 GMT -5
Hilarious! Give your mum a high-five (er, high-clovenhoof?) from me!
~David D.G.
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Post by Ian1732 on Jul 6, 2009 11:05:52 GMT -5
Now I'm thinking of a bunch of jehovah's witnesses crowding around a house like zombies. Clawing at the doors, and moaning "Join us... Join us..."
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Jul 6, 2009 15:24:06 GMT -5
Now I'm thinking of a bunch of jehovah's witnesses crowding around a house like zombies. Clawing at the doors, and moaning "Join us... Join us..." They already want your braaaaaaaains... |
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Post by secularskeptic on Jul 6, 2009 15:55:06 GMT -5
This is fantastic! I've never had a missionary knock on my door, but if I ever do I might just answer every single one of their questions with the bleat of a sheep.
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on Jul 6, 2009 16:39:46 GMT -5
Your mom is awesome.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jul 6, 2009 23:33:10 GMT -5
"If I come to your meeting will you come to my seance? Fair is fair."
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Post by wmdkitty on Jul 7, 2009 1:37:30 GMT -5
That was truly awesome!
*still giggling*
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Post by RavynousHunter on Jul 7, 2009 3:10:04 GMT -5
Eeh, I'd only bugger...err, bother the Mormons. Maybe because I saw Orgasmo...or because I just don't like Mormons. Probably both. Of course, if they're annoying pricks, they'll get the standard stern "leave...NOW." Of course, living where I do, I don't have to deal with the door-to-door types; we's far too spread out here for that to NOT be exhausting. Don't wanna get your suits wet with sweat, now do ye?
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Post by renaissanceblonde on Jul 7, 2009 17:56:46 GMT -5
Thanks for the responses, guys! I'll tell her them all. I'm sure she'll appreciate them.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Jul 7, 2009 17:59:57 GMT -5
A flock of Jehovah's Witnesses? Just fire a pistol in the air and they should disperse rather quickly. Kinda like crows.
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Post by Undecided on Jul 9, 2009 3:41:29 GMT -5
I had a friend who got a house call from a Jehovah's Witness. The first time he admitted to the Witness that he was gay, they argued, and he asked him not to return. When the Jehovah's Witness came back to solicit again, he pecked the Jehovah's Witness on the lips, and the poor guy ran away screaming, as if he were burned.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jul 9, 2009 6:42:34 GMT -5
Eeh, I'd only bugger...err, bother the Mormons. Maybe because I saw Orgasmo...or because I just don't like Mormons. Probably both. Of course, if they're annoying pricks, they'll get the standard stern "leave...NOW." Of course, living where I do, I don't have to deal with the door-to-door types; we's far too spread out here for that to NOT be exhausting. Don't wanna get your suits wet with sweat, now do ye? They actually don't have a big issue with that... Though they dispense with the jackets when it gets beyond a certain point. Biking around in triple digit temperatures is a good way to get heat stroke. |
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Post by deusmalum on Jul 9, 2009 10:58:14 GMT -5
Eeh, I'd only bugger...err, bother the Mormons. Maybe because I saw Orgasmo...or because I just don't like Mormons. Probably both. Of course, if they're annoying pricks, they'll get the standard stern "leave...NOW." Of course, living where I do, I don't have to deal with the door-to-door types; we's far too spread out here for that to NOT be exhausting. Don't wanna get your suits wet with sweat, now do ye? Or their magic underwear. *nod |
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