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Post by Jack Bauer on Dec 22, 2011 10:51:24 GMT -5
Granted - you start a new job with Fox Network News which involves giving presenters advice on how to handle polemic diatribe when it occurs during a live interview. This becomes as welcome as Obama at a KKK meeting and one of the frontmen pulls out his piece and wastes you. He then shoots you...
I wish that sushi chef would stop wanking over my sashimi!
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Post by Art Vandelay on Dec 22, 2011 11:12:32 GMT -5
Granted, he starts defecating in your shower instead.
I wish for coffee.
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Dec 23, 2011 9:14:28 GMT -5
Granted, it's decaf.
I wish I could extend and retract my nails at will.
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Post by brendanrizzo on Dec 23, 2011 10:07:53 GMT -5
Granted. The ability to do this is completely useless, but now you need more energy intake because of muscles now attached to your fingernails.
I wish that digital pirates talked like, well, pirates.
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Dec 23, 2011 11:01:00 GMT -5
Granted, they now speak in Somali.
I wish I had a money tree.
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Post by Sigmaleph on Dec 23, 2011 12:02:19 GMT -5
Granted, it only sprouts 10 pengő bills (About 2.7*10^-29 USD) I wish all hypnosis worked exactly as advertised.
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Post by brendanrizzo on Dec 23, 2011 14:22:37 GMT -5
Granted. A criminal mastermind uses it to create an army of completely-loyal slaves.
I wish that those "free-trade" farmers in Burkina Faso who use child slave labor will get there comeuppance.
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Post by Her3tiK on Dec 28, 2011 14:32:22 GMT -5
Granted. A criminal mastermind uses it to create an army of completely-loyal slaves. I wish that those "free-trade" farmers in Burkina Faso who use child slave labor will get there comeuppance. Granted, now all these children have no income and their families starve to death. I wish for Stephen Colbert to run for president.
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Post by Undecided on Dec 28, 2011 17:13:35 GMT -5
Granted. He gets assassinated by authoritarian reactionaries.
I wish for a bushel of parsnips.
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