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Post by tgrwulf on May 6, 2010 11:31:12 GMT -5
I just had my first experience with door-to-door Jehova's Witnesses about 20 minutes ago. I was getting ready for work and I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly slid on a pair of pants and went to go answer the door. I opened it up to see a fairly heavy-set woman with reddish-brown hair and a very petite Asian woman. I almost immediately noticed a bible in their hands and though "Goddamit, why of all times right now?" I stayed polite because I wanted to get rid of them and just tossed the pamphlet when they left. If I had more time I definitely would of used my imagination a little more and gotten them all riled up, lol.
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Post by The_L on May 6, 2010 14:57:21 GMT -5
I've got my JW responses ready, just in case.
For example:
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?"
"No. Have you accepted Cthulhu as your Evil Old One and personal Destroyer?"
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swordfish
Full Member
Always the Password
Posts: 123
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Post by swordfish on May 6, 2010 17:11:03 GMT -5
Your first mistake was putting pants on.
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Post by Dr. Waldorf X on May 6, 2010 18:30:12 GMT -5
Your first mistake was putting pants on. And your second was not having a sword in the umbrella holder.
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Post by Tiberius on May 6, 2010 21:53:09 GMT -5
Your first mistake was putting pants on. And your second was not having a sword in the umbrella holder. Your third; not having laser eyes.
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letipex
Full Member
The true ouroboros
Posts: 197
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Post by letipex on May 7, 2010 3:00:28 GMT -5
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?" "No. Have you accepted Cthulhu as your Evil Old One and personal Destroyer?" YES! I am so using that one from now on. ^^ Many, many thanks. And cookies.
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Post by m52nickerson on May 7, 2010 6:55:03 GMT -5
My first was as a little kid. The JW came my door and my Father answered. He was very nice to them, invited them in and sat them at the kitchen table. Right before they started there pitch my dad said "I will listen to you talk about your faith, but first you have to listen to me talk about mine." He started very quickly to tell them about his childhood. The JW's quickly excused themselves and left.
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Post by rookie on May 7, 2010 7:35:07 GMT -5
Right before they started there pitch my dad said "I will listen to you talk about your faith, but first you have to listen to me talk about mine." Oh, I like that. That is beautiful.
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on May 7, 2010 8:17:39 GMT -5
Your first mistake was putting pants on. On that note, my first experience with door to door preachers had me in my pajamas. I don't wear a shirt when I sleep, just pants. The preachers were 2 junior high girls.
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Post by The_L on May 7, 2010 8:46:32 GMT -5
I sleep in my panties. I eagerly await the day I am awakened by JW's, because it will give me an excuse to allow my bathrobe to slip and scar them for life.
....man, I'm just plain evil today.
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Post by Bezron on May 7, 2010 10:42:44 GMT -5
I sleep in my panties. I eagerly await the day I am awakened by JW's, because it will give me an excuse to allow my bathrobe to slip and scar them for life. ....man, I'm just plain evil today. *puts on JW disguise and prepares to go a-knockin*
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Post by FMG on May 7, 2010 10:52:46 GMT -5
Really? JWs are easy to rile up. Tell me what's the beef with having blood and organ transplants. Why would you be against that? Logically speaking.
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Post by ironbite on May 7, 2010 13:32:36 GMT -5
Your first mistake was putting pants on. On that note, my first experience with door to door preachers had me in my pajamas. I don't wear a shirt when I sleep, just pants. The preachers were 2 junior high girls. .................and sexy times were had with junior high school armand?
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Post by tgrwulf on May 7, 2010 17:06:09 GMT -5
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?" "No. Have you accepted Cthulhu as your Evil Old One and personal Destroyer?" YES! I am so using that one from now on. ^^ Many, many thanks. And cookies. I actually might try that if they come back, lol.
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on May 8, 2010 5:12:20 GMT -5
Jehovah's Witnesses keep leaving copies of 'Watchtower' and "Awake!' in my mailbox, even though I already told them that I wasn't interested. I would mess with them, but the lady who leaves them is this sweet elderly woman who I can't bring myself to say anything mean to; I had the same problem with Mormon missionaries a while back, since they were too friendly to mess with without feeling like an asshole.
If I ever find anything funny in the magazines, I'll be sure to scan & upload it, although it's mostly just rhetoric, vague doomsday predictions and paintings of families sitting under trees with lions and elephants.
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