I tell you this world is going downhill fast, look at these kids today, caves aren't good enough for them, nope they want one of those fancy mud huts. And these crazies that want to plant things for food, I guess going out and stalking their food is too much work for them, lazy thats what they are. Why back when I was a lad we would stalk a mammoth for three days with no food or water and with only rocks to throw at it. Now look at them with their fancy flint tipped spears, they really believe that is better, can you imagine?
These kids today just don't know how hard we worked to raise them and feed them and then instead of thanks all we get is whining. Why my father fought in the Neanderthal war just so these kids could have a future, imagine if we hadn't stood up to those grunting barbarians. But do they pay any attention to the past, no, they don't want to hear about the old days or do things in the old ways. Instead of studying the lessons of the past all they want to do is dream about some silly pie in the sky future. All they talk about is progress and how their newfangled ideas are so much better, lunacy thats what it is.
Don't even get me started on what they call music nowadays, back in my day we knew how to make music, the real way, by clacking rocks together. Now they have these skins stretched over hoops and beat on those with sticks. It makes the most horrible noises I've ever heard, this sort of 'boom' instead of a good honest 'clack'. One of them kids at the last moon dance said they called them drums, where they got that stupid idea from I'll never know.
Speaking of the moon dance you should have seen those kids doing what they call 'dancing'. We knew how to do a proper ceremonial dance in my time, it was all about shuffling, why if your foot ever left the ground the elders would throw rocks at you. I guess shuffling must be too good for these kids though because they were actually hopping between shuffles, hopping, can you believe that? They looked like a pack of monkeys out there 'dancing' around the fire between the hopping and them waving those fancy new spears around. What kind of dancing is that? It certainly isn't how I was taught as a boy.
And the fire, I wouldn't have even gone if they had told me about how they made the fire. Ever since man was created by the runny defecations of the Sky Lord, fire has been his gift to us. It comes from his his flaming bolts of ejactulate that sometimes strike the ground or a tree. Always we have collected his holy seed and nourished and protected it so that we might have it's flaming warmth when needed. The priests have always tended the holy fire and if it was lost they have quested for more. I'm still not sure I believe this but I have been told that the fire at the moon dance was started by striking two rocks together. It is just hard to imagine a greater blasphemy and if I find out which one of them did it I'll report him to the chief and demand he be stoned.
I talked to my nephew just yesterday about it and he says all the kids have these stones now, he says it isn't wrong to make fire if you need it to cook or because your cold. I just don't understand what is wrong with these kids to not be able to see that the Sky Lord alone gives us fire and to able to make it yourself has to be the work of bad spirits. If they keep up this sacrilege the Sky Lord might take fire away from us forever, then we will freeze when the snow time comes. And another thing, when they....
DAGNABBIT, HEY YOU KIDS GET OFF MY GRASS!!!
