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Post by Jebediah on Apr 9, 2009 19:39:11 GMT -5
(OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) The entire thing was hilarious, but this part made me laugh out loud.
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Post by catanon on May 31, 2009 20:12:35 GMT -5
I like short creepypasta the best:
"One night a generic, white, heterosexual guy who listened to everything his parents told him went out one night to get some milk for his cat FiFi McFluffington. When the guy approached the clerk with his newly acquired milk the clerk turned around. The clerk, a generic black, homosexual, cross dresser, grabbed the guy and raped him. The only evidence that this ever happened is an empty bottle of lube and a dead cat."
Don't ask me where I found that. After reading I washed my eyes out with bleach.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on May 31, 2009 21:41:03 GMT -5
I was born.
You're all going to die one day.
There is no afterlife.
I'm fapping right now.
If none of these statements managed to invoke a disturbed reaction in you, the internet has eaten your soul.
Edit: Also, this thread needs [glow=red,2,300]MOAR CREEPYPASTA![/glow]
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Post by tygerarmy on Jun 1, 2009 14:17:50 GMT -5
The Lazy One's dream one was my favorite so far. Just because I used to have nightmares then I started dreaming Lucidly and controlled them. Just waiting to become one with the darkness now.
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Post by Old Viking on Jun 1, 2009 15:23:56 GMT -5
I find it edifying to watch paint dry.
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Post by Ian1732 on Jun 11, 2009 21:17:07 GMT -5
I've got a few twists on classic Creepypastas... I'll get them out now.
Babysitter home with young boy and young girl. She get call parents, who are working night shift in factory asking if everything is fine. She tells them da, but the large statue of Lenin in daughter's room is unsettling.
Later, she is arrested by KGB for calling great father of motherland "unsettling". She is sent to count trees in Siberia.
Such is life in Moscow.
A couple was sitting in movie theater watching scary movie, and the woman no having a good time. She’d very bored and no have vodka. It was very late showing, and everyone to poor to go to movies. About an hour into movie, she feel a drop on her hand.
Ignoring it, she quickly shake off feeling and watch the movie, trying to enjoy it. Another drop land on her hand and furious now, she hit her boyfriend, thinking that he been spitting on her like common whore. He doesn’t move. She pushes him harder this time, throwing in some obscenities, and to her horror, a red line that she hadn’t noticed until now, and she realize he been poisoned with polonium for insulting comrade Khrushchev.
Horrified, she let out silent scream and that’s when she feels the drip again. She look up, and there hole in ceiling, theater no can afford to fix.
Your phone rings, and it's a number you don't recognize. You pick up the phone regardless. The voice say "Can I have five minutes of your time?" You answer "Fuck off American pig, smart Russian not so easily fooled."
You feel itch in your throat.
You try cough it out, but it just won't come.
You struggle and forcing yourself to vomit. You drink lots of vodka, but whatever it is, its just stuck there.
You go see doctor and he say you have tuberculosis, you die next week, your family no can afford funeral. Such is life in Russia.
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Post by spaniel on Jun 12, 2009 14:22:53 GMT -5
But, but SCP Foundation! Sorry for the tl;dr.
Item #: SCP-882
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-882 is to be kept in a fluid environment at all times, consisting of no less than 40% seawater. Object is to be kept suspended by non-metallic means, currently cotton fiber line that is to be changed daily. Object is also to be checked daily for any signs of rust flaking. If any part of SCP-882 appears uncoated with rust, it must immediately be immersed in a 100% seawater solution. Water must be taken directly from the ocean. Reduce concentration only when the object is again coated in rust.
No metal may be placed in containment area. Only organic materials are allowed in containment area, and any contact with SCP-882 requires the use of thick cotton gloves. Any metal making contact with it is to be heat-severed, melted down and kept immersed in 100% seawater in a separate area.
Any auditory issues reported by staff must be reported immediately, and affected personnel must submit to a full psychological examination and, depending on results, either transfer to another facility or permanent containment at [EXPUNGED].
Description:
SCP-882 was recovered from a location at the north-east coast of Banks Island. Area was barren of all metal and metallic ore in a one mile radius. SCP-882 was found at the geometric center of the area. SCP-882 had become submerged in seawater at the time of discovery. A small town was found nearby, abandoned for several years. SCP-882 was removed, and shortly started to flake off rust, causing the varied parts to begin motion. After several accidents, SCP-882 was cut down and contained on site.
SCP-882 appears to be a random assembly of gears, cables, pulleys, screws and belts, all made of a amalgam of various metals. Object's size at time of recovery was approximately eighty-seven cubic meters. Current size is approximately twelve cubic meters. SCP-882 rusts quickly in seawater. No identifiable energy source has been found, but all components will begin to move if not coated in rust. SCP-882 is completely silent at all times, no matter what level of activity SCP-882 reaches.
Any metal touching the object will become permanently affixed to it, and over a period of a few days becomes a new part of the object. Organic matter remains unaffected. SCP-882 is extremely resilient, with tensile strength and toughness above those of aircraft grade titanium alloy by weight, even though its composition appears to be a random alloy of iron, tin, gold and other metals, some as of yet unidentified. Extreme, focused heat must be applied over several hours to cut even a small portion free of the main assembly.
Persons remaining in the vicinity of the object for prolonged periods have developed auditory hallucinations while near the object, mainly the sound of grinding and clicking. The sound intensifies, and is abated only by throwing metal into the object. Subjects in advanced states of psychosis have thrown themselves into the object, resulting in almost instant death by crushing. The body is often drawn in, and impossible to recover.
Note: SCP-882 is not to be brought into the vicinity of SCP-271 or any subject possibly contaminated by SCP-217.
The Harvested Man Item: SCP-415
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-415 is to be kept in human-class living quarters, with freedom of movement, although a guard by the door should note his coming and going in a log book. Requests for luxuries should be met if reasonable, provided they do not compromise Foundation security. This policy should continue as long as SCP-415 remains cooperative, as he has been voluntarily committed. Personnel interacting with SCP-415 show a particular risk of succumbing to sympathetical or emotional attachment. To avoid this, examinations and mental health sessions should be conducted frequently among such staff (as per psychological guidelines chapters 3-5). However, this need not be focussed upon preventing assisted escape attempts, unless SCP-415 becomes uncooperative.
Description: SCP-415 is a 176.9 centimeter tall Caucasian male of 36 years. He has blue eyes and brown hair (slightly receded), and at first glance appears to be a normal human. Subject exhibits an average IQ and a relatively stable personality, aside from post-traumatic stress disorder and a slight guilt-complex (see Document 415-C). He is cooperative with on-site staff, though is nervous around medical wards and people with lab coats.
SCP-415 possesses regenerative healing abilities, though only in the form of tissue and organ regrowth. This ability is most pronounced concerning his internal organs, particularly the liver, spleen, pancreas, and colon. However, his regeneration applies to all tissues and fluids in his body, including his skin, gray matter, nervous system, and skeleton. Subject can survive for long durations without large pieces of his heart or lungs, which have been shown to regrow in three months, at most. However, he is still vulnerable to sickness, radiation, and other ailments not involving direct tissue damage or blood loss.
More worthy of note, SCP-415's body has undergone several radical alterations by an unknown third party. Subject has had several zippers surgically installed on his body: One curved from his left armpit to the skin over his stomach, one centered directly over his heart, and two smaller ones, parallel to each other on his gut. In addition:
* Most of his torso is only covered by a loose flap of skin that can be lifted at any time, and is currently pinned on by three safety pins and a sewing button.
* He is covered in numerous scars, most which seem very old, but in some places are still unhealed. Several long lines of stitches have been done crudely with thick black thread, raising the surface of his skin by more than a centimeter in some places. One particularly noticeable stitching begins on the small of his back and continues up his side until his fourth rib, where it then passes over the neck and forks into two branches ending on the shoulders. In an accident when he was struck with some force and this stitching was severed, his entire left side ripped open and almost all his internal organs spilled out. There appears to be evidence that this stitching has been undone and resown repeatedly.
* Attached to his spine is a small wheel that can be turned by a handle, resembling a meat grinder. When cranked, a thick gray fluid comes out of a facet connected to the device. After intense pain exhibited by SCP-413 on use, it was found that this was the bones in his spine, his nerves, and the neuron links all combined, crushed, and mixed together to resemble paste. Research into this mechanism's workings is in progress.
* Implanted in his rib cage near the base of his ribs are metal hinges, four on each side. Investigation with x-rays leads us to believe that they were designed for a machine which would piece the skin, locking into specific notches to open his abdomen.
* Much like the rib implants, there is a steel lining inserted in between the solid bones of the skull. If a sharp object like a scalpel or knife was slid through, and some pressure applied, the structure would allow the top of his skull to be removed.
* The occipital bones surrounding his left eye have been crushed and remolded in a way that creates a small inward decline, allowing the removable of his eyeball by applying some leverage with a rod-like tool. This can be done without damaging the organ significantly.
Addendum 415-01: SCP-415 had been in a state of movement across the United States for approximately two and a half years, allegedly hitchhiking, staying in the wilderness, and living sporadically in small towns. Although no full record of his activities exists, information from interviews and first hand civilian reports have provided a partial travel map. He was first sighted in New England fleeing along the east coast of the US, then traveled almost directly into the heart of the Midwest before wandering in a rough circle around that area, participating in farm work and manual labor. According to SCP-415, he was running from an organization that was hunting him; presumably to sell his organs on the black market. The Foundation came in contact with SCP-415 after he turned himself in to the FBI, asking for protection from a group he seems to believe is beyond the power of normal law enforcement. An associate brought this case to the Foundation's attention, and SCP-415 accompanied agents to Site 17 with no resistance.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Jun 12, 2009 15:36:27 GMT -5
Whoever wrote the one about SCP-415 did not do the research. The Occipital bone is in the back of your head. The ethmoid, lacrimal, sphenoid, frontal, zygomatic, & maxilla bones all surround the eye. How he chose practically the only bone in the cranium that does not, at some point, touch the eye sockets is beyond me.
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Post by spaniel on Jun 12, 2009 20:53:08 GMT -5
Well Lithp, the thing is written by random internet schmucks, so that should tell you something right there.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Jun 18, 2009 18:42:04 GMT -5
Well Lithp, the thing is written by random internet schmucks, so that should tell you something right there. How hard is it to go to Wikipedia & type "skull"? Moreover, how can you not get it right out of sheer probability? Edit: Hey, Spaniel, what's "SCP foundation"? Are there more of those?
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Post by spaniel on Jun 18, 2009 18:51:32 GMT -5
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Jun 18, 2009 19:14:29 GMT -5
You can just call me Lithp, if you want. The "Advent" thing is both tying in with my avatar & a word for "second coming," refering to Jesus.
Edit: So, it's kinda like the Holders series, only less "creepy apocalypse" & more "freaky paranormal shit"?
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Post by Sigmaleph on Jun 18, 2009 19:25:24 GMT -5
Pretty much. The SCP's themselves are usually interesting, if a bit of a dry read because of the required tone. The stories based on them (that I've read so far) are rather good.
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Post by katz on Jun 20, 2009 15:47:01 GMT -5
I actually really like the "brief style" stories. It reminds me of a project our generally insane Bio 11 teacher had us do. She was a huge, huge fan of most paranormal stuff but in particular loved X Fiiles because everything that was seemingly impossible had some sort of explanation. She'd give us files as our projects of seemingly paranormal diseases/people/places/events/etc. and we'd have to use SCIENCE (she said it all in caps somehow, I think her button was on her shoulder) to explain it rationally (we were allowed any and all credible resources). There was always more than one right answer, too; as long as it fit and was technically possible (or might be technically possible soon), you passed.
The briefs for objects and people often looked a lot like the SCPs.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Jun 20, 2009 21:13:55 GMT -5
That's awesome. I wish I had that teacher.
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