Post by lightmelon on Sept 15, 2009 22:53:41 GMT -5
Alright, quiz time I suppose.
I don't understand how this even applies to me....lol oh well!
(to all who don't understand...I was luxmelon)
And vana as I did watch Airbender a few times, I never heard of the Lord Melon o.o sounds interesting though!
Okay.
Part I: The bondage
1. When did this bondage start?
I'm going to guess you asked me to take this in reference to my paganism....Um, I was in 11th grade? But I'd had the same beliefs for years, just never knew that there was any world outside of the Christian Church. I was afraid for all those years until I explored life and found myself.
2. Was there any unusual things that took place (or you did) when this bondage started?
Uhhh.....my life has never been normal, so I really don't know >_>
3. If this bondage started when you were a child: Do you have ancestors who have suffered from a similar kind of bondage?
I have Cherokee blood....and that helps me be more attuned to nature.......does that count?
4. What kind of bondage are you facing? (Fears, depression, voices in your mind, mental illness, physical illness, mental torment, spiritual torment, etc.. Please be as detailed as possible.)
According to you my difference in beliefs is bad...
5. What are all the things that have impacted your life? (Parent's death, trauma, a certain situation that changed your life, anything that 'changed' you.)
I've had a life of hell, but thats simply what built me. Things like that only make you stronger. If it wasn't for the bad things I'd have never found myself. But lets see, short recap... Abuse druggie mother, never being allowed out of the home as a child, serious neglect at another place, health problems because I've always been kinda sickly, a couple of abusive relationships, being practically homeless......care for me to go on? But I wouldn't trade the life experience from those things for the world. Except the sickly thing, I could live w/o that.
Part II: Your ancestor's background
1. Do you have ancestors who have struggled with similar problems or bondages?
Nah.
2. Did your bondage start as a child and appear to have no reason to be there?
I've always been a spirtually open, dreamy romantic. I've been pagan since birth.
3. Do you have siblings who suffer from similar bondages or oppression?
My cousin is also a witch but she found the craft after me....
Part III: Soul ties
1. Have you been involved with extramarital sex? Are you attracted to an ex-lover? Is he or she a good/godly influence for you?
I have an ex fiance that I'll always love, we're best friends...but with reason, I'd have never been in the position to marry him if that love hadn't been there. But I know we had problems and going back to him wouldn't be prudent at the moment. My best friend is the shoulder for me to lean on....by the way, he's Christian and a minister's son.
2. Have you been divorced?
Nope
3. Do you feel an unusual attraction to a past boyfriend, girlfriend or lover (who is obviously not right for you)?
See the above. We are good together but our tempers clash too much, plus we are very different sometimes.
4. Do you let anybody dominate, control, or make your choices you?
Eh, I'm a pretty headstrang person. I'll let them if it benefits me.
5. Have you ever formed a blood covenant with another person? (Blood brothers, etc.)
Nope
6. Have you ever made vows or agreements with somebody in effort to strengthen the relationship or commit yourself to each other?
My best friend from the above and I promised to be married and always love each other....I've made many promises.
7. Do you see any ungodly relationships in your past where gifts were exchanged? (Are you holding onto something that was given to you from somebody you had an adultery with, etc.)
Nope
8. Have you ever had ungodly relations with an animal?
That's kinda illegal, so nope, no relations with my cats or birds, I have a man for that o.o;
9. Do you have any pictures in your possession of somebody whom you may have an ungodly soul tie with? (A picture of you with somebody you had an adultery with, etc.)
I don't think so o.o;
Part IV: Relationship with parents
1. What do you think of your parents?
My father is exceedingly sensitive and immature and never around. My mother is batshit insane. My grandmother practically raised me and I love the hell outta that woman, she's the closest thing to an angel there is.
2. How would you explain your childhood?
Traumatic but I was the shy odd kid who never really got in trouble for anything but being late all the time. In high school I kinda came into myself and stood up for who I was and everyone either loved me, or literally threw rocks at me and called me a Satanist. There wasn't much of a grey area there. I was nice to everyone, went to prom both years and made pretty good grades. I was a teacher's pet for a while in high school. I was known for being the different one who stood up for her beliefs.
3. Where you close to your parents while growing up? If not, why?
I've always been quiet and to myself until after I moved out of the house....
4. How would you explain your relationship with your parents? Was it good, bad or very cold?
My dad and I don't speak and I have no idea why. He just stopped talking to me one day. My mother tries to be the 'perfect mom' to my face while stealing my identity and ruining my credit and basically taking advantage of me behind my back....she's messed up. My grandmother and I are very close.
5. Did you feel rejection from your parents?
More like hatred for being different
6. Was either of your parents overly passive or controlling?
My mother was very controlling, thats one reason why she's resented me- I have my own mind and beliefs from the start.....she can't manipulate me like she does everyone else.
7. Has either of your parents been divorced? Remarried? Are your parents divorced?
I was an illegitimate child. My mom has been divorced twice, my dad once.
8. How would you describe your relationship with your siblings growing up?
I didn't know about my half sister until I was 16.
Part V: Rejection and abuse
1. Were your parents married when you were conceived? Were you the right sex? Did your parents not want you, or want you to be different (gender, etc.) in any way? If so, explain.
No, see the above. My mom wanted a girl and thats what she got. But she wanted someone just like her...and I'm very different.
2. Did you feel rejected as a child? As an adult? If so, by whom? Explain.
I don't care if people reject me, I'm not here to please people.
3. Did you face abuse? What kind (emotional, physical, sexual, etc.) and by whom?
I've suffered years of emotional abuse but like I said it made me stronger. I learned from it.
4. Have you faced rejection from your peers, classmates, friends or those around you?
Yes, for being a animal activist, not hunting or partying, and dressing differently...and for being pagan and liberal. I live in Alabama, you can see the picture here.
5. Have you ever been put down, belittled, or made fun of? If so, by whom? Explain.
Just like everyone else. I was never popular and never wanted to be, those things are superficial.
6. If you have faced rejection or abuse, how did you respond? Do you feel you are still paying a price for it? If so, how?
I just crawled inside myself.
7. How do you respond to rejection right now?
I just laugh and shake my head. I'm used to being the bad guy for nothing. I truly believe that thats the other persons problem though, they feel threatened by me.
8. Do you reject yourself (self-rejection)? If so, why and in what ways?
I respect who I am, although I have flaws just like everyone
Part VI: Unforgiveness or bitterness
1. Is there anybody you feel edgy around? (Don't like them, feel anything in your heart against them, etc.)
I feel bad vibes around people who aren't trustworthy.
2. Do you have anything against anybody? In other words, is there anybody that you have a hard time demonstrating the love of Christ to?
Uh, I have a hard time communicating with Christians that don't respect my religion as a legitimate one.
3. Has anybody wronged you that you haven't forgiven from your heart (thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc.)?
I don't hold it against them but I'll never forget.
4. How do your view your siblings, parents, coworkers, etc.? Do you have any hard feelings against them?
I view them as just being there, don't pay too much attention.
5. Do you make a habit of blaming yourself for everything? Do you obsess over your mistakes and feel unusually guilty for them?
I have a habit of saying I'm sorry too much but I don't stress over stuff for long
6. Do you deeply regret things that you've done in your past? Could you kick yourself over something you've done in your past? If so, explain.
I've done some kinda crappy things in the past, and sure, wish I could change them, like times I was mean to my sweet little grandmother or hurt an ex boyfriend but....everyone has those things.
Part VII: Personality
1. Are you a very positive or negative person?
depends on my mood
2. Do you feel confident in yourself? If so, why?
Yes. I stand up for my religion and my veganism in the Bible Belt where all people know how to do is hunt and fish. I involve myself in causes and speak my mind, I'm proud of myself.
3. Do you have a low self esteem? If so, why?
Sometimes I feel I am ugly....but thats normal for a woman in the culture of "you must be 5'9 and skinny as hell, wearing nothing to be pretty" bullshit.
4. Are you domineering or controlling? If so, to whom, and in what ways? Why?
I'm the leader of the household but I don't push that hard.
5. Are you an achiever? (A go-getter) If so, in what ways?
LOL not at ALL
6. Do you feel that you are always right and that if everybody did everything your way, this world would be a better place to live?
I'm a Capricorn. I'm always right
7. How do you treat your children? Husband? Are you controlling, passive, etc.?
No kids, just cats, and thats how it should be.
8. Do you like people to 'look at you' (as in receive attention)?
I'm kinda shy but sure, even though it makes me blush.
Part VIII: Emotional health
1. Do you strive to feel accepted? If so, how does this affect your lifestyle? By whom do you want to feel accepted?
No, people can fuck off if they don't like who I am.
2. Are you always stressed out? If so, why?
I'm pretty easy going.
3. Do you feel hurt? If so, by whom/what and why?
Like I've said, there are many ghosts in my past and my boyfriend can be an ass sometimes and work is shitty but I don't hold onto it, I just try and smile and hope for the best.
4. Do you feel good about yourself? If not, why?
I have my faults but yes.
5. Do you feel depressed? If so, why? When did it start? Did your parents or grandparents struggle with depression? If so, then do you know when it started and why? Do you have siblings who are also struggling? Do you feel your depression is rational or irrational?
It runs in my family, I have my moments. I struggle with it but I rise above it.
6. Do you struggle with fears? If so, what is it that you fear? (Fear of heights, dying, being hopeless, failure, never marrying, etc.)
I have a bunch of strange phobias. I can't stand to have the undersides of my wrists touched. I'm afraid of needles and doctors and hospitals and death and rotting corpses and ect, o.o;
7. Do you worry about things? What things do you worry about? Why?
I'm very poor and sickly a lot. I worry about my health and where I'll be in 10 years. I worry about my grandmother who is sick these days. I worry about my mother, ect. It's all normal.
8. Do you struggle with anger? Do you have a short temper?
I'm easy going until you push me too far.
9. Do you have any insecurities? If so, explain.
Well, I'm a small girl, sometimes wish I was more super-modelesque
10. Do you feel any self-pity or feel sorry for yourself? Have you ever felt this? If so, why?
Everyone has at some point when life sucks
11. Do you find it easy to hate people? If so, over what kinds of things would a person have to do to make you hate them?
Sometimes. I don't like people who breed animals when there are tons of shelter animals that need homes, or have like 8 kids when there are kids that need adoptions ( but nooo, abortions aer bad /eyeroll) I hate hunters and animal abusers of ignorant people spouting bullshit about stuff they don't understand
like right wingers talking about Obama. I can't stand spoiled kids or people that discriminate about religion, sexuality, color, sex...oh god I have a lot of pet peeves.
12. Do you have any irrational feelings? If so, what are they?
I'm a woman who bleeds every month, of course I do.
13. Do you feel like something is wrong with you?
No.
14. Do you feel excessively guilty over anything? Is this a continual problem?
Nope
15. Are you very confused and forgetful? (Beyond the normal)
lol I'm absentminded, lose everything and are completely disorganised
16. Are you aware of any emotional wounds that have affected you?
I've already discussed this.
17. Have you ever been deeply embarrassed over something? What was it?
I'm an expert at making an idiot of myself
18. Have you been in or are currently experiencing very difficult (depressing) circumstances which may cause you to feel hopeless or depressed?
No more than normal
Part IX: Who are you in Christ? And how do you see God?
1. How do you explain your relationship with God?
I'm a pagan /eyeroll. I don't worship Yahweh- he's just an old mythical war-god used to subjugate women and control people
2. Do you feel you aren't good enough to meet His standards?
lmao if he was real he could kiss my ass
3. Do you see Him as a loving father, or a dictator?
the biblical god was a dictator for a reason. Read "When God was a Woman" by Merlin Stone
4. Do you believe that it's only by the Blood of Jesus that your sins are forgiven? Or do
you feel you need to earn your forgiveness in any way?
N/A
5. Do you feel God's love in your life?
N/A
6. Do you feel like your sins are forgiven? Or do you feel guilty?
N/A
7. Do you feel excessively guilty in everyday life?
N/A
8. Do you feel that doing good things, you earn God's love and acceptance?
N/A
9. Do you feel that God is angry or upset with you?
N/A
Part X: Spoken curses, vows & oaths
1. Have you ever spoken something negative about yourself that has came to past? For example: "I'm sick and tired..." or "If I don't quit typing, I'm going to get arthritis!"
Yeah
2. Has your parents, or those in authority over you spoken out a curse over you? For example: "You'll never amount to anything!" or "You'll never get out of debt" or "You're so dumb"
Yeah and they were wrong
3. Have you ever made a vow out of anger? If so, what? For example: "I'll never let anybody push me around again!" or "I'm never going to be hurt again!"
Of course, and I meant it
4. Have you ever wished to die? Have you ever said it?
When things were really rough yeah
5. If you have made any vows or oaths, what are they?
I don't remember
Part XI: Relationships
1. Do you have many friends? What kind of people are they?
I have a lot of friends, but only a few close ones, they ae good people of all sexuality and religions
2. Do you have a hard time trying to meet new people or make friends?
I'm very friendly
3. Are you socially outgoing or shy? If so, why?
'A little of both
4. How would you define your relationship with your spouse?
'I have a live in boyfriend of a year. 'We are complete opposites but we manage...although sometimes we just can't see eye to eye, there's a distance there
Part XII: Sexuality
1. Have you ever had unholy sex? What kind? (Fornication, adultery, sodomy, bestiality, with a child, etc.)
lmaooooo I've done some things that'd make your hair curl >_> But only with people I love. I don't do the whole one night stand thing, just not for me
2. Have you struggled with lust, fantasy or unholy sexual thoughts? If so, what kind?
No. Because I believe sex is sacred and holy.
3. Have you been attracted to pornography?
The human body is beautiful and sacred. I have no issues looking at nudes.
4. Do you have homosexual thoughts and desires? If so, have you acted upon those feelings?
I like who I like. I've kinda kissed a girl before, and been attracted to a few, but thats it
5. How do you feel about your sexuality? (Do you feel dirty about it, or do you feel it's a wonderful blessing that God's given you?)
I have some health problems these days that makes it hard to do some of those things. But like I've said, it's sacred. My body is the vessel of the goddess, and my lover the god, it's beautiful.
6. Do you withhold sex from your spouse or are you fidgety? Do you enjoy a healthy relationship with your spouse sexually? How does he or she react?
My lover is supportive of my feelings and always stops if I'm too sick to do things like that, he'd never make me do anything against my will.
7. Have you ever been raped or sexually abused?
No.
8. Have you ever woke up and felt a sexual presence with you? There are demons that imitate male and female functions, and stimulate their host (a person) sexually (beyond the normal 'wet dream').
No.
9. Do you struggle or have you struggled with masturbation?
It's a normal function lol. I like my electric boyfriend when my real one's being an ass.
10. Do you struggle or have you struggled with any other sexual related thoughts, desires, or bondages?
I once playfully struggled against my silk handcuffs, does that count? /eyelash flutter
11. Is there anything sexually that you are ashamed of?
I once slept with a complete asshole that I loved, I regret that.
Part XIII: Addictions
1. Do you have any addictions? If so, what kind? (Drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, TV, etc.) When did they start?
Caffiene and video games and cheese.
2. Did anybody else in your family (siblings, ancestors, etc.) have a struggle with any addictions? If so, what? Who?
My mother had troubles with drugs and alcohol, my grandmother w/ cigs
3. Have you ever had, or currently have any sort of obsession over anything? If so, what?
lol when I was a preteen
Part XIV: False religions
Examples of false religions: Buddhism, Hindu, Jehovah Witness, Mormonism, Christian Scientists, eastern religions, etc.
1. Have you ever been involved with any false religions? If so, why, when and how long? How do you feel about those beliefs now?
I don't consider my religion to be false...lol. I don't actively believe in any gods as much as I believe nature and life is a connected living breathing thing in it's entirety and it's sacred.
I'm kinda a more lighthearted Wiccan..
2. Have you ever been involved in any secret societies such as Freemasonry? If so, how deep were you involved?
No.
Part XV: The occult & Satanism
1. Have you ever shown interest in the occult? If so, in what ways? (Read up on it, dabbled in it, etc.)
For goddess's sake, the word occult JUST MEANS HIDDEN. I'm a witch. I do witchy things. Okay?
2. Do you still feel drawn or attracted to the occult?
It's a part of who I am
3. Have you had any interest in horror or thriller style movies or novels? Are you still attracted to these things?
Sure, they are good entertainment
4. Have you ever made a vow with the devil? If so, what?
I. Don't. Believe. in. the. Devil.
5. Married Satan?
Ew. red cawk.
6. Worshipped a demon or Satan?
See the above >_< Don't. believe.
7. Have you ever put a curse or spell on somebody?
hehe, dare to be silent.
8. Are you aware of any curses or spells placed on you? If so, what? Who did it?
I wouldn't know, witches don't usually speak about stuff like that
9. Dabbled with an Ouija board? If so, why?
lol I bought one then my mom refused to let me ever use it cause it was of teh debbil. LOL she hid it in a bag in the storage building.....because if Satan was all so powerful a garbage bag would stop it
10. Ever been a member of a coven (group of 13 witches)? Explain.
There were only 4 women.
11. Communicated with the dead? Explain.
No.
12. Told somebody's fortune or went to see a fortune teller? Explain.
I read tarot cards and do astrology charts for fun because I'm talented at it. Want one?
13. Ever read your horoscope?
I'm a Capricorn :3
14. Watched or been involved in a séance? Explain.
No.
15. Been involved or a victim of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA)? Explain.
No.
16. Been baptized into a false religion or any other evil baptism? If so, what were you baptized into? When?
lol I was baptized a Southern Baptist. That's about as evil as they come.
17. Have you ever had a spirit guide?
Nope
18. Have you ever been involved with meditation, yoga, karate, or related activities?
Meditation is good for you, I'd just hurt myself with karate....and Yoga feels good but I'm lazy
19. Were you or anybody in your family superstitious? If so, who?
lol my grandmother
20. Ever been involved in astral travel? (Out of body)
Of course.
21. If you have made any vows or oaths, what are they? Were there any sacrifices or rituals that was accompanied with them?
In some of my spells, yes
22. Have you ever made a blood pact before? If so, with whom (including persons, demons and Satan) and for what purpose?
I'm scared of blood D:
23. Have you ever partaken in automatic writing, automatic drawing or automatic painting?
lol no
24. Have you ever been involved in Yoga, transcendental meditation, or similar activities?
Didn't I already answer this?
25. Have you ever sought healing from a spiritual source other than Jesus Christ? (New age healing, energy healing, etc.)
Yes because these actions work....and are GOOD
26. Any other involvement in the occult? Explain.
I'm a witch from head to toe.
Part XVI: Un-confessed sins
1. Are there any un-confessed sins that you have not repented of? (Usually something you've done, that you know is wrong, but won't admit to it. An abortion, stealing, etc. are some examples.)
N/A
2. Is there anything you've been hiding inside that you haven't confessed?
Nope, I'm pretty open
3. Do you feel excessively guilty over some thing(s) you've done in the past? If so, what?
No.
Part XVII: Cursed objects
1. Do you have any idols, occult rings, or anything that could hold evil spiritual value in your home? If so, what? Any objects that hold evil spiritual value must be destroyed.
I have a beautiful alter dedicated to Artemis and Aphrodite, and a wonderful amber and jet pentacle necklace, those are my treasures.
2. Do you have any gifts saved from sinful relationships? If so, explain. For example, if a man gives a woman a personal gift during an adultery, that needs to be sold or destroyed.
I dunno
Part XVIII: Severe trauma, abuse & disassociation
1. Have you ever been exposed to extreme abuse or a traumatic experience? Did it have a drastic effect on your emotional or mental system? If so, what happen? How did it affect you?
I've explained this. My childhood was traumatic.
2. Have you ever disassociated or been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)?
No.
3. Are you aware of any alters (other personalities) that you may have? (If so, tell me about them)
No.
4. Do you have a memory gap where you cannot remember a certain time of your life?
Yes, I've blocked out some of the worst things that have happened vaguely
5. Do you have false memories of things that really didn't take place?
No.
6. Have you ever been in a car accident or other traumatic situation? Have you ever witnessed a tragedy in real life?
Yeah I got in a bad car wreck a couple years ago.
Part XIX: Weaknesses
1. Do you struggle with any habitual sins? If so, what? Do you want to break those bad habits?
I'm addicted to cheese whilst trying to be vegan D:
2. Do you struggle with any weaknesses such as lust, anger, hate, etc.? If so, what? Do you know where they came from or how they got started? Do you want to break free from those weaknesses?
Not really
Part XX: Pregnancy issues
1. Have you ever said something along the lines of, "I will never have children"?
lol yes, when people bring in crying screaming brats, or when I noticed how painful it looks. The times recently was when I realised it may be very dangerous for me to conceive, and there is an over population problem anyways so adoption is a better choice. I haven't decided what to do yet though.
2. Have you ever had an abortion or attempted one?
No.
3. Have you ever had incest or ungodly sexual relations with somebody related to you? (See Leviticus 20:19-21, as this can cause a curse to land upon you which needs to be broken)
Ew o.o; No
Part XXI: Other things to look for
1. Have you ever tried drugs? If so, how much, and how did it affect you? Why did you try drugs?
I'm very much AGAINST drug use.
2. Have you ever thought about or attempted suicide?
Yes.
3. Do you have any physical or mental disabilities, diseases or illnesses? Explain.
I am sickly a lot, my liver isn't completely healthy, I have some problems with my reproductive organs, I have a few other issues I don't wanna talk about. Other than that I'm a normal little girl. I'm finally a healthy weight for my size after years of being underweight because I was a preemie (7 mo.) woo! 5'3and 115!
4. Do you want, and are willing to be delivered? Are you willing to give up those demon spirits and maybe make some lifestyle changes in order to keep your deliverance?
I like who I am, and do not believe in demons.
5. Do you experience unusual confusion settle upon you as you try to pray and read the Bible?
I understand the Bible and I hate the messages it delievers. There are some good messages in there but people ignore those and just look for reasons to hate others.
6. What kind of music do you like? (Please list all styles of music you currently enjoy, and give examples in each category you list, such as some names of artists and songs)
I like a lot of different types of music, mostly alternative, love songs, Enya and Dido type stuff (what genre is that?) and metal/rock/goth stuff
7. Have you previously enjoyed hard rock, metal, acid, alternative, rap, new age, or any other kind of worldly music? (Please provide some examples of artists and songs from each genre (type/style) of music you list)
Yes....
8. Have you had any nightmares or weird experiences at night while supposedly sleeping?
Heh. Yes. But usually it's just reliving past stuff, or dealing with work stresses or relationship problems. As I've explained before.....I have divination dreams, sometimes scary, sometimes not.
9. Have you ever been in a trance or had an out of body experience?
Yes
10. Have you ever noticed time slipped right out from under you? For example, you look at your watch and it's 7:00pm, then you look again what seemed like 15 minutes later and it's 2:00am. This is a sign of a trance.
OH GOD YES LOL....thank you video games and good books. And like vana mentioned POKEMON OH GAWD LOL
11. Have you ever touched or kissed a dead body? If so, explain whom and why and what happened afterwards.
I kissed my dead grandfather's forehead and gave him my teddy bear at his funeral when I was 10.
12. Do you feel that you somehow have to earn your forgiveness? Do you 'wonder' if your sins are truly forgiven -- all of them? Are you aware of any signs of legalism or religious spirits operating in your mind?
N/A
13. Do you have any physical infirmities, sickness or diseases? If so, please list them.
I've explained this but I'm also nearsighted, I have hypoglycemia, and I get tired really easily, plus a slipped disk in my back
14. Are you on any medications? If so, please explain.
Nope.
15. Have you ever had any other kind of weird encounter with the spiritual realm?
ha not weird
This was too long D: Why did I even do this?
I don't understand how this even applies to me....lol oh well!
(to all who don't understand...I was luxmelon)
And vana as I did watch Airbender a few times, I never heard of the Lord Melon o.o sounds interesting though!
Okay.
Part I: The bondage
1. When did this bondage start?
I'm going to guess you asked me to take this in reference to my paganism....Um, I was in 11th grade? But I'd had the same beliefs for years, just never knew that there was any world outside of the Christian Church. I was afraid for all those years until I explored life and found myself.
2. Was there any unusual things that took place (or you did) when this bondage started?
Uhhh.....my life has never been normal, so I really don't know >_>
3. If this bondage started when you were a child: Do you have ancestors who have suffered from a similar kind of bondage?
I have Cherokee blood....and that helps me be more attuned to nature.......does that count?
4. What kind of bondage are you facing? (Fears, depression, voices in your mind, mental illness, physical illness, mental torment, spiritual torment, etc.. Please be as detailed as possible.)
According to you my difference in beliefs is bad...
5. What are all the things that have impacted your life? (Parent's death, trauma, a certain situation that changed your life, anything that 'changed' you.)
I've had a life of hell, but thats simply what built me. Things like that only make you stronger. If it wasn't for the bad things I'd have never found myself. But lets see, short recap... Abuse druggie mother, never being allowed out of the home as a child, serious neglect at another place, health problems because I've always been kinda sickly, a couple of abusive relationships, being practically homeless......care for me to go on? But I wouldn't trade the life experience from those things for the world. Except the sickly thing, I could live w/o that.
Part II: Your ancestor's background
1. Do you have ancestors who have struggled with similar problems or bondages?
Nah.
2. Did your bondage start as a child and appear to have no reason to be there?
I've always been a spirtually open, dreamy romantic. I've been pagan since birth.
3. Do you have siblings who suffer from similar bondages or oppression?
My cousin is also a witch but she found the craft after me....
Part III: Soul ties
1. Have you been involved with extramarital sex? Are you attracted to an ex-lover? Is he or she a good/godly influence for you?
I have an ex fiance that I'll always love, we're best friends...but with reason, I'd have never been in the position to marry him if that love hadn't been there. But I know we had problems and going back to him wouldn't be prudent at the moment. My best friend is the shoulder for me to lean on....by the way, he's Christian and a minister's son.
2. Have you been divorced?
Nope
3. Do you feel an unusual attraction to a past boyfriend, girlfriend or lover (who is obviously not right for you)?
See the above. We are good together but our tempers clash too much, plus we are very different sometimes.
4. Do you let anybody dominate, control, or make your choices you?
Eh, I'm a pretty headstrang person. I'll let them if it benefits me.
5. Have you ever formed a blood covenant with another person? (Blood brothers, etc.)
Nope
6. Have you ever made vows or agreements with somebody in effort to strengthen the relationship or commit yourself to each other?
My best friend from the above and I promised to be married and always love each other....I've made many promises.
7. Do you see any ungodly relationships in your past where gifts were exchanged? (Are you holding onto something that was given to you from somebody you had an adultery with, etc.)
Nope
8. Have you ever had ungodly relations with an animal?
That's kinda illegal, so nope, no relations with my cats or birds, I have a man for that o.o;
9. Do you have any pictures in your possession of somebody whom you may have an ungodly soul tie with? (A picture of you with somebody you had an adultery with, etc.)
I don't think so o.o;
Part IV: Relationship with parents
1. What do you think of your parents?
My father is exceedingly sensitive and immature and never around. My mother is batshit insane. My grandmother practically raised me and I love the hell outta that woman, she's the closest thing to an angel there is.
2. How would you explain your childhood?
Traumatic but I was the shy odd kid who never really got in trouble for anything but being late all the time. In high school I kinda came into myself and stood up for who I was and everyone either loved me, or literally threw rocks at me and called me a Satanist. There wasn't much of a grey area there. I was nice to everyone, went to prom both years and made pretty good grades. I was a teacher's pet for a while in high school. I was known for being the different one who stood up for her beliefs.
3. Where you close to your parents while growing up? If not, why?
I've always been quiet and to myself until after I moved out of the house....
4. How would you explain your relationship with your parents? Was it good, bad or very cold?
My dad and I don't speak and I have no idea why. He just stopped talking to me one day. My mother tries to be the 'perfect mom' to my face while stealing my identity and ruining my credit and basically taking advantage of me behind my back....she's messed up. My grandmother and I are very close.
5. Did you feel rejection from your parents?
More like hatred for being different
6. Was either of your parents overly passive or controlling?
My mother was very controlling, thats one reason why she's resented me- I have my own mind and beliefs from the start.....she can't manipulate me like she does everyone else.
7. Has either of your parents been divorced? Remarried? Are your parents divorced?
I was an illegitimate child. My mom has been divorced twice, my dad once.
8. How would you describe your relationship with your siblings growing up?
I didn't know about my half sister until I was 16.
Part V: Rejection and abuse
1. Were your parents married when you were conceived? Were you the right sex? Did your parents not want you, or want you to be different (gender, etc.) in any way? If so, explain.
No, see the above. My mom wanted a girl and thats what she got. But she wanted someone just like her...and I'm very different.
2. Did you feel rejected as a child? As an adult? If so, by whom? Explain.
I don't care if people reject me, I'm not here to please people.
3. Did you face abuse? What kind (emotional, physical, sexual, etc.) and by whom?
I've suffered years of emotional abuse but like I said it made me stronger. I learned from it.
4. Have you faced rejection from your peers, classmates, friends or those around you?
Yes, for being a animal activist, not hunting or partying, and dressing differently...and for being pagan and liberal. I live in Alabama, you can see the picture here.
5. Have you ever been put down, belittled, or made fun of? If so, by whom? Explain.
Just like everyone else. I was never popular and never wanted to be, those things are superficial.
6. If you have faced rejection or abuse, how did you respond? Do you feel you are still paying a price for it? If so, how?
I just crawled inside myself.
7. How do you respond to rejection right now?
I just laugh and shake my head. I'm used to being the bad guy for nothing. I truly believe that thats the other persons problem though, they feel threatened by me.
8. Do you reject yourself (self-rejection)? If so, why and in what ways?
I respect who I am, although I have flaws just like everyone
Part VI: Unforgiveness or bitterness
1. Is there anybody you feel edgy around? (Don't like them, feel anything in your heart against them, etc.)
I feel bad vibes around people who aren't trustworthy.
2. Do you have anything against anybody? In other words, is there anybody that you have a hard time demonstrating the love of Christ to?
Uh, I have a hard time communicating with Christians that don't respect my religion as a legitimate one.
3. Has anybody wronged you that you haven't forgiven from your heart (thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc.)?
I don't hold it against them but I'll never forget.
4. How do your view your siblings, parents, coworkers, etc.? Do you have any hard feelings against them?
I view them as just being there, don't pay too much attention.
5. Do you make a habit of blaming yourself for everything? Do you obsess over your mistakes and feel unusually guilty for them?
I have a habit of saying I'm sorry too much but I don't stress over stuff for long
6. Do you deeply regret things that you've done in your past? Could you kick yourself over something you've done in your past? If so, explain.
I've done some kinda crappy things in the past, and sure, wish I could change them, like times I was mean to my sweet little grandmother or hurt an ex boyfriend but....everyone has those things.
Part VII: Personality
1. Are you a very positive or negative person?
depends on my mood
2. Do you feel confident in yourself? If so, why?
Yes. I stand up for my religion and my veganism in the Bible Belt where all people know how to do is hunt and fish. I involve myself in causes and speak my mind, I'm proud of myself.
3. Do you have a low self esteem? If so, why?
Sometimes I feel I am ugly....but thats normal for a woman in the culture of "you must be 5'9 and skinny as hell, wearing nothing to be pretty" bullshit.
4. Are you domineering or controlling? If so, to whom, and in what ways? Why?
I'm the leader of the household but I don't push that hard.
5. Are you an achiever? (A go-getter) If so, in what ways?
LOL not at ALL
6. Do you feel that you are always right and that if everybody did everything your way, this world would be a better place to live?
I'm a Capricorn. I'm always right
7. How do you treat your children? Husband? Are you controlling, passive, etc.?
No kids, just cats, and thats how it should be.
8. Do you like people to 'look at you' (as in receive attention)?
I'm kinda shy but sure, even though it makes me blush.
Part VIII: Emotional health
1. Do you strive to feel accepted? If so, how does this affect your lifestyle? By whom do you want to feel accepted?
No, people can fuck off if they don't like who I am.
2. Are you always stressed out? If so, why?
I'm pretty easy going.
3. Do you feel hurt? If so, by whom/what and why?
Like I've said, there are many ghosts in my past and my boyfriend can be an ass sometimes and work is shitty but I don't hold onto it, I just try and smile and hope for the best.
4. Do you feel good about yourself? If not, why?
I have my faults but yes.
5. Do you feel depressed? If so, why? When did it start? Did your parents or grandparents struggle with depression? If so, then do you know when it started and why? Do you have siblings who are also struggling? Do you feel your depression is rational or irrational?
It runs in my family, I have my moments. I struggle with it but I rise above it.
6. Do you struggle with fears? If so, what is it that you fear? (Fear of heights, dying, being hopeless, failure, never marrying, etc.)
I have a bunch of strange phobias. I can't stand to have the undersides of my wrists touched. I'm afraid of needles and doctors and hospitals and death and rotting corpses and ect, o.o;
7. Do you worry about things? What things do you worry about? Why?
I'm very poor and sickly a lot. I worry about my health and where I'll be in 10 years. I worry about my grandmother who is sick these days. I worry about my mother, ect. It's all normal.
8. Do you struggle with anger? Do you have a short temper?
I'm easy going until you push me too far.
9. Do you have any insecurities? If so, explain.
Well, I'm a small girl, sometimes wish I was more super-modelesque
10. Do you feel any self-pity or feel sorry for yourself? Have you ever felt this? If so, why?
Everyone has at some point when life sucks
11. Do you find it easy to hate people? If so, over what kinds of things would a person have to do to make you hate them?
Sometimes. I don't like people who breed animals when there are tons of shelter animals that need homes, or have like 8 kids when there are kids that need adoptions ( but nooo, abortions aer bad /eyeroll) I hate hunters and animal abusers of ignorant people spouting bullshit about stuff they don't understand
like right wingers talking about Obama. I can't stand spoiled kids or people that discriminate about religion, sexuality, color, sex...oh god I have a lot of pet peeves.
12. Do you have any irrational feelings? If so, what are they?
I'm a woman who bleeds every month, of course I do.
13. Do you feel like something is wrong with you?
No.
14. Do you feel excessively guilty over anything? Is this a continual problem?
Nope
15. Are you very confused and forgetful? (Beyond the normal)
lol I'm absentminded, lose everything and are completely disorganised
16. Are you aware of any emotional wounds that have affected you?
I've already discussed this.
17. Have you ever been deeply embarrassed over something? What was it?
I'm an expert at making an idiot of myself
18. Have you been in or are currently experiencing very difficult (depressing) circumstances which may cause you to feel hopeless or depressed?
No more than normal
Part IX: Who are you in Christ? And how do you see God?
1. How do you explain your relationship with God?
I'm a pagan /eyeroll. I don't worship Yahweh- he's just an old mythical war-god used to subjugate women and control people
2. Do you feel you aren't good enough to meet His standards?
lmao if he was real he could kiss my ass
3. Do you see Him as a loving father, or a dictator?
the biblical god was a dictator for a reason. Read "When God was a Woman" by Merlin Stone
4. Do you believe that it's only by the Blood of Jesus that your sins are forgiven? Or do
you feel you need to earn your forgiveness in any way?
N/A
5. Do you feel God's love in your life?
N/A
6. Do you feel like your sins are forgiven? Or do you feel guilty?
N/A
7. Do you feel excessively guilty in everyday life?
N/A
8. Do you feel that doing good things, you earn God's love and acceptance?
N/A
9. Do you feel that God is angry or upset with you?
N/A
Part X: Spoken curses, vows & oaths
1. Have you ever spoken something negative about yourself that has came to past? For example: "I'm sick and tired..." or "If I don't quit typing, I'm going to get arthritis!"
Yeah
2. Has your parents, or those in authority over you spoken out a curse over you? For example: "You'll never amount to anything!" or "You'll never get out of debt" or "You're so dumb"
Yeah and they were wrong
3. Have you ever made a vow out of anger? If so, what? For example: "I'll never let anybody push me around again!" or "I'm never going to be hurt again!"
Of course, and I meant it
4. Have you ever wished to die? Have you ever said it?
When things were really rough yeah
5. If you have made any vows or oaths, what are they?
I don't remember
Part XI: Relationships
1. Do you have many friends? What kind of people are they?
I have a lot of friends, but only a few close ones, they ae good people of all sexuality and religions
2. Do you have a hard time trying to meet new people or make friends?
I'm very friendly
3. Are you socially outgoing or shy? If so, why?
'A little of both
4. How would you define your relationship with your spouse?
'I have a live in boyfriend of a year. 'We are complete opposites but we manage...although sometimes we just can't see eye to eye, there's a distance there
Part XII: Sexuality
1. Have you ever had unholy sex? What kind? (Fornication, adultery, sodomy, bestiality, with a child, etc.)
lmaooooo I've done some things that'd make your hair curl >_> But only with people I love. I don't do the whole one night stand thing, just not for me
2. Have you struggled with lust, fantasy or unholy sexual thoughts? If so, what kind?
No. Because I believe sex is sacred and holy.
3. Have you been attracted to pornography?
The human body is beautiful and sacred. I have no issues looking at nudes.
4. Do you have homosexual thoughts and desires? If so, have you acted upon those feelings?
I like who I like. I've kinda kissed a girl before, and been attracted to a few, but thats it
5. How do you feel about your sexuality? (Do you feel dirty about it, or do you feel it's a wonderful blessing that God's given you?)
I have some health problems these days that makes it hard to do some of those things. But like I've said, it's sacred. My body is the vessel of the goddess, and my lover the god, it's beautiful.
6. Do you withhold sex from your spouse or are you fidgety? Do you enjoy a healthy relationship with your spouse sexually? How does he or she react?
My lover is supportive of my feelings and always stops if I'm too sick to do things like that, he'd never make me do anything against my will.
7. Have you ever been raped or sexually abused?
No.
8. Have you ever woke up and felt a sexual presence with you? There are demons that imitate male and female functions, and stimulate their host (a person) sexually (beyond the normal 'wet dream').
No.
9. Do you struggle or have you struggled with masturbation?
It's a normal function lol. I like my electric boyfriend when my real one's being an ass.
10. Do you struggle or have you struggled with any other sexual related thoughts, desires, or bondages?
I once playfully struggled against my silk handcuffs, does that count? /eyelash flutter
11. Is there anything sexually that you are ashamed of?
I once slept with a complete asshole that I loved, I regret that.
Part XIII: Addictions
1. Do you have any addictions? If so, what kind? (Drugs, alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, TV, etc.) When did they start?
Caffiene and video games and cheese.
2. Did anybody else in your family (siblings, ancestors, etc.) have a struggle with any addictions? If so, what? Who?
My mother had troubles with drugs and alcohol, my grandmother w/ cigs
3. Have you ever had, or currently have any sort of obsession over anything? If so, what?
lol when I was a preteen
Part XIV: False religions
Examples of false religions: Buddhism, Hindu, Jehovah Witness, Mormonism, Christian Scientists, eastern religions, etc.
1. Have you ever been involved with any false religions? If so, why, when and how long? How do you feel about those beliefs now?
I don't consider my religion to be false...lol. I don't actively believe in any gods as much as I believe nature and life is a connected living breathing thing in it's entirety and it's sacred.
I'm kinda a more lighthearted Wiccan..
2. Have you ever been involved in any secret societies such as Freemasonry? If so, how deep were you involved?
No.
Part XV: The occult & Satanism
1. Have you ever shown interest in the occult? If so, in what ways? (Read up on it, dabbled in it, etc.)
For goddess's sake, the word occult JUST MEANS HIDDEN. I'm a witch. I do witchy things. Okay?
2. Do you still feel drawn or attracted to the occult?
It's a part of who I am
3. Have you had any interest in horror or thriller style movies or novels? Are you still attracted to these things?
Sure, they are good entertainment
4. Have you ever made a vow with the devil? If so, what?
I. Don't. Believe. in. the. Devil.
5. Married Satan?
Ew. red cawk.
6. Worshipped a demon or Satan?
See the above >_< Don't. believe.
7. Have you ever put a curse or spell on somebody?
hehe, dare to be silent.
8. Are you aware of any curses or spells placed on you? If so, what? Who did it?
I wouldn't know, witches don't usually speak about stuff like that
9. Dabbled with an Ouija board? If so, why?
lol I bought one then my mom refused to let me ever use it cause it was of teh debbil. LOL she hid it in a bag in the storage building.....because if Satan was all so powerful a garbage bag would stop it
10. Ever been a member of a coven (group of 13 witches)? Explain.
There were only 4 women.
11. Communicated with the dead? Explain.
No.
12. Told somebody's fortune or went to see a fortune teller? Explain.
I read tarot cards and do astrology charts for fun because I'm talented at it. Want one?
13. Ever read your horoscope?
I'm a Capricorn :3
14. Watched or been involved in a séance? Explain.
No.
15. Been involved or a victim of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA)? Explain.
No.
16. Been baptized into a false religion or any other evil baptism? If so, what were you baptized into? When?
lol I was baptized a Southern Baptist. That's about as evil as they come.
17. Have you ever had a spirit guide?
Nope
18. Have you ever been involved with meditation, yoga, karate, or related activities?
Meditation is good for you, I'd just hurt myself with karate....and Yoga feels good but I'm lazy
19. Were you or anybody in your family superstitious? If so, who?
lol my grandmother
20. Ever been involved in astral travel? (Out of body)
Of course.
21. If you have made any vows or oaths, what are they? Were there any sacrifices or rituals that was accompanied with them?
In some of my spells, yes
22. Have you ever made a blood pact before? If so, with whom (including persons, demons and Satan) and for what purpose?
I'm scared of blood D:
23. Have you ever partaken in automatic writing, automatic drawing or automatic painting?
lol no
24. Have you ever been involved in Yoga, transcendental meditation, or similar activities?
Didn't I already answer this?
25. Have you ever sought healing from a spiritual source other than Jesus Christ? (New age healing, energy healing, etc.)
Yes because these actions work....and are GOOD
26. Any other involvement in the occult? Explain.
I'm a witch from head to toe.
Part XVI: Un-confessed sins
1. Are there any un-confessed sins that you have not repented of? (Usually something you've done, that you know is wrong, but won't admit to it. An abortion, stealing, etc. are some examples.)
N/A
2. Is there anything you've been hiding inside that you haven't confessed?
Nope, I'm pretty open
3. Do you feel excessively guilty over some thing(s) you've done in the past? If so, what?
No.
Part XVII: Cursed objects
1. Do you have any idols, occult rings, or anything that could hold evil spiritual value in your home? If so, what? Any objects that hold evil spiritual value must be destroyed.
I have a beautiful alter dedicated to Artemis and Aphrodite, and a wonderful amber and jet pentacle necklace, those are my treasures.
2. Do you have any gifts saved from sinful relationships? If so, explain. For example, if a man gives a woman a personal gift during an adultery, that needs to be sold or destroyed.
I dunno
Part XVIII: Severe trauma, abuse & disassociation
1. Have you ever been exposed to extreme abuse or a traumatic experience? Did it have a drastic effect on your emotional or mental system? If so, what happen? How did it affect you?
I've explained this. My childhood was traumatic.
2. Have you ever disassociated or been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)?
No.
3. Are you aware of any alters (other personalities) that you may have? (If so, tell me about them)
No.
4. Do you have a memory gap where you cannot remember a certain time of your life?
Yes, I've blocked out some of the worst things that have happened vaguely
5. Do you have false memories of things that really didn't take place?
No.
6. Have you ever been in a car accident or other traumatic situation? Have you ever witnessed a tragedy in real life?
Yeah I got in a bad car wreck a couple years ago.
Part XIX: Weaknesses
1. Do you struggle with any habitual sins? If so, what? Do you want to break those bad habits?
I'm addicted to cheese whilst trying to be vegan D:
2. Do you struggle with any weaknesses such as lust, anger, hate, etc.? If so, what? Do you know where they came from or how they got started? Do you want to break free from those weaknesses?
Not really
Part XX: Pregnancy issues
1. Have you ever said something along the lines of, "I will never have children"?
lol yes, when people bring in crying screaming brats, or when I noticed how painful it looks. The times recently was when I realised it may be very dangerous for me to conceive, and there is an over population problem anyways so adoption is a better choice. I haven't decided what to do yet though.
2. Have you ever had an abortion or attempted one?
No.
3. Have you ever had incest or ungodly sexual relations with somebody related to you? (See Leviticus 20:19-21, as this can cause a curse to land upon you which needs to be broken)
Ew o.o; No
Part XXI: Other things to look for
1. Have you ever tried drugs? If so, how much, and how did it affect you? Why did you try drugs?
I'm very much AGAINST drug use.
2. Have you ever thought about or attempted suicide?
Yes.
3. Do you have any physical or mental disabilities, diseases or illnesses? Explain.
I am sickly a lot, my liver isn't completely healthy, I have some problems with my reproductive organs, I have a few other issues I don't wanna talk about. Other than that I'm a normal little girl. I'm finally a healthy weight for my size after years of being underweight because I was a preemie (7 mo.) woo! 5'3and 115!
4. Do you want, and are willing to be delivered? Are you willing to give up those demon spirits and maybe make some lifestyle changes in order to keep your deliverance?
I like who I am, and do not believe in demons.
5. Do you experience unusual confusion settle upon you as you try to pray and read the Bible?
I understand the Bible and I hate the messages it delievers. There are some good messages in there but people ignore those and just look for reasons to hate others.
6. What kind of music do you like? (Please list all styles of music you currently enjoy, and give examples in each category you list, such as some names of artists and songs)
I like a lot of different types of music, mostly alternative, love songs, Enya and Dido type stuff (what genre is that?) and metal/rock/goth stuff
7. Have you previously enjoyed hard rock, metal, acid, alternative, rap, new age, or any other kind of worldly music? (Please provide some examples of artists and songs from each genre (type/style) of music you list)
Yes....
8. Have you had any nightmares or weird experiences at night while supposedly sleeping?
Heh. Yes. But usually it's just reliving past stuff, or dealing with work stresses or relationship problems. As I've explained before.....I have divination dreams, sometimes scary, sometimes not.
9. Have you ever been in a trance or had an out of body experience?
Yes
10. Have you ever noticed time slipped right out from under you? For example, you look at your watch and it's 7:00pm, then you look again what seemed like 15 minutes later and it's 2:00am. This is a sign of a trance.
OH GOD YES LOL....thank you video games and good books. And like vana mentioned POKEMON OH GAWD LOL
11. Have you ever touched or kissed a dead body? If so, explain whom and why and what happened afterwards.
I kissed my dead grandfather's forehead and gave him my teddy bear at his funeral when I was 10.
12. Do you feel that you somehow have to earn your forgiveness? Do you 'wonder' if your sins are truly forgiven -- all of them? Are you aware of any signs of legalism or religious spirits operating in your mind?
N/A
13. Do you have any physical infirmities, sickness or diseases? If so, please list them.
I've explained this but I'm also nearsighted, I have hypoglycemia, and I get tired really easily, plus a slipped disk in my back
14. Are you on any medications? If so, please explain.
Nope.
15. Have you ever had any other kind of weird encounter with the spiritual realm?
ha not weird
This was too long D: Why did I even do this?