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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Nov 1, 2009 2:49:56 GMT -5
In an attempt to get back at Lithp for being a douchebag I've decided to post a poorly written, quite graphic and if it turns your crank oddly arousing story I wrote last week or so.
Zach had a handful of sand. He loved smearing his vagina with it. He'd put the sand in his hand and smeared it in and around his vagina. He squishes it around as the natural juices flow about turning it into mud. Zach removes his mud covered fingers licking them and returns them to the mud pie his vagina has become. He slides his fingers around inside the gross, slimy slit, mud squishing around inside moaning in ecstasy while deep down he knows he's going to have a yeast infection. Zach climaxes shooting out mud all over the floor as he screams with each squirt. He continues prodding it with his fingers, it hurts, but it feels so good he can't stop. He falls asleep covered in sweat as mud dries in and around himself. He wakes up the next day the dried mud cracking and chipping away as he walks to the bathroom to have a shower. First Zach had to take a leak and he did so chunks of mud falling out loosened by the urine. Zach turns the water on and walks into the stall closing the door behind him. He removes the shower head from the wall and begins hosing himself down starting with the dirty, dried up chasm between his legs. As the mud rehydrates it slides down his leg to the drain where it will soon clog. He hoses off his vagina, sliding a finger inside digging out chunks of mud when much to his horror more than mud is dripping out. He begins bleeding. He quickly gets out of the shower drying off and dressing and heads out the door to the nearest medical clinic where he'll have to go through the embarrassment of explaining to a doctor as to why his vagina is bleeding unnaturally.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Nov 1, 2009 3:08:44 GMT -5
This is even more badly written than when you originally made it.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Nov 1, 2009 3:24:29 GMT -5
I guess this qualifies as "so horribly bad it's mildly amusing".
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Nov 1, 2009 3:26:28 GMT -5
I said it was bad didn't I?
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Post by Hades on Nov 1, 2009 3:28:35 GMT -5
I laughed so hard. The only reason I laughed is because this is exactly something an old friend of mine would do.
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Nov 1, 2009 3:29:16 GMT -5
This friend sounds like a pretty cool guy.
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Post by Mira on Nov 1, 2009 3:31:35 GMT -5
Harley, I'm in lust with you.
I demand the next chapter.
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Nov 1, 2009 3:35:08 GMT -5
Didn't think it'd become something like this, but as it's you I'll conjure up a second chapter.
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Post by Hades on Nov 1, 2009 9:15:54 GMT -5
This friend sounds like a pretty cool guy. He really is. I miss the hell out of him.
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Mar 12, 2011 18:49:28 GMT -5
It seems I did promise a second chapter. Good thing I never claimed to be a man of my word to the fine people here.
Zach Visits the Gynecologist
He sat in the waiting room flipping through the pages of an old Teen Cosmo. Why would a thirteen year old girl needs to look sexy for Halloween puzzled him, but he was sure the lady who answered the phone when he made the appointment for the gynecologist was more puzzled.
He has lost track of time. How long had he been waiting? Ten minutes? Fifteen minutes? He looked at the clock on the wall.
"Three and a half minutes," he said outloud to himself much to the confusion of the women in the waiting room.
The magazine disturbed him. Even though it was a Cosmopolitan directed towards teenage girls, it was almost like a regular Cosmopolitan. He thought back to two days ago when he ran out the door to the nearest medical clinic, but wussed out so he went back home. After the itching and burning became too much for him he made the appointment with the gynecologist.
"Zach Bower," the secretary called.
He put the magazine down and glanced around the room. There had to be between four and a dozen women all glaring at him like he was some kind of monster.
"Just have a seat in here, the doctor will be with you shortly," the secretary said putting a folder on the doctors desk before leaving and shutting the door behind her.
He was nervous. His hands made all kinds of squishing noises, his palms were so sweaty.
"How am I going to explain this?" he said outloud to himself.
That was probably another thing he should see a professional about. It's not right to be talking to yourself in public.
The door opened.
"Good afternoon, I'm do- What the hell?" the doctor stared at Zach like he had two heads when in fact he only had one. The one on his shoulders.
"You know I'm a gynecologist, right?" the doctor asked shutting the door behind himself and picking up the folder, opening it. "Oh, never mind, I see why you're here. You have a rare disorder called..." the doctor trailed off and began coughing to cover up that he couldn't pronounce the name of the disorder.
"Yeah, but that's not why I'm here, doctor...?"
"Benway. Doctor Benway," he said extending a hand to Zach.
After all the formalities were out of the way, Doctor Benway say in his coushy leather chain while Zach sat in one of those crappy plastic orange chairs and began to explain why he was there.
"Wow. As a gynecologist I have seen and heard a lot of disturbing things in the four months I've been working as one, but this... This should get some kind of award," Doctor Benway said sounding more impressed than he should be.
"What do you suggest I do," Zach asked trying to cover the panic in his voice.
"You have to get it flushed out. I don't mean douche it or anything, those have been known to do more harm than good. I would suggest a garden hose, but that would probably be grounds for a malpractise suit, so instead I'll pencil you in for another appointment. How does tomorrow at two sound?"
"I suppose that would work," Zach said sounding a little at ease.
"Wonderful. Until then just soak in the tub try not to do anything else to it. Also for future references..." Doctor Benway took his wallet from his back pocket and removed a small card handing it to Zach, "Try this place if you really have to stimulate yourself."
Zach looked at the card with a facial expression that showed both fear and disturb. The gynecologist gave him the business card for a sex toys shop. One that was disturbingly enough right across the street.
"Uhh... Thanks, Doctor Benway."
"No thanks required, just doing my job," Doctor Benway said as Zach hurried out of the office.
Zach left the gynecologists office and stared across the street towards the Android's Dungeon, sex toys and comic book collectibles. Finding that more disturbing than anything the doctor could have said or done, he went to the nearest grocery store.
"That urban legend about the hotdog breaking off inside the girl, wasn't proven to be true right?" he asked himself outloud much to the horror of the four people around him.
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Post by Sleepy on Mar 12, 2011 19:26:43 GMT -5
Oh Harley, you are the best.
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Post by dakotabob on Mar 12, 2011 19:31:50 GMT -5
what the fuck am i reading
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Mar 12, 2011 19:43:08 GMT -5
What started out as me and Lithp trying to gross each other out escalated into me writing the story at the top of the page.
And since I apparently did promise a sequel, here it is. I feel I like it more than the first part. It gives the reader a look into what kind of person Zach is.
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Post by kmc on Mar 12, 2011 21:06:40 GMT -5
Wow.
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Post by Iczer-Four on Mar 12, 2011 22:43:50 GMT -5
your story intrigues me please write more
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