1 Sperm Donor, 150 Brothers and Sisters

[kristine]

www.nytimes.com/2011/09/06/health/06donor.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss

1 Sperm Donor, 150 Brothers and Sisters

Cynthia Daily and her partner used a sperm donor to conceive a baby seven years ago, and they hoped that one day their son would get to know some of his half siblings — an extended family of sorts for modern times. o Ms. Daily searched a Web-based registry for other children fathered by the same donor and helped to create an online group to track them. Over the years, she watched the number of children in her son’s group grow.
And grow.

Today there are 150 children, all conceived with sperm from one donor, in this group of half siblings, and more are on the way. “It’s wild when we see them all together — they all look alike,” said Ms. Daily, 48, a social worker in the Washington area who sometimes vacations with other families in her son’s group.

As more women choose to have babies on their own, and the number of children born through artificial insemination increases, outsize groups of donor siblings are starting to appear. While Ms. Daily’s group is among the largest, many others comprising 50 or more half siblings are cropping up on Web sites and in chat groups, where sperm donors are tagged with unique identifying numbers.

Now, there is growing concern among parents, donors and medical experts about potential negative consequences of having so many children fathered by the same donors, including the possibility that genes for rare diseases could be spread more widely through the population. Some experts are even calling attention to the increased odds of accidental incest between half sisters and half brothers, who often live close to one another.

“My daughter knows her donor’s number for this very reason,” said the mother of a teenager conceived via sperm donation in California who asked that her name be withheld to protect her daughter’s privacy. “She’s been in school with numerous kids who were born through donors. She’s had crushes on boys who are donor children. It’s become part of sex education” for her. Critics say that fertility clinics and sperm banks are earning huge profits by allowing too many children to be conceived with sperm from popular donors, and that families should be given more information on the health of donors and the children conceived with their sperm. They are also calling for legal limits on the number of children conceived using the same donor’s sperm and a re-examination of the anonymity that cloaks many donors.

“We have more rules that go into place when you buy a used car than when you buy sperm,” said Debora L. Spar, president of Barnard College and author of “The Baby Business: How Money, Science, and Politics Drive the Commerce of Conception.” “It’s very clear that the dealer can’t sell you a lemon, and there’s information about the history of the car. There are no such rules in the fertility industry right now.”

Unlike other countries, including Britain, France and Sweden, there are no limits in the United States on how many children a sperm donor can father. There are only guidelines issued by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a professional group that recommend restricting conceptions by individual donors to 25 births per population of 800,000. ...

GEEZ - WTF are you people thinking? For how many of these children is knowing your donor number NOT part of your sex ed? Where are the medical ethics in THAT industry?

Not to mention things like this... www.newser.com/story/124025/sperm-donor-never-told-24-kids-about-deadly-defect.html

WTF!?

[Old Viking]

I tried selling sperm for a time. Even offered at-home delivery to guarantee freshness. Zippo.

[Kit Walker]

This reminds me of an episode of Boston Legal where a boyfriend and girlfriend find out that they're half siblings from the same sperm donor. When you get 150+ kids from the same source in the same area, all anonymously (at least in that they don't necessarily know of one another)...I'd say bad shit could happen.

[cestlefun17]

I do not understand why, with so many unwanted children in this world, people would want to artificially create more children.

I can understand why a married heterosexual couple would want to have their own biological children, whose genes come from both parents. But a single mom wanting a kid? Why doesn't she either adopt a foster child or you know...try some human interaction? Get to know people? Find someone you love and are compatible with? Settle down, get married? Why would she want to conceive a child with an anonymous man she'll never meet?

It's just completely irresponsible.

[Amaranth]

Sept 5, 2011 15:23:54 GMT -5 cestlefun17 said:

I do not understand why, with so many unwanted children in this world, people would want to artificially create more children.

I can understand why a married heterosexual couple would want to have their own biological children, whose genes come from both parents. But a single mom wanting a kid? Why doesn't she either adopt a foster child or you know...try some human interaction? Get to know people? Find someone you love and are compatible with? Settle down, get married? Why would she want to conceive a child with an anonymous man she'll never meet?

It's just completely irresponsible.

Yeah, how dare she live in a lifestyle I disapprove of?

Also, why isn't she in the kitchen?

[cestlefun17]

Amaranth, what the hell are you talking about? All I'm saying is: why, in this overpopulated world, create another human being with someone you don't know, when there are so many unwanted children up for adoption in the world? Is this such a ridiculous question to ask?

[Amaranth]

Sept 5, 2011 15:33:38 GMT -5 cestlefun17 said:

Amaranth, what the hell are you talking about? All I'm saying is: why, in this overpopulated world, create another human being with someone you don't know, when there are so many unwanted children up for adoption in the world? Is this such a ridiculous question to ask?

If that's ALL you meant, why post this?

try some human interaction? Get to know people? Find someone you love and are compatible with? Settle down, get married? Why would she want to conceive a child with an anonymous man she'll never meet?

It's just completely irresponsible.

That paints a completely different, very bigoted picture than what you claim you mean.

And yes, when you include stuff like that, it is a ridiculous question.

Also, why are heterosexual couples exempt? As the primary family unit, shouldn't they carry the burden, rather than insisting that a woman who wants her own baby should go find a man to settle down with?

Breeders. They're fucking irresponsible.

[DeadpanDoubter]

@cestle-- I find it alarming that a couple capable in every way of adopting a child would want to make a child instead. I must say that I can understand why a single woman would rather artificially impregnate herself-- much cheaper than arranging an adoption.

[Amaranth]

Sept 5, 2011 15:41:39 GMT -5 DeadpanDoubter said:

@cestle-- I find it alarming that a couple capable in every way of adopting a child would want to make a child instead. I must say that I can understand why a single woman would rather artificially impregnate herself-- much cheaper than arranging an adoption.

But not as cheap as a trip to the local singles bar....*rimshot*

[Yaezakura]

Sept 5, 2011 15:23:54 GMT -5 cestlefun17 said:

I do not understand why, with so many unwanted children in this world, people would want to artificially create more children.

I can understand why a married heterosexual couple would want to have their own biological children, whose genes come from both parents. But a single mom wanting a kid? Why doesn't she either adopt a foster child or you know...try some human interaction? Get to know people? Find someone you love and are compatible with? Settle down, get married? Why would she want to conceive a child with an anonymous man she'll never meet?

It's just completely irresponsible.

Wow. That's a kind of closed-mindedness I've come to expect from very few people on this forum.

I suppose that single mother doesn't deserve that same desire for biological offspring. To go through pregnancy and raising her own child. Since she isn't willing to settle for any random dick looking to unload in her snatch, I guess she's only entitled to someone else's leftovers.

Did you seriously not even consider that many of those single women wanting to become mothers are ones who are nearing the end of safe childbearing years and can't afford to wait for Mr. Right to stumble along before their lady-parts close up shop? Or the fact that artificial insemination is probably both cheaper and a far easier process than adoption?

Yes, there are a lot of kids who need to be adopted, and a lot of kids in the foster care system. Since when does that make it irresponsible for a woman to want one child of her own?

[cestlefun17]

If that's ALL you meant, why post this?

Because the article is discussing the ethics of, and problems resulting from, sperm donation.

That paints a completely different, very bigoted picture than what you claim you mean.

How so? The article mentioned that more women are choosing to have children on their own. I'm saying that I question the responsibility of having a child with an anonymous donor. I also question the ethics of choosing to bare or adopt a child as a single parent (as opposed to people who become single parents through no fault of their own), but if you insist on becoming a single parent, why create another human being with someone you'll never meet? It seems irresponsible to me to put yourself in that position. The same would go for a man purposely trying to make himself a single father.

Also, why are heterosexual couples exempt? As the primary family unit, shouldn't they carry the burden, rather than insisting that a woman who wants her own baby should go find a man to settle down with?

Because you cannot deny the natural desire of people to bare their own children. In my view it would be preferable for everyone to adopt their children until the world population shrinks by a couple billion. But in the meantime, if people are going to make more children, it should be in a responsible and controlled manner, and done by responsible people. Future scientific advances notwithstanding, a child must be born from a mother and father, and provided that the mother and father are responsible people, it is preferable that the child is raised by them. In the real world, not all parents are so responsible, so people who cannot or do not wish to have biological children in this responsible and controlled manner should be taking in the children who cannot be raised by their biological parents.

I suppose that single mother doesn't deserve that same desire for biological offspring. To go through pregnancy and raising her own child. Since she isn't willing to settle for any random dick looking to unload in her snatch, I guess she's only entitled to someone else's leftovers.

I find it appalling that you think of unwanted children as "someone else's leftovers." No, she shouldn't want to settle for any random dick. But at the same time she shouldn't just bring a baby into this world without having someone else to help her raise him or her. I believe children deserve two parents.

[Amaranth]

Sept 5, 2011 15:51:02 GMT -5 cestlefun17 said:

Because the article is discussing the ethics of, and problems resulting from, sperm donation.

Then obviously, you don't solely mean what you just claimed you meant. You discussed this, I took issue with your sentiment on the matter. Were you intentionally going the strawman route?

How so? The article mentioned that more women are choosing to have children on their own. I'm saying that I question the responsibility of having a child with an anonymous donor. I also question the ethics of choosing to bare or adopt a child as a single parent (as opposed to people who become single parents through no fault of their own), but if you insist on becoming a single parent, why create another human being with someone you'll never meet? It seems irresponsible to me to put yourself in that position. The same would go for a man purposely trying to make himself a single father.

And I think that's a very fifties view you have there.

Because you cannot deny the natural desire of people to bare their own children.

I agree. The only difference is, you are denying the natural desire of every homosexual, every non-traditional household, every single person who does not have a partner.

And I'm not.

So please, don't lecture me on denying the natural desire. That persists even if you aren't partnered up in a relationship. Apply it evenly.

[DeadpanDoubter]

Sept 5, 2011 15:44:39 GMT -5 Amaranth said:

Sept 5, 2011 15:41:39 GMT -5 DeadpanDoubter said:

@cestle-- I find it alarming that a couple capable in every way of adopting a child would want to make a child instead. I must say that I can understand why a single woman would rather artificially impregnate herself-- much cheaper than arranging an adoption.

But not as cheap as a trip to the local singles bar....*rimshot*

Dunno, though, those drinks can get pricey, and I know I'd have to get drunk to bang some of those men.

[Yaezakura]

Sept 5, 2011 15:51:02 GMT -5 cestlefun17 said:

I find it appalling that you think of unwanted children as "someone else's leftovers." No, she shouldn't want to settle for any random dick. But at the same time she shouldn't just bring a baby into this world without having someone else to help her raise him or her. I believe children deserve two parents.

I don't think of them that way. I honestly wish every child born had a place to go where they could be loved.

Because what I believe is that children deserve loving parents, regardless of number. One parent, two parents, ten parents, it doesn't matter. Love and a nurturing atmosphere trump the specifics every time.

[The_L]

Cestle, the word you're looking for is BEAR. B-E-A-R. To "bare" children means to strip off their clothes.

Also...your argument is not at all consistent. I recommend you think about the issue more, in order to determine where exactly you stand.

Also, why on earth does the identity of your child's other biological parent matter? If he's not going to be around anyway, does it make a difference?

I'm planning on a polyamorous relationship, and I have no intention of doing DNA tests to determine which of my lovers is the biological father of each child. To me, a father is a man who lives with and helps to raise a child, whether he contributed genetic material to make that child or not.