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Post by the sandman on Jun 13, 2010 10:44:11 GMT -5
What kind of Catholic church? Pre or Post Vatican II?
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Post by matante on Jun 13, 2010 12:58:49 GMT -5
Hiss and fall to the ground when you enter the church, screaming, "It burns, it burns!" Bonus points if you can find a way to make it look like your skin is smoking. A cleverly-ventilated jacket and irrigation system, and some dry ice. While you're at it, get that magic blood powder (a tan powder that turns red when wet) and put it under your eyes. If you can't shed tears on demand, bring a box of tiger balm, smelling the vapors should do. Whatever sho you put, crying blood can only make it better! ;D
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Post by Old Viking on Jun 13, 2010 15:23:29 GMT -5
When I was a boy Mass always brought out my piety. I'd think, "Sweet Jesus, will this never end?"
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Post by big_electron on Jun 13, 2010 16:56:58 GMT -5
What kind of Catholic church? Pre or Post Vatican II? What is Vatican II?
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Post by Rime on Jun 13, 2010 17:09:00 GMT -5
Previous to Vatican II, the priest held mass with his back turned to the parish, spoke it in Vulgate Latin, amongst other things which didn't seem to make a lot of sense. Vatican II is about as close as the hierarchy ever came to becoming relevant to their audience.
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Post by Ian1732 on Jun 13, 2010 20:41:16 GMT -5
Hiss and fall to the ground when you enter the church, screaming, "It burns, it burns!" Bonus points if you can find a way to make it look like your skin is smoking. Additional bonus points if you can say it like this.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jun 13, 2010 22:30:38 GMT -5
Or if you can shout "IT BURNS USSS!!!" like Gollum does. (As an aside, I can.)
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Post by Lady Renae on Jun 13, 2010 22:38:37 GMT -5
Has anyone suggested sleeping yet?
ETA: Oh my god he can, too.... it's scary as all fuck... (and don't get him singing... the fact that he's extremely on key when he sings in gollum voice makes him even more of a creepy bastard)
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Post by Vene on Jun 13, 2010 22:42:33 GMT -5
Has anyone suggested sleeping yet? ETA: Oh my god he can, too.... it's scary as all fuck... (and don't get him singing... the fact that he's extremely on key when he sings in gollum voice makes him even more of a creepy bastard) I want to hear this.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jun 13, 2010 22:43:09 GMT -5
Wait, I can sing on-key when I do Gollum? What the fuck?
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Post by Lady Renae on Jun 13, 2010 23:12:25 GMT -5
I told you this when I was visiting.
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Post by The_L on Jun 14, 2010 7:59:25 GMT -5
Look at all the pretty architecture, artwork, and people of whatever gender(s) you fancy. Pick apart the sermons (in your head). Fall asleep with your eyes open. I'm in the choir at a Catholic Church, and I can vouch for the effectiveness of this.
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Post by mistermuncher on Jun 14, 2010 20:53:30 GMT -5
I've actually been to Mass three times in as many weeks (two weddings and a funeral, relax, I'm still me!) and the toleration options are pretty limited once you're a grown adult. I really missed being a fucked up wee child and pretending I was a fire engine or something.
It's a fantastic place for the old "What's the absolute worst thing I could say right now" game, though.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jun 14, 2010 23:28:52 GMT -5
No, no... Just imagine yourself fucking up at the alter. Bonus points for Clockworkgirl since she's a lesbian.
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Post by Lady Renae on Jun 15, 2010 1:04:44 GMT -5
Triple points if you imagine you're doing it and everyone is just having service in spite of it. Don't remove the service from the room in your imagination.
It's hilarious. Trust me on this.
Don't ask.
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