starbrewer
Full Member
God can go to hell
Posts: 226
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Post by starbrewer on Mar 13, 2009 5:35:52 GMT -5
Apply Pascal's Wager in favor of other gods over Christianity.
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Post by mistermuncher on Mar 13, 2009 5:45:28 GMT -5
"And they always start with "we'd love to tell you about a wonderful man named Jesus"."
To which the only sane reply is "Jesus Jones? I bought all his albums, and they were shite".
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Post by Vypernight on Mar 13, 2009 5:50:35 GMT -5
We get so many JWs around our place it isn't funny ... and always at fucking 7.30 am on Saturdays. And they always start with "we'd love to tell you about a wonderful man named Jesus". One time we even got an invite to a praise and worship meeting where they wanted you to come dressed as your favourite bible character. And then after praise and worship they would have a bible play. I didn't know the JWs did that, but hey... go dressed as Satan. When they ask why you dressed as him, say, "Actually, I just got off work. I didn't have time to dress up." The Grim Reaper would be fun too, but he didn't actually appear in the Bible, right? Take care, Jay
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Post by Bojangles on Mar 13, 2009 5:56:58 GMT -5
We get so many JWs around our place it isn't funny ... and always at fucking 7.30 am on Saturdays. And they always start with "we'd love to tell you about a wonderful man named Jesus". One time we even got an invite to a praise and worship meeting where they wanted you to come dressed as your favourite bible character. And then after praise and worship they would have a bible play. I didn't know the JWs did that, but hey... go dressed as Satan. When they ask why you dressed as him, say, "Actually, I just got off work. I didn't have time to dress up." The Grim Reaper would be fun too, but he didn't actually appear in the Bible, right? Take care, Jay My fiance did think about going as Satan for a while and I would go as the great sea whore of revelations but the idea of actually attending a JW meeting and watching a bible play was just too much for us. So we drank, watched a few horror movies and probably had sex instead.
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Post by Vypernight on Mar 13, 2009 6:06:57 GMT -5
That sounds like a more-fulfilling night to me, though we'd probably substitute drinking for watching hockey or playing video games against each other. The rest is pretty much the same, though not in any particular order.
Take care,
Jay
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Mar 13, 2009 6:30:52 GMT -5
The Grim Reaper would be fun too, but he didn't actually appear in the Bible, right? Actually, he did. "And I looked, and beheld a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him." -- Revelation 6:8
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tabun
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by tabun on Mar 13, 2009 7:50:33 GMT -5
Apply Pascal's Wager in favor of other gods over Christianity. You know, that never occurred to me... Not a bad idea actually...
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Post by Aqualung on Mar 13, 2009 9:09:17 GMT -5
I wonder what they'd do if you answered the door or showed up dressed as a pirate? I happen to know there were even pirates in ancient Egypt times. ;D
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Cymraes
Junior Member
Dim marciau ffordd!
Posts: 63
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Post by Cymraes on Mar 13, 2009 10:05:17 GMT -5
My dad always keeps his blood doner and organ doner card in the window by the front door. That always seems to put the JWs off in his area. I tried it, but it doesn't seem to work round here.
At first, in one parish, the large sign "Vicarage" on our front door appeared to deter them, but that doesn't work either. My husband kept inviting them in for a chat. He kept routing the conversation round to the opening words of John's gospel in the original greek, and then pointing out how their "New World Translation" of the Bible is wrong. All that seemed to happen, though, was that more and more of them turned up - each more determined than the last upon conversion.
Now we just tell them that we will accept their tracts on condition they will accept ours. Apparently they are not permitted to accept any literature from any other faith/religion. Their refusal marks the end of the encounter.
Why not keep a pile of "religious" literature by the front door? It wouldn't have to be christian. It could be anything really - FSM, Cannibals for Christ, BDSM ...
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Post by JonathanE on Mar 13, 2009 19:07:12 GMT -5
Spark up a big fatty at the door and offer them a hit. They won't be back. They might call the cops, but in Canada, they'd be on my side...
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Post by Sandafluffoid on Mar 14, 2009 8:05:02 GMT -5
I've enver had a JW before, but if I ever do, I plan to politely see them off, then run upstaris after they've gone adn lean out of my window waving an important looking book and shouting "[Insert random diety here] hates you!"
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Post by Bojangles on Mar 14, 2009 11:00:47 GMT -5
I've enver had a JW before, but if I ever do, I plan to politely see them off, then run upstaris after they've gone adn lean out of my window waving an important looking book and shouting "[Insert random diety here] hates you!" You're very lucky. My fiance was the same until we moved in together. Having never really been exposed to door-to-door religion he thought that these people knocking on our door early in the morning was amusing and thought that he could reason with them. This is part of the reason we have so many of them. So the rule is now that I deal with them when they show up.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 14, 2009 15:44:41 GMT -5
I live kind of out in the boonies (the neighbourhood used to be in a pretty rural area and was MILES from anything until quite recently), so for the most part the JWs don't come around here because it's a bit of a schlep. The ones that DO find their way to my neighbourhood are the REALLY determined ones that will not go away until they've converted you to their religion or you've run them through with a letter-opener. They've come all this away, after all, so they might as well get SOMETHING out of the deal!
The last time one of 'em turned up, I picked my dog up under one arm and my brother's dagger with the Anubis head on the hilt with the other hand, and when I answered the door I said, "Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something!"
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Post by Sandafluffoid on Mar 14, 2009 16:01:40 GMT -5
I live kind of out in the boonies (the neighbourhood used to be in a pretty rural area and was MILES from anything until quite recently), so for the most part the JWs don't come around here because it's a bit of a schlep. The ones that DO find their way to my neighbourhood are the REALLY determined ones that will not go away until they've converted you to their religion or you've run them through with a letter-opener. They've come all this away, after all, so they might as well get SOMETHING out of the deal! The last time one of 'em turned up, I picked my dog up under one arm and my brother's dagger with the Anubis head on the hilt with the other hand, and when I answered the door I said, "Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something!" Heehee, it could only have been better if they could have seen a couple of naked goths over our shoulder. That's at least got to come second place for best JW chasing ever
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 14, 2009 16:20:34 GMT -5
This was about four years ago. I think the two JWs are still in therapy.
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