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Post by clockworkgirl21 on Jun 12, 2010 21:18:27 GMT -5
My fundie uncle helped me move my furniture to my new house, and I was going to pay for the gas and for his time spent helping. He said instead of getting paid, he'd rather I attended church every Sunday for a month, in an attempt to save my soul. Since I'm pretty poor, I agreed.
Tips on surviving a Catholic church service?
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Post by Vene on Jun 12, 2010 22:13:41 GMT -5
Drugs
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Post by m52nickerson on Jun 12, 2010 22:26:42 GMT -5
My fundie uncle helped me move my furniture to my new house, and I was going to pay for the gas and for his time spent helping. He said instead of getting paid, he'd rather I attended church every Sunday for a month, in an attempt to save my soul. Since I'm pretty poor, I agreed. Tips on surviving a Catholic church service? Catholic mass is not that bad. Most of the time it is only 30-45 minutes long.
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veca
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by veca on Jun 12, 2010 22:38:39 GMT -5
Bring a small sketchpad to draw on - even if it's just stick figures. Draw stick figures going at it if you're feeling more diabolical. It will look like your taking notes to most of the people there. Not to mention a small 2x3in sketchpad fits nicely in your pocket.
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Jun 12, 2010 22:43:23 GMT -5
Tetris.
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Post by Mira on Jun 12, 2010 22:43:56 GMT -5
Me and my brother use to always draw and write notes to each other during church. Was a good waste of time.
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Post by Her3tiK on Jun 12, 2010 23:38:56 GMT -5
Recite Slayer lyrics in your head. Trace pentagrams instead of the cross when they do that "father, son, holy ghost" thing. Kept me sane when I was in your situation.
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Post by Jodie on Jun 13, 2010 0:32:04 GMT -5
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Post by Rime on Jun 13, 2010 4:28:09 GMT -5
I've never found anything more edifying for my atheism than listening to a Catholic priest. Especially one that likes to mention miracles as proof of God's presence.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Jun 13, 2010 4:38:55 GMT -5
Turn up naked. Then you'll have the perfect excuse for not going, i.e. banned from the church.
failing that, drugs are good too.
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Post by canadian mojo on Jun 13, 2010 7:39:39 GMT -5
Look at all the pretty architecture, artwork, and people of whatever gender(s) you fancy. Pick apart the sermons (in your head). Fall asleep with your eyes open.
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Bigg
Junior Member
Posts: 94
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Post by Bigg on Jun 13, 2010 9:13:49 GMT -5
Id usually just sleep, pissed my mom off when Id nod out while kneeling.
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Post by acooper on Jun 13, 2010 9:25:09 GMT -5
I suggest to claim that you're ill every Sunday and that you can't go to the church ...
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Jun 13, 2010 10:01:38 GMT -5
Hiss and fall to the ground when you enter the church, screaming, "It burns, it burns!" Bonus points if you can find a way to make it look like your skin is smoking.
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Jun 13, 2010 10:10:50 GMT -5
Hiss and fall to the ground when you enter the church, screaming, "It burns, it burns!" Bonus points if you can find a way to make it look like your skin is smoking. A cleverly-ventilated jacket and irrigation system, and some dry ice.
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