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Post by szaleniec on Oct 20, 2009 14:59:16 GMT -5
(reposted from the "what rocks in your life" thread on F&B)
Met a woman who's absolutely crazy about me, and gods help me it's mutual. Anyway, I think she wants me to go and live with her. I'm kind of drifting right now with work and life and I know I've got a lot more to gain than to lose - I'm being careful but everything (and everyone) tells me to go for it.
Did I mention she lives halfway round the world?
Half rocks, half fucking scares me to death. But mostly rocks.* I'd be the first to admit I'm living up to my username with this. Wish me luck, I think I need it...
* I know that's mathematically impossible.
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Post by the sandman on Oct 20, 2009 15:51:14 GMT -5
That totally depends on WHERE she is half way round the world.
Half way round to Jamaica? Fuck yeah.
Half way round to Tokyo? Count me in.
Half way round to Rwanda? Let's just be friends.
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Post by chiheisen on Oct 20, 2009 16:47:23 GMT -5
If it's half way around to Tokyo, please, please take me with you. I'm a Kansai girl, but the boy lives in Kanto and I miss him, and Japan, like mad.
If you feel that you'll end up gaining more than losing, then go for it. Of course, don't be too hasty -- talk it out and think it through. Get all the details down first, because that's a really big leap and you don't want to be greeted mostly by surprises.
/needless advice
No matter what you choose, I wish you good luck!
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Post by Mr. Turquoise on Oct 20, 2009 17:03:05 GMT -5
Having moved half-way around the world a couple of times myself, I think chiheisen's advice was sound (although, I also agree with Sandman's suggestion to avoid moving to Rwanda). Slow down and plan. If you can, go visit for a few weeks first, and look into a few aspects of life in your potential new home. In particular, you need to make sure you can get a job, and if there is a potential language barrier, be sure to study up a little before you go.
If you do it right, it could be the best thing you ever do. But if you do it wrong, you will get very unhappy, very quickly, which will also kill the relationship - I've seen this happen more than once.
Good luck.
Mr. Turquoise
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Post by szaleniec on Nov 7, 2009 0:18:15 GMT -5
It's nowhere that exotic, either in the sense of "wow, I must go there" or "fuck that for a lark". It's not anywhere it had ever remotely crossed my mind to move to, or even anywhere I'd even heard of before, but not somewhere I'd be violently averse to moving either. Specifically:  In any case, I do intend to visit again before making any rash decisions. It's not like I have any shortage of time these days, after all. I have other friends who live semi-locally - indeed that's how I met her in the first place, not directly through them but when I was on my way with some friends from home to visit them - who have said they'd look out for me if I did move, which is always a help. (And she was very excited when I told her I intended to be back sooner than she expected.  ) So yeah. (As a footnote, I'm glad my mobile phone company does cheap international rates. I shudder to think what my bill would look like otherwise.) |
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on Nov 7, 2009 0:26:41 GMT -5
What does your username even mean? And how do you pronounce it?
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Post by szaleniec on Nov 7, 2009 0:40:39 GMT -5
What does your username even mean? And how do you pronounce it? Approximately "shalenyets", with stress on the second syllable. [ʂaˈlɛɲɛt͡s] if you (and your browser) can read IPA. Means "madman" in Polish. |
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Post by Mr. Turquoise on Nov 7, 2009 1:11:27 GMT -5
Given your use of the term "mobile phone", I'm assuming that you'd be moving from Europe (I would guess at Britain, but I've known more than a few continentals whose command of English has been misleadingly excellent).
Doing the back-and-forth thing is good. And it's even better when you know some people nearby, as it's very difficult to feel comfortable in a place where all of your friends are mutual, particularly if the relationship flounders.
From experience, I can tell you that you should get started on the paperwork to make such a move now. I can assure you that it will take you longer than you think to get everything together for that part of the process. And even if this is a relationship that you feel will go somewhere, it's worth ensuring that your legal status is independent of that relationship, just in case (I've seen people deported when their visas were canceled after getting divorced...).
But it sounds like you're thinking this through. As I said, this could easily turn out to be the best thing you ever do. I can't offer too much specific advice on moving to the US, so I'll just re-iterate that you need to plan carefully, and make sure that your life there is not primarily dependent on the success of the relationship.
I sincerely hope everything works out for you. And my house is not very far off that map - if you ever find yourself on the polite side of Lake Erie, I'll buy you a beer.
Mr. Turquoise
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Post by rookie on Nov 8, 2009 19:26:21 GMT -5
Hey, you'll be right outside Hagarstown. Best Jamaican restaurant I've ever been to was there. Not sure if that helps, just throwing it out there.
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Post by Ranger Joe on Nov 11, 2009 13:08:06 GMT -5
It's nowhere that exotic, either in the sense of "wow, I must go there" or "fuck that for a lark". It's not anywhere it had ever remotely crossed my mind to move to, or even anywhere I'd even heard of before, but not somewhere I'd be violently averse to moving either. Specifically: In any case, I do intend to visit again before making any rash decisions. It's not like I have any shortage of time these days, after all. I have other friends who live semi-locally - indeed that's how I met her in the first place, not directly through them but when I was on my way with some friends from home to visit them - who have said they'd look out for me if I did move, which is always a help. (And she was very excited when I told her I intended to be back sooner than she expected. ) So yeah. (As a footnote, I'm glad my mobile phone company does cheap international rates. I shudder to think what my bill would look like otherwise.) I live at that word Frederick a little ways south of where you are going. I will give fair warning...the people of Waynesboro, PA are special. As I'm certain you've found an exception to the rule, I would just try to be not surprised by the local yokels....But if you do make it across the pond, then swing through Frederick so we can have a pint. lol |
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Nov 11, 2009 13:39:26 GMT -5
Just in case anyone cares, I was born and raised in Johnstown, which happens to be near Pittsburgh on that map. |
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Post by SimSim on Nov 11, 2009 15:22:58 GMT -5
Rat, do you say yinz? Also, heard enough stories about the flood to last a lifetime?
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Nov 11, 2009 15:49:54 GMT -5
Rat, do you say yinz? Also, heard enough stories about the flood to last a lifetime? Around there, it's pronounced more like "yoonz", but yes, and yes, I've heard my share of Flood stories.  |
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Post by SimSim on Nov 11, 2009 15:55:13 GMT -5
My sister did a year internship in Johnstown. She said she was sick of hearing the Flood stories by the time she left.
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Post by szaleniec on Nov 11, 2009 16:20:24 GMT -5
I live at that word Frederick a little ways south of where you are going. I will give fair warning...the people of Waynesboro, PA are special. As I'm certain you've found an exception to the rule, I would just try to be not surprised by the local yokels.... Didn't spend that much time in Waynesboro. We met in Chambersburg and she stayed with me there. I'll try not to be too surprised when she shows me round - then again, I have lived two years in Norfolk.  Might just take you up on that! I sincerely hope everything works out for you. And my house is not very far off that map - if you ever find yourself on the polite side of Lake Erie, I'll buy you a beer. You too. Yep, I've heard horror stories to that effect as well. It's an extra pressure on the relationship too, if my residency depends on it. Hey, you'll be right outside Hagarstown. Best Jamaican restaurant I've ever been to was there. Not sure if that helps, just throwing it out there. She goes to Hagerstown a lot. I'll have to ask her about it. |
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