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Post by Sandafluffoid on Mar 25, 2009 15:23:08 GMT -5
"You're only an atheist because you where abused by a catholic priest when you were younger."
I've only ever met one catholic priest, and then only in a crowded room at least 5 metres away from him. I guess that must mean I'm not an atheist, but I'm still nto a christian. Guess I must be a muslim.
Bu wait, "atheism is jsut anotehr form of Islam" so I can't posibly be a muslim because I was never molestered! It hurts my branes!
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ouabache
Junior Member
Official Pope
Posts: 73
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Post by ouabache on Mar 25, 2009 15:35:02 GMT -5
The Argument from Design is always funny because they end up sounding like pot heads:
Man, everything is, like, so complicated that there has to be a God. Look at how complicated that tree over there is. Whoa, dude! Have you ever looked at the back of your hand?
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 25, 2009 15:38:05 GMT -5
"You're only an atheist because you where abused by a catholic priest when you were younger." I've only ever met one catholic priest, and then only in a crowded room at least 5 metres away from him. I guess that must mean I'm not an atheist, but I'm still nto a christian. Guess I must be a muslim. Bu wait, "atheism is jsut anotehr form of Islam" so I can't posibly be a muslim because I was never molestered! It hurts my branes! I remember that quote from the mainpage some years ago--the one about how 'new research' has proven that atheists are just another sect of Islam or... something. It won 'Best Quote of the Year', I think. I've never heard "You're only an atheist because a Catholic priest molested you!" before--that's a new one, at least to me...
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Post by peanutfan on Mar 25, 2009 16:00:58 GMT -5
"God doesn't believe in atheists."
I like this one for the sheer arrogance of declaring that an entire section of the population just doesn't exist. Kinda like that Palestinian politician who claimed that there are no homosexuals in Palestine.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 25, 2009 17:17:27 GMT -5
"God doesn't believe in atheists." I like this one for the sheer arrogance of declaring that an entire section of the population just doesn't exist. Kinda like that Palestinian politician who claimed that there are no homosexuals in Palestine. I always tell those people that if God doesn't believe in atheists that just means I'm safe.
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Post by Vene on Mar 25, 2009 17:21:35 GMT -5
"God doesn't believe in atheists." I like this one for the sheer arrogance of declaring that an entire section of the population just doesn't exist. Kinda like that Palestinian politician who claimed that there are no homosexuals in Palestine. I thought that was Iran.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 25, 2009 17:25:18 GMT -5
"God doesn't believe in atheists." I like this one for the sheer arrogance of declaring that an entire section of the population just doesn't exist. Kinda like that Palestinian politician who claimed that there are no homosexuals in Palestine. I thought that was Iran. Yeah that was Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran: (Off topic but I hate that scumfuck...)
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 25, 2009 17:29:46 GMT -5
"God doesn't believe in atheists." I like this one for the sheer arrogance of declaring that an entire section of the population just doesn't exist. Kinda like that Palestinian politician who claimed that there are no homosexuals in Palestine. I thought that was Iran. Psshh--didn't you know, there are not homosexuals ANYWHERE. Homosexuals don't REALLY exist, it's just a liberal conspiracy designed to force us to accept sexual depravity like same-sex marriage, pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, and orgies.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 25, 2009 17:33:24 GMT -5
Psshh--didn't you know, there are not homosexuals ANYWHERE. Homosexuals don't REALLY exist, it's just a liberal conspiracy designed to force us to accept sexual depravity like same-sex marriage, pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, and orgies. Hmph! I've never been so insulted in all my life! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have sex with the dead bodies of a bunch of mares while some other people watch and/or participate....
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Post by Caitshidhe on Mar 25, 2009 17:44:42 GMT -5
Hmph! I've never been so insulted in all my life! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have sex with the dead bodies of a bunch of mares while some other people watch and/or participate.... Save me a seat, I'll be there in an hour--I just have to pack up my fuzzy handcuffs and my whip.
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Post by malendras on Mar 25, 2009 19:04:04 GMT -5
Favorite anti-atheist argument? The "convert or you'll go to hell" argument. No arguing or scripture-quoting or anything, just an insistence I'm going to hell if I die. "Well, you're young, one day you'll see the light and come home to rest in the arms of baby jaysus! I hope you don't die before that happens. Quick, get to the converting!" It's pretty funny when they get all stuck-up with it and start going on about how they're "saved". "Well, I'm SAVED, and I'm going to HEAVEN when I die. You're gonna burn in HELL, because you're a SINNER. I'm a sinner too, but noone's perfect, and I'm FORGIVEN." I love it because there's no arguing - not even attempting to debate or prove their point. It's just this smug arrogance that they're right, I'm wrong, end of story.
As for anti-evolution arguments, someone once told me the Earth couldn't be older than 6000 years old because all the water at the top of waterfalls would've fallen down by now.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 25, 2009 20:10:44 GMT -5
Hmph! I've never been so insulted in all my life! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have sex with the dead bodies of a bunch of mares while some other people watch and/or participate.... Save me a seat, I'll be there in an hour--I just have to pack up my fuzzy handcuffs and my whip. Oh baby ;D
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 25, 2009 20:14:37 GMT -5
You mean like Pascal's Wager?
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Post by ironbite on Mar 25, 2009 21:06:52 GMT -5
Hmph! I've never been so insulted in all my life! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to have sex with the dead bodies of a bunch of mares while some other people watch and/or participate.... Save me a seat, I'll be there in an hour--I just have to pack up my fuzzy handcuffs and my whip. I had to barrow your fuzzy handcuffs so I could go play some games with this 14 year old girl scout who's my wife. Ironbite-I left a note.
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Gray
New Member
Posts: 41
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Post by Gray on Mar 25, 2009 22:15:56 GMT -5
Here's the one I get from my mother all the time, so naturally it makes my blood boil:
"If you don't find God, you'll never be happy."
And by God she means any god. The woman practically begged me to become Buddhist once. Anything but the dreaded atheism.
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