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Post by erictheblue on Nov 30, 2009 16:50:11 GMT -5
Earlier this year, I started dating the love of my life. (It hit me last night that we just past 6 months.) But there is one minor thing that keeps popping up in my head.
I'm 8 years older than her. At the ages we are (25/33), this is not a problem. But I can't help but think sometimes things like "I graduated from high school when she was 10" or "When I got out of college, she wasn't old enough to have a driver's license."
As I said, the age difference isn't causing any problems between us. But it bothers me that I think about it at random times. Does anyone know if this will stop? Or have any ideas for something I can think next time these thoughts occur?
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Post by Jedi Knight on Nov 30, 2009 17:04:55 GMT -5
Relax! The age difference doesn't matter now, and it will matter even less in the future, when time passed makes it seem smaller. I'd tell myself that. Besides, my uncle is ten years older than his wife. No one is the least worried about that.
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Post by carole on Nov 30, 2009 17:12:41 GMT -5
I think it will stop in time as you get more into the relationship and stop focusing on the age difference. Really eight years is not a big deal at all. I know several couples that are a lot further apart in age than that (I'm talking 16, 20 and 23 years here) and they are doing fine. Eight years shouldn't be a problem at all. If this is the love of your life don't let a little hang up about eight little years get in the way.
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Post by captainhooker on Nov 30, 2009 17:19:55 GMT -5
Emotional maturity begins to peak/plateau around 25 or 26, so I really don't see much of an issue with it.
If she were 20 and you were 28 or something equivalent, then you might have problems.
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Post by Magnizeal on Nov 30, 2009 17:59:29 GMT -5
Well, I'm 27, involved with Vene who's 22, and with strong hopes to be with someone else who's 18... and a chance at Mira, who's only 16 right now (I'll wait, deff). The biggest issue I've had so far is "Oh wow, she's almost as young as my little brother." But, I also freak out at "I'm almost thirty!" so, yeah. I guess, just reassure yourself that you're both of age and in love?
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Post by Mira on Nov 30, 2009 18:10:39 GMT -5
*cough*
Yeah... I forgot I'm a teenager. Weird.
Also, my father dated a 16 year old when he was 23 I believe. They turned out pretty well, dated for eight years, but once they got married my dad got overly jealous, and yeah, he did badly with relationships. Anywho, my point is that age is mostly irrelevant. I wouldn't worry about it.
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Post by Lady Renae on Nov 30, 2009 18:30:11 GMT -5
My sister's father is currently with someone only three years older than me. I think that's what makes the age gap creepy... if he didn't have an ex-stepdaughter who could be mistaken for his girlfriend's sister, it probably wouldn't bother me so much.
It's all relative.
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Nov 30, 2009 18:54:31 GMT -5
My mom's 8 years younger than my dad, and while more mature than he is, she says she just got tired of waiting for him to mature. ;D Age gaps are only creepy when the younger person's frontal lobes haven't fully developed...in my eyes, anyway.
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Post by MaybeNever on Nov 30, 2009 18:57:14 GMT -5
I used to date a girl seven years my junior, who is younger than my youngest brother. It was unusual, but eventually I simply didn't think about it unless it came up. YMMV.
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Post by Vene on Nov 30, 2009 19:03:58 GMT -5
Well, I'm 27, involved with Vene who's 22, and with strong hopes to be with someone else who's 18... and a chance at Mira, who's only 16 right now (I'll wait, deff). The biggest issue I've had so far is "Oh wow, she's almost as young as my little brother." But, I also freak out at "I'm almost thirty!" so, yeah. I guess, just reassure yourself that you're both of age and in love? To be fair, you're incredibly immature, or was that me?
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Post by Mantorok on Nov 30, 2009 19:21:14 GMT -5
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Post by szaleniec on Nov 30, 2009 20:15:32 GMT -5
There really is an xkcd for every situation.
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Post by malicious_bloke on Nov 30, 2009 20:28:33 GMT -5
Meh. So long as both of you are old enough that the law recognises that you arent trying to lech onto a minor, all is well.
Despite the fact there's only 5 months age gap between myself and my wife, I do get a bit of indirect age-gappyness from my two brothers-in-law. They are two years apart from each other and around the same age as my dad. Mrs Bloke was a very late addition to the family...it took them fucking ages for the rest of her family to accept me, and even today I occasionally get condescention and random acts of old-peopleness from them.
It's just something you have to learn to live with and put aside.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Nov 30, 2009 20:36:31 GMT -5
See, big age gaps never bother me--provided both people involved are older. A ten-year age gap, for instance, isn't a bad thing when one is 26 and the other is 36; however the same age gap is arguably creepier when it's a seventeen-year-old and a 27-year-old. And in Teenager Land, an age gap of five years seems impossibly huge (a fourteen-year-old and a nineteen-year-old? A sixteen year old and a 21-year-old? EEP!), but in your 20s and after it's a very small gap. It all depends on age.
Also, maturity factors in. A 21-year-old and a 30-year-old can have a perfectly normal relationship, or they can have an unhealthy one if the 21-year-old is still emotionally immature. (That's not to say that a 30-year-old can't be immature and a 21-year-old can't be mature and adult. Just sayin'.)
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Post by Jebediah on Dec 1, 2009 0:00:44 GMT -5
My sister is getting married in about a month to a man who is eleven years older than her. He also has three kids, and the oldest is fourteen. That step-kid thing is so weird (but really only because she's my sister and it's just weird to think she'll be a step-mom), but the age thing seems kinda really normal. I guess it's the way they act about it, like the gap doesn't exist.
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