Post by anaseum on Nov 12, 2009 18:50:18 GMT -5
On my way back to my dorm, I noticed that there was a building that had it's lights on. It's a building that's used for meetings. I decided to go in. It turns out that my college's cultural center was having a meeting. About what, I forgot. I decided to stop in and listen to whoever talking. So there I was, eating the food they had at the table, saying nothing, just minding my own business.
A few minutes later, a man comes in looking for me. He tells me to follow him into the lobby, so I did. In the lobby was another man. Turns out they're both from my college's public safety department.
According to them, I said something inappropriate to a woman at the cultural center. Now she feels uncomfortable around me. I didn't bother asking who, for I was almost sure who they were talking about. The two men asked me to leave. I kept asking them if I could apologize to the lady for what I said to her, but they just told me to leave before I get into big trouble. So I did.
I recall one incident that might have caused this. I did say something that she deemed inappropriate to her, but that was a few days ago. Sometimes I'll come and visit her when she works at the cultural center and talk for a bit. I've been doing this for the past few months.
The incident in question was when I told her about a time when I was younger and I tried to print up "indecent images." The printer malfunctioned. It was almost if the printer had morals. I saw that she didn't find the humor in that and was a bit offended/uncomfortable. I thought, "Alright. I won't tell her any more dirty/sexual jokes." and just forgot about the incident. I didn't know that she was still uncomfortable because she seemed okay with talking with me when I visited her while she was working after that incident. Well, It turns out that she was because she sicked public safety on me.
That's the only time where I said something even remotely "inappropriate" to her.
Before I was removed from the meeting that night, I saw that same girl sitting at a table in the lobby of the building with another girl, with sign in sheets. All I said to her then was asking her what exactly was going on at the meeting.
So because I told her of a past experience a few days ago, she felt so uncomfortable with me that she felt the need to sic public safety on me when I showed up at a meeting.
The next day, after my first class, I went up to the office to apologize to her. . All she said was "Thank you for sharing your comment." There was an older woman (Her superior?) who happened to be there. The woman said that I should just stay away from her, give her some space and not go to anymore of their meetings. There was also another member of public safety who herd my conversation. I told him exactly what had happened. He too suggested that I stay away from her.
That is exactly what I intended to do. Stay away from her, at least for a few months, and hopefully she would forgive me when the next semester starts, if not, all I can say is "Wow."
Then I find out that the assistant dean has been trying to come in contact with me. Apparently he tried to call me days ago but I didn't answer. It was only when I decide to call my mother that I knew that he was trying to contact me. So I emailed him to scedule an appointment last night. He replies telling me when to meet him. Me not checking my email as often as I should, I didn't read it until long after I was suppoed to meet him. I call him to rescedule a meeting with him.
During my meeting with him he says that I'm not allowed in the cultural center ever again. He says if I do, I will be in very big trouble with the school.
The assistant dean also citied things like me being difficult when I was removed from the meeting, (Yeah I was being difficult. I didn't understand the full magnitude of the situation and kept asking if I could apologize to the woman.) and me not showing up for a scheduled meeting in time.
He said that I wasn't a threat, because if he saw me as a threat, he wouldn't have called me into office, that he would just get right to the disciplinary process or whatever they do. He recognized that I made a mistake, said that we all make mistakes. He said that I was a nice, mature man, and that I could use this experience to learn to grow as a person.
No, I didn't tell the assistant dean exactly what I said to her. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, he'll just say something along the lines of "It doesn't matter if you had no malicious intent behind your statement, what matters how she interpreted it."
I realize that I may have been out of line in telling her whatever I said, that's why I apologized and resolved not to tell her anything else remotely inappropriate, but if she had a problem with me, she could've told it to my face. She didn't have to get public safety involved.
A few minutes later, a man comes in looking for me. He tells me to follow him into the lobby, so I did. In the lobby was another man. Turns out they're both from my college's public safety department.
According to them, I said something inappropriate to a woman at the cultural center. Now she feels uncomfortable around me. I didn't bother asking who, for I was almost sure who they were talking about. The two men asked me to leave. I kept asking them if I could apologize to the lady for what I said to her, but they just told me to leave before I get into big trouble. So I did.
I recall one incident that might have caused this. I did say something that she deemed inappropriate to her, but that was a few days ago. Sometimes I'll come and visit her when she works at the cultural center and talk for a bit. I've been doing this for the past few months.
The incident in question was when I told her about a time when I was younger and I tried to print up "indecent images." The printer malfunctioned. It was almost if the printer had morals. I saw that she didn't find the humor in that and was a bit offended/uncomfortable. I thought, "Alright. I won't tell her any more dirty/sexual jokes." and just forgot about the incident. I didn't know that she was still uncomfortable because she seemed okay with talking with me when I visited her while she was working after that incident. Well, It turns out that she was because she sicked public safety on me.
That's the only time where I said something even remotely "inappropriate" to her.
Before I was removed from the meeting that night, I saw that same girl sitting at a table in the lobby of the building with another girl, with sign in sheets. All I said to her then was asking her what exactly was going on at the meeting.
So because I told her of a past experience a few days ago, she felt so uncomfortable with me that she felt the need to sic public safety on me when I showed up at a meeting.
The next day, after my first class, I went up to the office to apologize to her. . All she said was "Thank you for sharing your comment." There was an older woman (Her superior?) who happened to be there. The woman said that I should just stay away from her, give her some space and not go to anymore of their meetings. There was also another member of public safety who herd my conversation. I told him exactly what had happened. He too suggested that I stay away from her.
That is exactly what I intended to do. Stay away from her, at least for a few months, and hopefully she would forgive me when the next semester starts, if not, all I can say is "Wow."
Then I find out that the assistant dean has been trying to come in contact with me. Apparently he tried to call me days ago but I didn't answer. It was only when I decide to call my mother that I knew that he was trying to contact me. So I emailed him to scedule an appointment last night. He replies telling me when to meet him. Me not checking my email as often as I should, I didn't read it until long after I was suppoed to meet him. I call him to rescedule a meeting with him.
During my meeting with him he says that I'm not allowed in the cultural center ever again. He says if I do, I will be in very big trouble with the school.
The assistant dean also citied things like me being difficult when I was removed from the meeting, (Yeah I was being difficult. I didn't understand the full magnitude of the situation and kept asking if I could apologize to the woman.) and me not showing up for a scheduled meeting in time.
He said that I wasn't a threat, because if he saw me as a threat, he wouldn't have called me into office, that he would just get right to the disciplinary process or whatever they do. He recognized that I made a mistake, said that we all make mistakes. He said that I was a nice, mature man, and that I could use this experience to learn to grow as a person.
No, I didn't tell the assistant dean exactly what I said to her. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, he'll just say something along the lines of "It doesn't matter if you had no malicious intent behind your statement, what matters how she interpreted it."
I realize that I may have been out of line in telling her whatever I said, that's why I apologized and resolved not to tell her anything else remotely inappropriate, but if she had a problem with me, she could've told it to my face. She didn't have to get public safety involved.
