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Post by perv on Apr 18, 2010 1:20:12 GMT -5
Second only to lightning strikes, volcanoes have always been recognized as a sure sign of an angry god. But that leaves two important questions: Which god? And what is he angry about?
To answer those question I have scoured both news reports about Iceland and holy scripture from various world religions.
From the news, the standouts (before the eruption itself) were the nation's bankruptcy, it's new lesbian prime minister, and a recent ban on strippers.
Although many religions have problems with homosexuality, and more than a few discourage fiscal irresponsibility only one prominently features one of those things and volcanoes. The answer is plain, the Flying Spaghetti Monster has smitten Iceland for banning strippers. I also note that excepting some micronations (like Vatican City) Iceland was the first country in the EU to pass such a law. Doubtless this means the ash cloud extending across Europe can be taken as a warning.
So yeah. Repent and stuff.
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Apr 18, 2010 6:57:22 GMT -5
Say three Hail Mary's and then tuck a five in her g-string?
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Post by The_L on Apr 18, 2010 6:57:27 GMT -5
lol Yes. Unban strippers, Iceland! OR THE FSM WILL GET YOU!!  |
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Post by perv on Apr 18, 2010 22:28:58 GMT -5
Say three Hail Mary's and then tuck a five in her g-string? I donno, this is pretty serious. They may have to "sacrifice" a virgin too... while dressed as pirates. |
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Post by Thejebusfire on Apr 19, 2010 0:17:32 GMT -5
Say three Hail Mary's and then tuck a five in her g-string? Pretty much. |
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Post by malicious_bloke on Apr 19, 2010 4:42:18 GMT -5
I think it is quite clear to us all that this situation is God's punishment for homosexuality
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on Apr 19, 2010 7:55:48 GMT -5
Doesn't matter anyway. In a country of 200,000 if you start taking off your clothes for money EVERYONE knows.
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Post by Old Viking on Apr 20, 2010 15:51:57 GMT -5
This is just a warm-up. There's a volcano eight miles from theonewiththebiglongname. Historically it has always provided a follow-up show. The experts say if this sequence holds true the larger volcano will erupt with up to 100 times the force. Whee!
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Evil Stoat Ferreter
New Member
It is not fair. I do not eat sheep but they all hate me just because I am Welsh.
Posts: 33
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Post by Evil Stoat Ferreter on Apr 20, 2010 16:26:37 GMT -5
By Gad, "Perv" is right.
The UK has recently introduced laws restricting the spread of lap dancing clubs (they were opening in convents, schools, dentists surgerys etc).
No sooner has the ink dried on the Act then we get hit with a load of ash from Ejacubollox.
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Post by Ian1732 on Apr 20, 2010 18:50:01 GMT -5
Wow, fundies are blaming it on a Lesbian Prime ministe--wait, a ban on WHAT!!??!
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Post by big_electron on Apr 20, 2010 20:35:39 GMT -5
Nobody outside Iceland knows how to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull."
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Post by Vene on Apr 20, 2010 20:40:49 GMT -5
Nobody outside Iceland knows how to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull." |
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Post by Jedi Knight on Apr 21, 2010 10:38:41 GMT -5
Nobody outside Iceland knows how to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull." I do. |
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Post by dasfuchs on Apr 21, 2010 11:36:01 GMT -5
Nobody outside Iceland knows how to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull." Not our fault they gave it a name that looks like someone stuffed an alphabet in a blender |
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Evil Stoat Ferreter
New Member
It is not fair. I do not eat sheep but they all hate me just because I am Welsh.
Posts: 33
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Post by Evil Stoat Ferreter on Apr 21, 2010 14:16:18 GMT -5
Nobody outside Iceland knows how to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull." Not our fault they gave it a name that looks like someone stuffed an alphabet in a blender It translates as "eat my ash, British suckers ! " |
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