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Post by Green-Eyed Lilo on Mar 13, 2009 22:06:25 GMT -5
Mainpagers are familiar with Boundless.org, Focus on the Family's site for young adults. One of their main priorities is convincing twentysomethings to marry and have babies as soon as possible. Well, this is too long to post to the mainpage, and there's so much I can't quote-mine, but I have to share this article. It is called "Marry Sooner Rather Than Later." It basically says people in their early 20s have to get married so they can have good, godly married sex and not be tempted to have evil unmarried sex. Not even remotely kidding. Maybe I do have a pull-quote here: Let's consider a few, incontrovertible facts:
God designed most of us to get married. A few may be called to celibacy, but more than 90 percent of us will experience marriage at least once in our lives.
You'll never have a larger pool to draw from for a suitable, godly marriage partner than during your university years.
God made you a sexual being but commands you to restrict sexual activity to marriage (1 Corinthians 6:15-20, 7:36ff; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7); at a certain point it becomes spiritually dangerous and even unhealthy to deny sexual relations.
Though the average age for a man to get married in this country is now approaching 28, and the average age for a woman is approaching 27, the fact is, you've been created by God with a body that is ready for sexual activity a decade before that. (I don't believe most 18 year olds are ready for marriage — but once you begin climbing through your 20s, it's a good idea to at least begin taking stock toward where you're at.) A cavalier attitude toward this disconnect can result in premarital sexual sin that dishonors God and threatens your integrity, as well as your future sexual satisfaction in marriage.
Read more, if you dare: www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001992.cfm
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Post by schizophonic on Mar 13, 2009 22:10:40 GMT -5
Rush into marriage for sex? Sounds kind of...Well, counter to everything CVhristians normally preach about sex and marriage.
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starbrewer
Full Member
God can go to hell
Posts: 226
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Post by starbrewer on Mar 13, 2009 22:13:54 GMT -5
Recipe for a higher divorce rate!
Evangelicals already have the highest divorce rate of all demographic groups.
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Rubyfruit
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Just your friendly neighborhood bisexual Agnostic
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Post by Rubyfruit on Mar 13, 2009 22:24:37 GMT -5
I had to click the link, didn't I?
But it's the same junk I heard at youth group before. Marry as young as possible, have babies as soon as possible, yes, yes. The article repeats what I heard almost ten years ago. But this is Focus on the Family...
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Post by amindfarfaraway on Mar 13, 2009 22:33:02 GMT -5
This just seems odd to me. I know that it's pretty much anti-fundy to to have sex, well, almost at all. They seem to frown upon it some even in marriage. I'm aware of the obvious paradox and inconsistencies with their other theologies in this post, but there's something else here that's strangely odd, and I just can't put my finger on it. Or maybe it's because I'm sitting here drinking vodka. But it almost seems like they want these young people to fail. Of course, that goes along with their "humans aren't worth shit" theology. Maybe that's what it is. But I'm not even going to dare click on that link. My blood pressure is already a little bit high as it is.
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Post by Green-Eyed Lilo on Mar 13, 2009 22:34:17 GMT -5
I was strongly encouraged to marry young at my youth group, too. But I think there's something else going on now. From what my younger cousins describe, the pressure's stronger.
I don't even think marrying young is a terrible thing IAOI. My brother and SIL were 23 and 19, respectively, when they married. My mom was 19. My cousin married right after she graduated college, and the groom had only been out of college a couple years. Most of my friends who got married, at least cross-sex, did so long before they were that terrible age of 28 referenced in the article, and those of us who married same-sex might have done so earlier if the option had been available. (Of course, FOTF fights that option.) But the motivations weren't sex or getting right with any god. Simply, they'd found the right person and saw no reason why "forever" had to wait.
I was just so amazed that this recipe for marital disaster was laid out so clearly on a site for a group that exalts "traditional" marriage and claims to be all about the family.
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Post by ironbite on Mar 13, 2009 23:37:32 GMT -5
Its a way to get their numbers up that's all.
Ironbite-which in and of itself is kinda...weird.
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Post by MozMode on Mar 14, 2009 9:29:07 GMT -5
Recipe for a higher divorce rate! Evangelicals already have the highest divorce rate of all demographic groups. See, that's what I don't get. If they're advocating this, and of course, we all know what the divorce rate is, I thought Fundie's were against divorce?? That marriage is forever in the eyez of god blah blah blah. It just seems so...anti-Marriage almost, what they're advocating. Then again, I shouldn't even try to understand Fundie logic.
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Post by MozMode on Mar 14, 2009 9:49:08 GMT -5
Oh I just read the latest article on that site, entitled "Marry Sooner Rather Than Later" and I must say....to actually see someone in the 21st century, in this day and age, have such archaic thinking...it's quite astounding. He starts his article with saying:
"I once shocked a group of college students when I challenged the prevailing condescension toward women who go to college with the earnest intention of finding a husband — something I think should be applauded rather than condemned."
Who does that though? Nowadays, who honestly spends all that money, all that time and effort to get into a University or Community College, just to find a mate? I'm sure there are a few women who take that stance, but the majority of women nowadays go to college for a DEGREE.
He then goes on to say at the end:
"...if you're finding it difficult to control yourself sexually, He gives clear advice: Find somebody to marry."
As if marriage is the end all, be all FIX for someone who is sexually frustrated. It's like this guy is living in an alternate universe or something.
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Rubyfruit
New Member
Just your friendly neighborhood bisexual Agnostic
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Post by Rubyfruit on Mar 14, 2009 10:21:31 GMT -5
I was just so amazed that this recipe for marital disaster was laid out so clearly on a site for a group that exalts "traditional" marriage and claims to be all about the family. Because at this point, it's all about making The Babies? I have no idea why they're supporting the Marry Young And Have Lots O' Babies thing. It is indeed a recipe for a marital trainwreck. Don't Evangelicals have a crazy-high divorce rate already? You'd think that they'd tell people to hold off on marriage until they're able to make that decision without it being about finally being able to fuck with the okay from their parents or whatever. But no. I guess that making babies is more important than a stable marriage, at least to Focus on the Family.
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Post by schizophonic on Mar 14, 2009 10:27:02 GMT -5
"I once shocked a group of college students when I challenged the prevailing condescension toward women who go to college with the earnest intention of finding a husband — something I think should be applauded rather than condemned." Okay, one, it's nice to know they haven't been exposed to anything since the seventies. Two, I can't wrap my head around why it's a good thing to go to college to find a husband. It seems like an impractical waste of money to do that. Even to the ridiculous folks who think that people should marry early and often, there have to be better ways to "find yourself a nice man and settle down." I mean, really.
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adoylelb90815
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I'm the feminist intellectual fundies warned you about
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Post by adoylelb90815 on Mar 14, 2009 13:06:11 GMT -5
Making babies seems to be more important than finding the right person for marriage and having a stable income. Babies are a better way to increase membership rates because they're brainwashed from birth, which is easier than attracting and retaining adult converts.
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Post by trike on Mar 14, 2009 13:22:54 GMT -5
Rush into marriage for sex? Sounds kind of...Well, counter to everything CVhristians normally preach about sex and marriage. This marrying early thing is what keeps the college I attend in business, since most parents expect their kids to leave after 4-5 years with a spouse.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 14, 2009 13:41:29 GMT -5
This has always been the tune with the Super Christians, hasn't it? Get married as soon as possible and go make babies! Marriage as a solution for having trouble controlling your sexual urges, though, seems completely against everything they stand for. Sexual desires are dirty! Sex is disgusting! Sex is just for babies! Clearly, the suggested solution for having trouble controlling your sexual urges SHOULD have been to pray that your libido will just disappear.
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on Mar 14, 2009 13:52:23 GMT -5
Making babies seems to be more important than finding the right person for marriage and having a stable income. Babies are a better way to increase membership rates because they're brainwashed from birth, which is easier than attracting and retaining adult converts. This. I'm not going to discourage people from marrying early, but as a 20-year old in college, I am far, far too ill-equipped to have children. I don't have an income, or the mentality to take care of ANYTHING, let alone a wife and children. Also, with my current lifestyle, to find a woman who can put up with me for the next decade is nothing short of miraculous. In the 21st century, I feel what is more important for both partners is stability and responsibility. We don't live in a world with a high mortality rate, and a family definitely doesn't need 8-10 children. We're in a position that we can give whatever children we have the best life they could possibly have, but the message of marrying young and having lots of kids defeats that.
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