Post by renaissanceblonde on Dec 16, 2010 23:08:22 GMT -5
In honour of all our various flatmate troubles and Christmas, here is my version of Twelve Days of Christmas.
On the first day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
A salmonella in the old fridge.
On the second day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Two people fucking,
And a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the third day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the fourth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the fifth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the sixth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the seventh day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the eighth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the ninth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the tenth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Eleven requests ignored,
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Twelve years of misanthropy,
Eleven requests ignored,
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the first day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
A salmonella in the old fridge.
On the second day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Two people fucking,
And a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the third day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the fourth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the fifth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the sixth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the seventh day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the eighth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the ninth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the tenth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Eleven requests ignored,
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my flatmates gave to me...
Twelve years of misanthropy,
Eleven requests ignored,
Ten people drinking,
Nine rooms a-mopping,
Eight hours sweeping,
Seven days a-griping,
Six nights not sleeping,
Five dead roaches,
Four empty bottles,
Three dirty dishes,
Two people fucking,
and a salmonella in the old fridge.