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Post by Magnizeal on Aug 8, 2009 17:33:06 GMT -5
Oh... So, not only is a predicable plot, the heroine is a fucking moron? I'm sorry, Sky, reading that would get me screaming mad at the heroine the moment I figured out the plot and she kept being so dense. Which means I'd spend half the story wanting to hit her with a clue bat... Think "Mihoshi" from the Tenchi franchise. Rare flashes of competence buried beneath a childlike demeanor. So... Your plot is predictable, and the heroine is still a fucking moron, and she's also a character type from a popular anime? This is not helping your case, and I'd still want to hit her with a clue bat and put down the book in disgust, never reading another thing you wrote. This is not a good thing, in case you missed the point... |
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Post by skyfire on Aug 8, 2009 20:10:38 GMT -5
Think "Mihoshi" from the Tenchi franchise. Rare flashes of competence buried beneath a childlike demeanor. So... Your plot is predictable, and the heroine is still a fucking moron, and she's also a character type from a popular anime? This is not helping your case, and I'd still want to hit her with a clue bat and put down the book in disgust, never reading another thing you wrote. This is not a good thing, in case you missed the point... ...unless of course the whole damn thing is supposed to be a parody, which should have been obvious by the smiley the first time around. ;D |
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Aug 10, 2009 20:32:27 GMT -5
I don't know about you but in my opinion that makes it worse.
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Post by John E on Aug 10, 2009 23:52:44 GMT -5
If you're trying to write a parody and people mistake it for a serious but crappy story, that's not a good thing.
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Post by skyfire on Aug 17, 2009 14:21:44 GMT -5
*bump*
Here's a hypothetical for my main series, based on one of my main characters and a plot line I'm looking at. Yes, this would indeed be for the series finale.
**
You are in your mid 20s. You have a bachelor's in computer science and work as a programmer at a somewhat large Dilbert-esque computer software company.
Owing to the fact that you're one of the few people in your branch who actually knows what the hell you're doing, a few months ago you were promoted to department manager well ahead of your peers, some of whom have been at the company for a longer period. Since then, everything you've touched has turned to gold. Not only have you been able to whip the department into shape, some programs (mostly games) that you've written on your own time but "sold" to the company have proven to be quite popular. As such, you're making six figures easy and have already purchased outright a comfortable home. You've got a fiancee who loves you, a firm social network to fall back on, and everything else to go along with having a happy life.
One morning, you get called into a surprise meeting by your manager, the guy in charge of the branch. When you arrive, you find yourself suddenly having an audience with the CEO of the company and several of his top people. The doors close behind you, and security guards from HQ itself are posted.
A few days earlier, the CEO was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. The doctor has given him no more than 10 years to live. He intends to retire in 5.
Before he can announce any of this to the public, however, he wants to ensure that a chain of succession has been put in place. He's also stepping up efforts to expand internationally so that they are at least started before he goes. And he's using the two occurrences as an excuse to trim the deadweights from the management.
This is where you come in.
Your manager will be going up to corporate in order to replace a VP that's gotten entirely too lazy. As that's a several step promotion, you will be promoted as well. You will be two steps below your manager, leaving you in charge of operations for half the continent. You will, however, be allowed to make your current branch your headquarters in order to make it easier for you.
There is, however, a catch: you don't have a master's or significant international experience (you've taught a few seminars to some people in the UK, but that's it), meaning that people might balk at your promotion. To this end, the CEO is offering you two choices. You have six months to get your affairs in order and select your replacement, and you may take your fiancee with you if you wish.
[1]. You spend six months helping to open up a branch office in Japan. You will be tasked with bringing the hardware and software up to speed, training the Japanese staffers, and grooming the person who will be the actual branch manager. Once you get home, you have eighteen months to make "significant progress" (at least 75% completion) on getting an MBA.
[2]. You head to Japan and take charge of the branch office. Period. It will be a two-year assignment, during which everything will be up to you to put in place; the whole thing will, for the most part, rest on your shoulders. You will come back to your home city after that period and take your new promotion. It'll be a lot harder and you'll have to accept a lot more risk, but if you take it then the CEO will leave it in his will that you are to be on the short list for a more advanced promotion.
Which would you choose?
Thanks.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Aug 17, 2009 15:15:50 GMT -5
Plot Test:
Once upon a time there was a girl. Her name was Firefly Rose. She lived and travelled with the circus because her mother was a trick-rider, so the circus was all she knew. While the kids are all tutored and schooled and have an education, it's still a rather sheltered upbringing and they had little exposure to the outside world. Rosey's ambition is to be an acrobat, like the troupe that works in the circus. She has tunnel vision regarding her future. But she has everything she needs, her mother and her "auntie" and her friends among the children of the other performers.
Until one day her mother died suddenly--she ignored coughs and colds until it turned into pneumonia.
Frightened, sad, and mourning, her life was turned upside-down when she was forced to leave the only life she ever knew in the circus to live with the father she'd never met. The story chronicles the adjustment from living and travelling on the circus train to living in White Picket Fence America.
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