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Post by chad sexington on Mar 10, 2009 0:24:42 GMT -5
I thought we had one of these on the old board, but apparently not. Anyway, here's a thread for those overheard conversations you just have to share...
I'll start.
A couple of weeks ago, I was somewhere - a shopping centre or something - and there were these two women chatting, kids in tow. Anyway, one of the kids is playing hide-and-seek, hiding behind mummy's legs, and suddenly he stops and jams his head right into mummy's crotch. It's like he's trying to get back in there. Anyway, he pulls out after a minute and loudly announces, "Mummy, your bum smells funny!" before diving back in there...
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Post by Jebediah on Mar 10, 2009 0:32:11 GMT -5
I was sitting on the bus on the way home from class the other day ago. These two girls were talking, quite loudly, and the one (we'll call her Beth) was telling the other about what happened in her bio class.
In bio class, Beth was telling a different friend about how she had sex with some guy at a party, and she had no idea who he was. All she can remember is a tattoo he had on his right arm of a pin-up. Well it turns out the bio class friend also has sex with some guy, the same night as Beth did, and she couldn’t remember anything about him either. Except the pin-up tattoo on his right arm.
And Beth dramatically ends the story by telling her friend about how half the bio class was staring at her and had overheard the entire story.
And of course by now, the entire bus is staring at her, and we all overheard the story.
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Post by skyfire on Mar 10, 2009 10:35:42 GMT -5
I was sitting on the bus on the way home from class the other day ago. These two girls were talking, quite loudly, and the one (we'll call her Beth) was telling the other about what happened in her bio class. In bio class, Beth was telling a different friend about how she had sex with some guy at a party, and she had no idea who he was. All she can remember is a tattoo he had on his right arm of a pin-up. Well it turns out the bio class friend also has sex with some guy, the same night as Beth did, and she couldn’t remember anything about him either. Except the pin-up tattoo on his right arm. And Beth dramatically ends the story by telling her friend about how half the bio class was staring at her and had overheard the entire story. And of course by now, the entire bus is staring at her, and we all overheard the story. Back in 10th grade English there were a few kids who would congregate around this one guy's desk whenever there was any free time in class and start telling crude and sometimes lewd stories. This included one girl who not only talked about having sex with a guy at a party but also her attempts to locate clean underwear afterwords. Another guy dared the first guy to do some prank or other, offering to have a German Shepherd lick his balls as a reward. What's really sad is that this was a pre-AP English class, meaning that we were all supposed to have been among the best and brightest of the campus.
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Post by Distind on Mar 10, 2009 11:43:09 GMT -5
Back in 10th grade English there were a few kids who would congregate around this one guy's desk whenever there was any free time in class and start telling crude and sometimes lewd stories. This included one girl who not only talked about having sex with a guy at a party but also her attempts to locate clean underwear afterwords. Another guy dared the first guy to do some prank or other, offering to have a German Shepherd lick his balls as a reward. What's really sad is that this was a pre-AP English class, meaning that we were all supposed to have been among the best and brightest of the campus. Best and brightest are also often the most twisted and disturbed, in one way or another. I'll have to think about a few of the stories I heard sitting in the SE lab. Though I can tell you that the odds are pretty good that any table in any computer lab has been used for sex at some point. Occasionally including computer peripherals.
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Post by caretaker on Mar 10, 2009 14:06:56 GMT -5
I used to go to college in a really, really Loyalist area - getting the bus to and fro was a minor act of daily bravery. Anyway, us Catholics (and by that I mean those of us raised Catholic) would form a tight group and sit at the back of the bus together, with our Protestant classmates (again, raised) forming a sort of buffer zone, just in case. Well, one day I was sitting with Marty and Sazz in our buffer zone, and two local men shoved their way past our security and sat in front of us. Only an idiot would complain.
Man #1: *Grunt* Students. Man #2: Wonder how many of them are taigs. Man #1: Let's find out. Here, blondie [me] - how many fenians are in your class? Me: I-I don't know. *Being firmly gripped by friends on either side, for support* Th- I- dunno.
They turned back and resumed their conversation.
Man #1: Isn't that supposed to be the place the wannabe actors study? Man #2: Yeah. Man #1: Hope they're not all as shit at it as her.
We got off the bus early >>;
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Post by A. Sapien on Mar 10, 2009 17:58:10 GMT -5
What's really sad is that this was a pre-AP English class, meaning that we were all supposed to have been among the best and brightest of the campus. And? My entire class in college used to have the most disturbing and perverted conversations, including one about using a watermelon as a dildo (I will never forget that conversation as long as I live), and quite a few of us went on to hold very good jobs. Some of us even graduated top of the class. I'm sorry the real world offends your Mormon sensibilities.
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Post by Old Viking on Mar 10, 2009 18:09:13 GMT -5
Overheard:
That's inhumanly possible.
He was a human domino.
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Post by canadian mojo on Mar 10, 2009 18:18:17 GMT -5
Best and brightest are also often the most twisted and disturbed, in one way or another. I'll have to think about a few of the stories I heard sitting in the SE lab. Though I can tell you that the odds are pretty good that any table in any computer lab has been used for sex at some point. Occasionally including computer peripherals. Ewwww! Nerd sex! The mental image, it burns! ;D Okay, got that out of my system, now I can actually contribute something. This goes way back in grade 12 english class, but it's still memorable. Virtually the entire class is assembled waiting for the morning announcments to start. In walks one of the aesthetic highlights of the school, a girl named Kate. She was a tall willowy brunette with rather nice breasts. I can't remember exactly what she was wearing but it was white and fairly form fitting. She wanders in, not a care in the world, makes it about four steps when one of her friends exclaims "Kate... you're cold!"
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Post by wmdkitty on Mar 10, 2009 21:25:58 GMT -5
I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, getting a ride from a friend's place. He's fresh out of rehab (quitter!) and is in a clean & sober house, and, I'm explaining this to my mom, "He's in a new place, I'm gonna have to get directions for you."
Mom says, "Oh, did he move?"
At this point, I'm trying not to laugh (and failing!), so I just answer "Yes."
(I wanted to say, "No, they just built a new apartment around him...")
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Post by szaleniec on Mar 10, 2009 21:33:22 GMT -5
Best and brightest are also often the most twisted and disturbed, in one way or another. I'll have to think about a few of the stories I heard sitting in the SE lab. Though I can tell you that the odds are pretty good that any table in any computer lab has been used for sex at some point. Occasionally including computer peripherals. The stories I could tell of my days at York... thankfully, computer peripherals (especially communal ones) weren't involved at any point.
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Post by Distind on Mar 10, 2009 21:43:56 GMT -5
Best and brightest are also often the most twisted and disturbed, in one way or another. I'll have to think about a few of the stories I heard sitting in the SE lab. Though I can tell you that the odds are pretty good that any table in any computer lab has been used for sex at some point. Occasionally including computer peripherals. The stories I could tell of my days at York... thankfully, computer peripherals (especially communal ones) weren't involved at any point. I particularly enjoyed sharing that story with the compuslively clean friends of mine, after we'd been in the lab an hour or so. But one amusing one from the labs was about an apparent arm wrestling competition that went wrong. A guy I knew, who is pretty small but works out on occasion, was challenged by one of those guys who works out constantly and actually has bulging bicepts. To his amazement the littler guy keeps him at a standstill, until a sudden snapping noise and the other guy start screaming as the little guy slams his hand, and about half his arm, down on the table. The other half was sticking up at an odd angle.
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Dan
Full Member
Posts: 228
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Post by Dan on Mar 11, 2009 14:18:35 GMT -5
That would be a scene from The Fly.
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shrike
Junior Member
Polyamorous Atheist
Posts: 56
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Post by shrike on Mar 11, 2009 14:28:22 GMT -5
I have no context, and no idea what else was said, but all I heard when I walked up behind a guy at a convience store was: "I'm so cool that I wouldn't throw rice at a Chinese wedding"
*blink blink*
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Post by szaleniec on Mar 11, 2009 15:00:00 GMT -5
The stories I could tell of my days at York... thankfully, computer peripherals (especially communal ones) weren't involved at any point. I particularly enjoyed sharing that story with the compuslively clean friends of mine, after we'd been in the lab an hour or so. ... Now I'm imagining how Hanners from Questionable Content would react to the revelation.
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on Mar 11, 2009 17:05:22 GMT -5
I particularly enjoyed sharing that story with the compuslively clean friends of mine, after we'd been in the lab an hour or so. ... Now I'm imagining how Hanners from Questionable Content would react to the revelation. Haha, now that would be fun.
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