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Post by Sandafluffoid on Aug 31, 2009 15:31:21 GMT -5
I plan on ruining my own funeral by hiring a troupe of clowns before my death. I will have them do a thousand unpleasant things to the guests, it'll culminate with them surrounding the guests and playing malicious bagpipe tunes at them whilst advancing in a circle. After my funeral, I want my corpse stored in a tank of formaldehyde in wardrobe of the master bedroom of a house which I will insist is rented out to people without mentioning the corpse in the wardrobe.
Failing that I want a pressure plate set up that will fire parts of my corpse out of my grave at anyone who gets too close.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Aug 31, 2009 22:38:03 GMT -5
I also want a team of critics of differant faiths to write a review of my funeral.
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Post by Thejebusfire on Aug 31, 2009 22:52:38 GMT -5
I never really thought about that. When my friend was buried, there was a grave in the same cemetary shaped like a tree stump. I thought it was pretty cool.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Aug 31, 2009 23:10:39 GMT -5
I remember an awesome epitaph from The Pocketbook of Death. It was hilarious. Lemme see...
"John Free your body and soul Unfold your powerful wings Climb up the highest mountains Kick your feet up in the air You may now live forever Or return to this earth Unless you feel good where you are! ---Missed by your friends"
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Post by Hades on Aug 31, 2009 23:13:02 GMT -5
I plan on ruining my own funeral by hiring a troupe of clowns before my death. I will have them do a thousand unpleasant things to the guests, it'll culminate with them surrounding the guests and playing malicious bagpipe tunes at them whilst advancing in a circle. After my funeral, I want my corpse stored in a tank of formaldehyde in wardrobe of the master bedroom of a house which I will insist is rented out to people without mentioning the corpse in the wardrobe. Failing that I want a pressure plate set up that will fire parts of my corpse out of my grave at anyone who gets too close. I'd buy a ticket for that.
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Post by DrKilljoy on Aug 31, 2009 23:14:31 GMT -5
My dad's a former aviator. I'm thinking of carving "Old pilots never die--they just go to a new plane" on his. I will be cremated. My urn will say "Kiss My Ash." Interesting twist on the "Old soldiers never die" saying. Maybe you should ask your dad what he'd think about it.
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Post by renaissanceblonde on Sept 1, 2009 2:25:06 GMT -5
"Joy to the world, Renaissance Blonde is dead."
"Bad things happen outdoors."
"I fought the law and the law won." (Not bloody likely, but still funny).
"No more assburgers, no more sooks, no more normals' dirty looks."
"I botched my dice roll."
"Permanently sleeping in."
"See You Tomb Horror." (Ripped off from some kid's story).
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Sept 1, 2009 2:27:47 GMT -5
"Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up with no where to go" It's a dead man's party! Who could ask for more?
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Post by Mira on Sept 1, 2009 2:32:13 GMT -5
Uhh I'd like "Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up with no where to go" written on my gravestone If you don't mind, I'm stealing that one. I am terribly uncreative.
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Post by Bezron on Sept 1, 2009 9:08:09 GMT -5
I would like to have a pair of shotgun shells in a windowed box set into my marker, with the caption "In case of zombie outbreak, break glass"
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Post by Tiger on Sept 1, 2009 9:55:16 GMT -5
I'm bookmarking this thread on the off chance I decide to have a semi-traditional funeral.
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Post by spaniel on Sept 1, 2009 10:08:44 GMT -5
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Post by DrKilljoy on Sept 1, 2009 12:42:52 GMT -5
On an additional note, I would like this to be played at my funeral.
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Sept 1, 2009 14:29:59 GMT -5
"Permanently sleeping in." As someone who's given to sleeping until 3 in the afternoon on an off day, I absolutely love this one. After all, it's just like a nap- just a lot longer with less dreams. Hell, even Jesus allegedly said death is just a sleep. I plan on ruining my own funeral by hiring a troupe of clowns before my death. I will have them do a thousand unpleasant things to the guests, it'll culminate with them surrounding the guests and playing malicious bagpipe tunes at them whilst advancing in a circle. After my funeral, I want my corpse stored in a tank of formaldehyde in wardrobe of the master bedroom of a house which I will insist is rented out to people without mentioning the corpse in the wardrobe. Failing that I want a pressure plate set up that will fire parts of my corpse out of my grave at anyone who gets too close. "I got a humerus!" "I got a fibula!" "Holy crap, I got his balls!"
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Post by The_L on Sept 1, 2009 18:36:16 GMT -5
"I botched my dice roll." Somewhere, Gary Gygax is looking down and smiling. Here's an actual Alabama epitaph for you: "Under this stone, My wife doth lie; She is at rest, And so am I."
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