The Blessed Chain Email

[Smurfette Principle]

I got this in my inbox today. The original was in 72 font red lettering on a black background, with enormous spaces between each paragraph. I repost it here, because I find it hilarious.

Time For God

Read only if you have
time for God
Let me tell you, make sure you read
all the way to the bottom.
I almost deleted this email but I was blessed when I got to the end
God,
when I received this
e-mail, I thought..
I don't have time for this...
And, this is really
inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind
of thinking is.... Exactly, what
has caused a lot of the problems
in our world today.
We try to keep God in
church on Sunday morning....
Maybe,
Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event
o f a midweek
service.
We do like to have Him
around during sickness....
And, of course,
at funerals
However, we don't have
time, or room, for Him
during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of
our lives we think... We can,
and should, handle
on our own.
May God forgive me
for ever thinking...
That... There is a time
or place where..
HE is not to be
FIRST
in my life.
We should always
have time to remember
all HE has
done for us.
If, You aren't
ashamed to
do this...
Please follow the
directions.
Jesus said, 'If you are
ashamed of me, I will be
ashamed of you
before my Father.'
Not
ashamed?
Pass this on ONLY
IF YOU
MEAN IT!!
Yes, .....
I DO
Love God.
HE is my source of
existence
and Savior.
He keeps me functioning
each and every day.
Without Him, I will be
nothing.
But, with Christ,
HE strengthens me.
(Phil 4:13)
This is the
simplest test.
If You Love God...
And, are not ashamed of
all the marvelous things
HE has done for you...
Send this to as many people you care about!
Now do you have the
time to pass it on?
Make sure that you
scroll
through to the end.
Easy vs. Hard
Why is it so hard to tell
the truth but Yet so
easy to tell a lie?
Why are we so sleepy
in church but Right when
the sermon is over we
suddenly wake up?
Why is it so easy to
delete a Godly e-mail,
but yet we forward
all of the nasty ones?
Of all the free gifts
we may receive,
Prayer
is the very best one.....
There are no costs,
but wonderful rewards...
GOD BLESS!
Notes: Isn't it funny how
simple it is for people
to trash God and then
wonder why the
world's going to hell.
Isn't it funny how
someone can say
'I believe in God'
but still follow Satan
(who, by the way,
also 'believes'
in God).
Isn't it funny how you
can send a thousand
jokes through e-mail
and they spread like
wildfire, but when
you start sending
messages regarding
the Lord,
people think twice
about sharing?
Isn't it funny how
when you go to forward
this message, you
will not send it to many,
because you're not
sure what they believe,
or what they will think
of you for sending
it to them
Isn't it funny how I can
be more worried
about what other
people think of me
than what God
thinks of me.
I pray, for everyone
who sends this to someone, they will be blessed
by God
in a way special for them.
And send it back to the
person who sent it,
to let them know that
indeed it was sent
out to many more.

[MaybeNever]

Quoting something with that much text (and text so poorly formatted) makes it kind of hard to read.

Anyway, on the strength of this evidence I am forced to conclude that religious faith crucially damages whatever part of the brain enables linguistic organization.

[Cygnus]

This is my favorite part:

Why are we so sleepy
in church but Right when
the sermon is over we
suddenly wake up?

Because it's boring as hell? Oh well, at least you're honest enough to admit that you sleep through something that is supposed to an important part of your faith.


Also, this email seemed unnecessarily long. Couldn't this have been summed up in a paragraph or two?

[Smurfette Principle]

My favorite was this:

Isn't it funny how
someone can say
'I believe in God'
but still follow Satan
(who, by the way,
also 'believes'
in God).

It's so bad it's good.

[tgrwulf]

Jan 18, 2011 22:44:44 GMT -5 Cygnus said:

This is my favorite part:

Why are we so sleepy
in church but Right when
the sermon is over we
suddenly wake up?

Because it's boring as hell? Oh well, at least you're honest enough to admit that you sleep through something that is supposed to an important part of your faith.


Also, this email seemed unnecessarily long. Couldn't this have been summed up in a paragraph or two?

I often hear fundies respond to that by saying it's because the world is full of sin and sin is seen as exciting, or something like that. Truth is, like you said, church can be boring as fuck.

[The_L]

Meh, the Holy Hand Grenade was better. This is weaksauce.

It's also quite possibly the worst way ever to "witness" to a fellow Christian.

[Admiral Lithp]

Maybe you're thinking, "I don't have time for this" because it's 15 pages of Size 72 Brickshit House Font to say, "Always put God first in your life!"

Which always struck me as stupid. If you believe in God, don't you also believe it wants you to live your own life every now & again? That everything doesn't have to be about him?

'Parently not.