Post by Chi Shiro on May 31, 2011 21:22:59 GMT -5
Title: Broken Doll
Author: Chi Shiro
Author's Notes: It's been a good two years since I've written anything worth reading and that was fan fiction. Time to stretch my wings and write some original work. Something very, very short just to start out with. I have the hardest time with first person so I decided to jump feet first in the deep end. It's just the kind of girl I am. Liz and Ashley are original characters I've been tinkering with for years now and will, hopefully, one day be part of a novel.
Without further ado, I give you "Broken Doll"
***************
Mother always said not to cry. She told me I was such a pretty girl, if I'd only stop crying. She said it made my face puffy and that it was such an unattractive look on a young lady.
Mother always said not to show them your fear. She always said that people were cruel monsters who would rip into the tender underbelly of anyone who dared to show fear. Mother said it was weakness and cowardice to show fear. I suppose she was right.
I cry now, all the time. I am very, very afraid. Mother would be so ashamed of me. I look in the mirror and see a puffy face, tired eyes, a haunted woman. If you can even call me a woman.
I feel the monster, so close to the surface it can almost take a breath. The thing that lurks beneath is trying to break the still of the water. I'm trying to drowned it, Ashley, I really am. I'm trying to push that vile, base thing so far under the water that it will never break free. I'm trying to make it die. I'm trying to kill that part of myself. I want to be free of her in the worst way.
My thoughts are disjointed tonight, baby. Will you wake up and sit with me? Will you wake up and chase the thoughts of tears and fears and monsters away? Mother wouldn't like you, you know. Oh, no one was ever good enough for my mother but she would have preferred I mate with a man.
Mate? God, I'm doing it again. Referring to things like some primal animal. I am not an animal! I am not! I am not! Make it go away, lovely, make it go away! I don't want to be alone tonight.
Wake up, Ashley, wake up. I need you right now in the worst way. But I'm afraid to wake you up myself. Afraid that if this foul demon wakes up her angel then the angel will recognize the demon for what it is. Demons don't deserve to be loved, they deserve to be slayed.
"Liz," the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "Are you alright, sweetheart? You've been thrashing in your sleep for the last hour."
In my sleep. Right. Tell me again, pretty girl, how I've been thrashing in my sleep. Tell me about hope and happiness and angels. Cause you always paint such pretty pictures, Ashley. You make me think that maybe tomorrow will come after all.
"Liz. Elizabeth," her voices raises ever so slightly, like a mother scolding a bad child in a store. She doesn't want to be too harsh but she needs to get the child's attention. That's it, Ashley, yell at me, show me you care. Show me you feel something. I know I'm giving her that odd, broken smile and I can't help it. I can't help it at all. "Liz, speak to me. You're scaring me, baby."
I can feel the words forming on my lips before they even roll off my tongue. "I'm alright, sugar. I'm just feeling a little antsy tonight. Nothing a sleeping pill and a glass of water won't fix."
Liar! Liar! Tell her the truth! Tell her about the monster. Tell her about the crying. Tell her about all the things mother used to say to you. She's your wife, for the love of the gods! Don't your marriage vows mean anything to you?
Yeah, brain, that's right. Heap it on. Cause, "Honey, I don't think the pills work and I'm going crazy" is just what I need to say to save my marriage from a major meltdown.
She's looking at me again with those soft, hazel eyes. Eyes like I've never seen on another girl in the world. My Ashley's eyes. My angel's eyes. I could easily drowned in them. Take myself and the monster and kill us both in those twin pools.
It would be such a sweet death.
I know the quickest way to kill this discussion before it ever gets off the ground. "Ashley, you know, it's been awhile and we are both up..." I leave that sentence dangling to see if she takes the bait. If she does I get an enjoyable hour or so in which to forget my troubles. If she doesn't she'll go back to sleep and I can go back to my musings.
She laughs. Oh god, that laugh could send me straight to hell. It falls like rain on the parched desert sands and it is just as welcomed as the water.
She's on me before I know what's happening. Apparently she needed this as much as I did. Forget the monsters and the crying. Forget it all. I may be a broken god damned doll but, at least for tonight, someone wants to play with me.
The End
**********
So, yeah, I was trying to highlight the fact that Liz is slowly going insane and she doesn't know how to get the help she needs from her wife. How did I do? Good? Bad? This only took me around an hour to write. I kind of let the characters flow and do what they would and this is what I got for it.
Edited for formatting.
Author: Chi Shiro
Author's Notes: It's been a good two years since I've written anything worth reading and that was fan fiction. Time to stretch my wings and write some original work. Something very, very short just to start out with. I have the hardest time with first person so I decided to jump feet first in the deep end. It's just the kind of girl I am. Liz and Ashley are original characters I've been tinkering with for years now and will, hopefully, one day be part of a novel.
Without further ado, I give you "Broken Doll"
***************
Mother always said not to cry. She told me I was such a pretty girl, if I'd only stop crying. She said it made my face puffy and that it was such an unattractive look on a young lady.
Mother always said not to show them your fear. She always said that people were cruel monsters who would rip into the tender underbelly of anyone who dared to show fear. Mother said it was weakness and cowardice to show fear. I suppose she was right.
I cry now, all the time. I am very, very afraid. Mother would be so ashamed of me. I look in the mirror and see a puffy face, tired eyes, a haunted woman. If you can even call me a woman.
I feel the monster, so close to the surface it can almost take a breath. The thing that lurks beneath is trying to break the still of the water. I'm trying to drowned it, Ashley, I really am. I'm trying to push that vile, base thing so far under the water that it will never break free. I'm trying to make it die. I'm trying to kill that part of myself. I want to be free of her in the worst way.
My thoughts are disjointed tonight, baby. Will you wake up and sit with me? Will you wake up and chase the thoughts of tears and fears and monsters away? Mother wouldn't like you, you know. Oh, no one was ever good enough for my mother but she would have preferred I mate with a man.
Mate? God, I'm doing it again. Referring to things like some primal animal. I am not an animal! I am not! I am not! Make it go away, lovely, make it go away! I don't want to be alone tonight.
Wake up, Ashley, wake up. I need you right now in the worst way. But I'm afraid to wake you up myself. Afraid that if this foul demon wakes up her angel then the angel will recognize the demon for what it is. Demons don't deserve to be loved, they deserve to be slayed.
"Liz," the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "Are you alright, sweetheart? You've been thrashing in your sleep for the last hour."
In my sleep. Right. Tell me again, pretty girl, how I've been thrashing in my sleep. Tell me about hope and happiness and angels. Cause you always paint such pretty pictures, Ashley. You make me think that maybe tomorrow will come after all.
"Liz. Elizabeth," her voices raises ever so slightly, like a mother scolding a bad child in a store. She doesn't want to be too harsh but she needs to get the child's attention. That's it, Ashley, yell at me, show me you care. Show me you feel something. I know I'm giving her that odd, broken smile and I can't help it. I can't help it at all. "Liz, speak to me. You're scaring me, baby."
I can feel the words forming on my lips before they even roll off my tongue. "I'm alright, sugar. I'm just feeling a little antsy tonight. Nothing a sleeping pill and a glass of water won't fix."
Liar! Liar! Tell her the truth! Tell her about the monster. Tell her about the crying. Tell her about all the things mother used to say to you. She's your wife, for the love of the gods! Don't your marriage vows mean anything to you?
Yeah, brain, that's right. Heap it on. Cause, "Honey, I don't think the pills work and I'm going crazy" is just what I need to say to save my marriage from a major meltdown.
She's looking at me again with those soft, hazel eyes. Eyes like I've never seen on another girl in the world. My Ashley's eyes. My angel's eyes. I could easily drowned in them. Take myself and the monster and kill us both in those twin pools.
It would be such a sweet death.
I know the quickest way to kill this discussion before it ever gets off the ground. "Ashley, you know, it's been awhile and we are both up..." I leave that sentence dangling to see if she takes the bait. If she does I get an enjoyable hour or so in which to forget my troubles. If she doesn't she'll go back to sleep and I can go back to my musings.
She laughs. Oh god, that laugh could send me straight to hell. It falls like rain on the parched desert sands and it is just as welcomed as the water.
She's on me before I know what's happening. Apparently she needed this as much as I did. Forget the monsters and the crying. Forget it all. I may be a broken god damned doll but, at least for tonight, someone wants to play with me.
The End
**********
So, yeah, I was trying to highlight the fact that Liz is slowly going insane and she doesn't know how to get the help she needs from her wife. How did I do? Good? Bad? This only took me around an hour to write. I kind of let the characters flow and do what they would and this is what I got for it.
Edited for formatting.
