starbrewer
Full Member
God can go to hell
Posts: 226
|
Post by starbrewer on Jul 13, 2009 0:14:42 GMT -5
Enough about the Cult of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! Let's discuss others.
Particularly, I had in mind the Jehovah's Witnesses. If you want to talk about snakehandlers too, yeah sure fine.
DV might be able to help. She has JW connections.
I've heard that they believe that if you get to heaven, and find someone there, and you can prove that you are better than them, you can have them removed from heaven and take their place. After all, there is only room for 144,000 people in heaven!
Also, I know this from personal experience with a JW, that self furtherance, like college education, is perfectly useless. Their mind is for heaven and heaven only. Mormons at least have their own university, in Provo, Utah, named after a polygamist. If you receive the temple endowment, which includes magic underwear, education at BYU is free. JW's believe in just proselytizing everyone into their sect, so that they have a chance to be one of the lucky 144,000.
|
|
|
Post by Mira on Jul 13, 2009 0:51:14 GMT -5
I would make fun of the Amish, but they would never read it.
I find the Orthodox Jews who try and find loopholes in the Torah quite entertaining. Nothing beats coming up with complicated devices just so you can work seven days a week. I would personally just take Saturday and laze around.
|
|
|
Post by wmdkitty on Jul 13, 2009 1:22:39 GMT -5
Huh, and here I thought Saturday was for sleeping in and being a lazy fucker.
|
|
|
Post by Vene on Jul 13, 2009 2:00:49 GMT -5
Lazy fucking is not as good as active fucking.
|
|
|
Post by dasfuchs on Jul 13, 2009 2:46:25 GMT -5
I don't think you'll get much of a thread because everyone will basically say "Yeah, that's insane". the reason the mormon threads get so much attention is we have our own shitbird of the forums that takes a dump on each one to 'protect his faith' from us
|
|
starbrewer
Full Member
God can go to hell
Posts: 226
|
Post by starbrewer on Jul 13, 2009 4:34:28 GMT -5
what I've learned is from YouTube videos. I thought that dantesvirgil had family members who were Jehovah's witnesses.
They have their own version of the Bible which they think is more accurate than any other translation. They reject the triune concept of God, consider it pagan. They believe that Jesus was actually Michael, the greatest angel. There's room for everyone in paradise on earth, but only 144,000 will get into heaven proper. They don't interpret the Bible for themselves for fear that the lessers will misinterpret, and the betters who work in Brooklyn, New York, interpret scripture for everyone else.
In 1799, we entered the end times. In 1874, Jesus returned, invisibly. They predicted the rapture to happen in 1914, 1915, 1918, 1941, 1975.
|
|
|
Post by Maryland Bear on Jul 13, 2009 7:03:59 GMT -5
I would make fun of the Amish, but they would never read it. The Amish are about the most harmless fundies there are. Yeah, they have a pretty bizarre belief about technology, but they don't proselytize, they don't try to make the government impose their belief system on the rest of the nation (I think they generally don't even vote), and they're generally kind, loving people, even to people outside their community. Heck, after the Amish school shooting a few years ago, some of them went to comfort the shooter's family.If all fundies were like the Amish, this site would have little reason to exist. That doesn't mean we can't make jokes at their expense, mind you. My partner and I have discussed the possibility of gay Amish. "Prithee, Hezekiah. Wilt thou cometh by this evening after worship and.... raiseth my barn?"
|
|
|
Post by SimSim on Jul 13, 2009 7:04:03 GMT -5
I would make fun of the Amish, but they would never read it. You can't make fun of the Amish, Shoofly Pie is too good.
|
|
|
Post by Maryland Bear on Jul 13, 2009 7:06:07 GMT -5
You can't make fun of the Amish, Shoofly Pie is too good. You call it "good"; I call it "my god, how can you eat that?"
|
|
|
Post by SimSim on Jul 13, 2009 7:12:17 GMT -5
I lived within 45 minutes of Lancaster, PA most of my life, which is Amish central. So guess just got used to it.
|
|
|
Post by Maryland Bear on Jul 13, 2009 7:44:28 GMT -5
I lived within 45 minutes of Lancaster, PA most of my life, which is Amish central. So guess just got used to it. Yeah, I used to work with a man from that area, and he brought shoo-fly pie to work one day. I took one bite of it and decided that was enough for a lifetime.
|
|
|
Post by Oriet on Jul 13, 2009 8:34:00 GMT -5
I've always wondered why the Jehovah's Witnesses tried to recruit people. If there's a limit of 144,000 for (the good) heaven, why recruit more competition?
|
|
|
Post by Mantorok on Jul 13, 2009 9:22:17 GMT -5
I've always wondered why the Jehovah's Witnesses tried to recruit people. If there's a limit of 144,000 for (the good) heaven, why recruit more competition? I'd wager it's something like "Being willing to take that risk, and do Jehovah's bidding shows that you truly have faith".
|
|
|
Post by cagnazzo on Jul 13, 2009 9:44:00 GMT -5
I've always wondered why the Jehovah's Witnesses tried to recruit people. If there's a limit of 144,000 for (the good) heaven, why recruit more competition? Because if you DON'T try to get everyone in, you're not being the best you can be and can't get it.
|
|
|
Post by SimSim on Jul 13, 2009 9:47:37 GMT -5
I've always wondered why the Jehovah's Witnesses tried to recruit people. If there's a limit of 144,000 for (the good) heaven, why recruit more competition? Maybe to try to get the good heaven full of the best and brightest? So therefore they try to convert everyone they can?
|
|