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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 18:56:40 GMT -5
*Dons clerical attire*
Come in my child, come in! I know something is burdening your heart. Confess your sins to Father Paradox.
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Mar 17, 2009 19:07:40 GMT -5
You're not gonna bad touch me, right?
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Post by MozMode on Mar 17, 2009 19:09:48 GMT -5
You're not gonna bad touch me, right? Lol. Good question though.
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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 19:15:04 GMT -5
You're not gonna bad touch me, right? Worry not my child, the confessional booth is made of sturdy wood. The kind that comes from a tree, mind you. I couldn't touch you if I wanted too.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 17, 2009 19:17:54 GMT -5
You're not gonna bad touch me, right? If you feel anything painful, that's just the light of Christ penetrating you (Couldn't help it)
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Post by Distind on Mar 17, 2009 19:24:12 GMT -5
You're not gonna bad touch me, right? If you feel anything painful, that's just the light of Christ penetrating you (Couldn't help it) Bless me father for I have sinned, My immediate reaction to reading the quoted post was to start humming "Jesus loves the little children".
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Post by cosmopants on Mar 17, 2009 19:39:09 GMT -5
Forgive me Father, for I have committed the sin of gluttony - last week I made enough pancake mix for four people, and I eated all the pancakes myself in one go, and I couldn't do a poo for ages. And I'm not even sorry
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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 19:39:48 GMT -5
If you feel anything painful, that's just the light of Christ penetrating you (Couldn't help it) Bless me father for I have sinned, My immediate reaction to reading the quoted post was to start humming "Jesus loves the little children". Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Say fifteen Hail Marys while dangling upside-down from a set of monkey bars.
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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 19:40:03 GMT -5
Forgive me Father, for I have committed the sin of gluttony - last week I made enough pancake mix for four people, and I eated all the pancakes myself in one go, and I couldn't do a poo for ages. And I'm not even sorry I can't very well absolve you if you won't repent, now can I?
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Post by Vene on Mar 17, 2009 19:49:50 GMT -5
Forgive me Father for I have sinned, or haven't today. I have so far neglected to masturbate. Or, should I say that I did that last night? I don't know if you're impersonating a Catholic priest or if this is a function of Teh Guild. I can for sure that I'm sorry about one and promise to repent tonight.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 17, 2009 19:54:41 GMT -5
Forgive me, Father Paradox, for I have sinned. I fancy girls and boys just the same. Please forgive me for my sexually perverted sin.
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Post by Vene on Mar 17, 2009 19:56:31 GMT -5
Forgive me, Father Paradox, for I have sinned. I fancy girls and boys just the same. Please forgive me for my sexually perverted sin. That reminds me. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I am jealous of bisexuals.
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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 19:58:21 GMT -5
Forgive me Father for I have sinned, or haven't today. I have so far neglected to masturbate. Or, should I say that I did that last night? I don't know if you're impersonating a Catholic priest or if this is a function of Teh Guild. I can for sure that I'm sorry about one and promise to repent tonight. I swing both ways. All right... Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Say the Lord's Prayer five times and try not to think about sex or pink elephants. OR Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Redhunter, et Redhunter again, et Redhunter once more. Jack off twice and bring His Redness some porn. Lesbians are preferred. Redheaded lesbians.
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Post by wisechild on Mar 17, 2009 20:00:29 GMT -5
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Post by Paradox on Mar 17, 2009 20:00:54 GMT -5
Forgive me, Father Paradox, for I have sinned. I fancy girls and boys just the same. Please forgive me for my sexually perverted sin. Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Pray two decades on a rosary and conform to the unachievable hetronormative standards imposed on you by our homophobic society.
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