Post by Iosa the Invincible on Nov 18, 2011 18:55:39 GMT -5
First, I apologize for coming off as callous in my earlier post. I wrote that at 4:30 a.m. when I was getting ready to sleep and got pissed off, and I just really wanted to vent. The comment I was referring to was this one:
It's not really the comment itself that set me off (as I will admit that it is tamer than I implied), it's the archetype this woman (if she is indeed genuine) represents: The woman (or man who knows a woman) who had an abortion and became depressed and regretful and now crusades to take the choice away from others because they had a bad experience. They show up in pretty much every abortion discussion or video, and their experience is sometimes the only "evidence" they have that abortion is bad. For some people, this sets the mindset of "I did this and I feel horrible, so this must be horrible, and anyone who doesn't feel horrible for doing it are just cruel and heartless." They sometimes also come off as opposing abortion not because they want to save fetuses or save women from heartache, but really because they just want to save themselves from their own guilt because they can't move on from a bad decision they made in the past.
And JesterKatz, you were sort of correct about her using religion:
Sangster,
I pray your wife has healed from the deep wound of abortion. And let me re-iterate, it is a very deep wound,and requires the skill of a Master Surgeon like Jesus. We have an online post-abortion bible study, that is completely confidential, she doesn't have to give her real name if she doesn't want to. It is free of charge, and she will have her very own PA counselor in the Lord who has been also healed by the Great Healer Jesus. See my channel or healinghearts Psalms 130
And no, I'm not saying people who have bad experiences are wrong to take comfort in their religion. If that works for you, than great. However, she's implying that it's the only way to move on, and for some reason, I see this support group (and others like it) going "it's good that you feel bad about what you did because it was wrong and horrible" rather than "you made a decision that wasn't right for you, you regret it, and now we're going to focus on ways for you to accept what happened and move on with your life." And then that gets me wondering if some "support" groups encourage regretful and vulnerable women to actively oppose abortion as a form of "therapy" and imply that it's the only way they can be "redeemed" for their mistake. Yeah, I think I might be stretching it, but I have the horrible ability of jumping to the worst conclusion in a single bound.
And yeah, I know for some people actively confronting the focus of their regret helps, but for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that that's not the purpose in this case. I keep getting the feeling actively opposing abortion anywhere would do the exact opposite for these women, since instead of moving on, they've made it a focal point, preventing them from ever forgiving themselves for what they did, or rather, making active participation in the pro-life movement the only way they can live with themselves. And I'm sure there are some women (and I get this vibe from this commentator) that believe that these women shouldn't forget and move on and shouldn't be forgiven, which doesn't seem very healthy to me. Again, this is probably just me jumping to the worst conclusions. I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
But yeah, this was pretty much my thought process when I made my first post. If I think that a woman genuinely regrets her abortion and is having trouble living with it (like Sangster's wife), then that is sad and the woman needs sympathy, especially if she's making an effort to actually move past it and seek help with her problem. However, when I see women like this commentator who use their experience to fish for sympathy and promote a position while blaming someone else (Planned Parenthood) for their own decision, use propaganda to bash other propaganda, and make unsympathetic and ignorant comments (the whole "babies eat less than adults" argument), I tend to lose whatever sympathy I had before.
That's why I used the phrase "sobbing regretful woman who had an abortion and now thinks about the child she killed everyday." Because that's literally how I picture them as they give their "testimony" in favor of the pro-life movement, in order to gain as many supporters and sympathizers as possible. Because many of them say pretty much the same thing. They don't come off as women who need help and sympathy. They come off as tools who's purpose is to be used by the pro-life movement.
tl;dr: It's not regretful women that piss me off; it's the "regretful woman" archetype and all of the implications that it encourages being used repeatedly that pisses me off.
If I end up saying something similar to what someone else says, I apologize. It took me over three hours to type this.
As a woman who had an abortion, I would have loved for someone to have shown me this before. Planned parent'HOOD tells you nothing but lies and deception. Not one day goes by that I dont think about my child and what could have been.
Its a regret no one should ever have to live with.
Thank You for this powerful video. The Life of America depend on it.
Truth sets people Free!
Its a regret no one should ever have to live with.
Thank You for this powerful video. The Life of America depend on it.
Truth sets people Free!
It's not really the comment itself that set me off (as I will admit that it is tamer than I implied), it's the archetype this woman (if she is indeed genuine) represents: The woman (or man who knows a woman) who had an abortion and became depressed and regretful and now crusades to take the choice away from others because they had a bad experience. They show up in pretty much every abortion discussion or video, and their experience is sometimes the only "evidence" they have that abortion is bad. For some people, this sets the mindset of "I did this and I feel horrible, so this must be horrible, and anyone who doesn't feel horrible for doing it are just cruel and heartless." They sometimes also come off as opposing abortion not because they want to save fetuses or save women from heartache, but really because they just want to save themselves from their own guilt because they can't move on from a bad decision they made in the past.
And JesterKatz, you were sort of correct about her using religion:
My wife had one many years ago, and she feels the same way you do now.
Sangster,
I pray your wife has healed from the deep wound of abortion. And let me re-iterate, it is a very deep wound,and requires the skill of a Master Surgeon like Jesus. We have an online post-abortion bible study, that is completely confidential, she doesn't have to give her real name if she doesn't want to. It is free of charge, and she will have her very own PA counselor in the Lord who has been also healed by the Great Healer Jesus. See my channel or healinghearts Psalms 130
And no, I'm not saying people who have bad experiences are wrong to take comfort in their religion. If that works for you, than great. However, she's implying that it's the only way to move on, and for some reason, I see this support group (and others like it) going "it's good that you feel bad about what you did because it was wrong and horrible" rather than "you made a decision that wasn't right for you, you regret it, and now we're going to focus on ways for you to accept what happened and move on with your life." And then that gets me wondering if some "support" groups encourage regretful and vulnerable women to actively oppose abortion as a form of "therapy" and imply that it's the only way they can be "redeemed" for their mistake. Yeah, I think I might be stretching it, but I have the horrible ability of jumping to the worst conclusion in a single bound.
And yeah, I know for some people actively confronting the focus of their regret helps, but for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that that's not the purpose in this case. I keep getting the feeling actively opposing abortion anywhere would do the exact opposite for these women, since instead of moving on, they've made it a focal point, preventing them from ever forgiving themselves for what they did, or rather, making active participation in the pro-life movement the only way they can live with themselves. And I'm sure there are some women (and I get this vibe from this commentator) that believe that these women shouldn't forget and move on and shouldn't be forgiven, which doesn't seem very healthy to me. Again, this is probably just me jumping to the worst conclusions. I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.
But yeah, this was pretty much my thought process when I made my first post. If I think that a woman genuinely regrets her abortion and is having trouble living with it (like Sangster's wife), then that is sad and the woman needs sympathy, especially if she's making an effort to actually move past it and seek help with her problem. However, when I see women like this commentator who use their experience to fish for sympathy and promote a position while blaming someone else (Planned Parenthood) for their own decision, use propaganda to bash other propaganda, and make unsympathetic and ignorant comments (the whole "babies eat less than adults" argument), I tend to lose whatever sympathy I had before.
That's why I used the phrase "sobbing regretful woman who had an abortion and now thinks about the child she killed everyday." Because that's literally how I picture them as they give their "testimony" in favor of the pro-life movement, in order to gain as many supporters and sympathizers as possible. Because many of them say pretty much the same thing. They don't come off as women who need help and sympathy. They come off as tools who's purpose is to be used by the pro-life movement.
tl;dr: It's not regretful women that piss me off; it's the "regretful woman" archetype and all of the implications that it encourages being used repeatedly that pisses me off.
If I end up saying something similar to what someone else says, I apologize. It took me over three hours to type this.