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Post by ironbite on Mar 11, 2009 17:21:17 GMT -5
I particularly enjoyed sharing that story with the compuslively clean friends of mine, after we'd been in the lab an hour or so. ... Now I'm imagining how Hanners from Questionable Content would react to the revelation. the world as we know it would be gone.
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Post by The Lazy One on Mar 12, 2009 5:14:08 GMT -5
I was sitting in my physics class yesterday, and this girl starts yelling, "I don't care if he has a girlfriend or not! All I want to know is if he has an STD!" Everyone looks up and stares, but the girl doesn't care and continues on: "His girlfriend's a bitch and she's ugly! I want to fuck him, and I need to know if he has an STD!"
Uh... yeah.
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Post by skyfire on Mar 12, 2009 7:26:14 GMT -5
Another one from my high school days.
I was in the men's room doing my business. A kid I knew was in front of the mirror checking his hair. Normal Monday morning.
In walks in one of the campus cops. He staggers his way up to a urinal, and while doing his duty he begins to rant about how we all should really avoid tequila because it'll mess a person up. He then proceeded to stagger to the sink and then finally stagger outside.
Sadly, "Hangover Cop" wasn't the worst cop on campus.
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ouabache
Junior Member
Official Pope
Posts: 73
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Post by ouabache on Mar 12, 2009 14:00:49 GMT -5
"If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college..."
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Post by wmdkitty on Mar 15, 2009 21:34:41 GMT -5
I have no context, and no idea what else was said, but all I heard when I walked up behind a guy at a convience store was: "I'm so cool that I wouldn't throw rice at a Chinese wedding" *blink blink* BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by clockworkgirl21 on Mar 18, 2009 7:14:42 GMT -5
I heard this my senior year in high school. We had this horrible substitute teacher for study hall. She gave students no reason to respect her. She was a fucking bitch. That's the only way I can explain it. So, this boy walks in, sees her, and says, "You know, I refuse to spend this time with you. I'll just go to the office." She says, "No, sit down." "No, I'm leaving. I won't be in the same room as you." "If you leave, I'm giving you a detention." "How about this? You're a cunt. You're a fucking cunt. Can I go now?" "No." By this time, the whole class was watching. He says, "Fine." Then he throws a book at her. She still won't let him leave. He kicks a desk over. She still tells him to sit down. Finally, he just leaves to go to the office. The class claps.
You may think he's the bad guy, but trust me. This woman was horrible to people. I would die happy if I saw her die before me with a pencil in her temple. She even once told a student her grandfather dying wasn't a good enough reason to skip school.
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Post by Death on Mar 18, 2009 12:44:37 GMT -5
Not an overheard conversation . I saw a woman who looked like Nurse Diesel yesterday. Same hair style, everything. O.o
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Post by tygerarmy on Mar 18, 2009 21:32:32 GMT -5
Hanners would flip out.
I've heard so many "if it wasn't for my horse" sayings where it was like Whiskey Tango Fox?
In Honors/AP classes, universities, as a bus boy, martial arts instructor, UPS and Army Intel I've noticed people are equally creative, perverted, and disturbed everywhere. The only different are things are environment related.
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Post by Vypernight on Mar 19, 2009 7:10:18 GMT -5
One woman I used to work with was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. However, after hearing that her mom nicknamed her Rainbow Bright (red haired), my boss started calling her Not-So Bright after we overheard her say certain things.
Other Coworker: "My exhusband just got arrested for drug dealing. I hope they he enjoys the cavity search."
Not-So Bright: "They check your teeth?"
Me: "Yeah, he might be hiding a Glock under his molar."
Customer and family friend: "My daughter is now a new mother. She just gave birth to twins the other day."
Not-So Bright: "Tell her congratulations from us."
Customer: "I will. Thanks." (some other part of the conversation that I missed.)
NSB: "How many kids does she have?"
Customer: "2...twins."
Boss: "That's our Not-So Bright."
(She was talking with a coworker, an older lady who had her arm amputated thanks to cancer.)
NSB: "How are you doing today?"
Coworker: "Not bad, though my arm's been hurting all morning."
NSB: "Oh, I'm so sorry. Which arm?"
(In her defense, she realized what she said and immediately appologized. The other woman, however, corrected her, saying she actually was feeling pain where her arm was supposed to be...I don't remember the term for that).
Coworker walks in on his day off in street clothes.
NSB (Out Loud): "Oh hi Seth, I didn't recognize you with clothes on!"
(Once again, in her defense, I've heard that same line several times by different people. It was just funny to hear out loud.)
Take care,
Jay
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Mar 19, 2009 7:13:43 GMT -5
The other woman, however, corrected her, saying she actually was feeling pain where her arm was supposed to be...I don't remember the term for that). That'd be Phantom Limb Syndrome.
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Post by Vypernight on Mar 19, 2009 7:14:48 GMT -5
Thank you.
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Post by Jack Bauer on Mar 19, 2009 8:41:59 GMT -5
In bio class, Beth was telling a different friend about how she had sex with some guy at a party, and she had no idea who he was. All she can remember is a tattoo he had on his right arm of a pin-up. Well it turns out the bio class friend also has sex with some guy, the same night as Beth did, and she couldn’t remember anything about him either. Except the pin-up tattoo on his right arm. That wasn't the party at which George Washington immersed a rival's wife's hand in a jar of acid, was it?
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