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Post by theeclipse on Apr 6, 2010 1:46:53 GMT -5
I hope this is the right place to post it.
A few weeks ago, my friend dropped a 'bombshell' and told me that he's started going to church.
I've not seen him for over a year because he moved back to England. He lives a mainly secular life, and though I did know he believed in a God and considered himself to be Anglican, he'd not been in a church since he was a lot younger, didn't seem to think about religion ever, and he lives by science. He doesn't agree with a lot of religious tenets. Yet, in his email, he said guess what, I've started going to Church. His reasoning was he knows lots of people who are Christian. I assume he's going for a socialising aspect, he's always been very into trying to find people to socialise with. He must have found a church with lots of young people.
However it's very odd, and I'm a little weirded out by it and not sure how to react, even though I always knew he was slightly religious, it was a very weird religious viewpoint he had. 99.9% of the time he seemed very secular.
I'm not sure if there's a point to this thread other than has this happened to anyone else? Someone becoming active in religion when they don't seem like that even fits them? How did you react to it?
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Post by Trillian on Apr 6, 2010 3:08:33 GMT -5
Why should you react to it at all? Has he changed as a person? Is he easier/harder to talk to? Has he been trying to convert you? This is his journey, and doesn't really have anything to do with you. If you no longer wish to be his friend, that really is your choice, but as far as I can tell from what you've written, nothing about your relationship with him has changed, so why change it?
Keep acting normally toward him, and see how it goes.
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Post by theeclipse on Apr 6, 2010 3:43:40 GMT -5
No, he's not been trying to convert me, and as far as I know he's not changed as a person. I just think it's really really weird to go join a church for what seems like purely socialisation purposes, even though he does believe in God he's never really believed anything that priests say unless it happens to be useful advice- he just ignores anything that's not. And I don't know if that's really how religion works. I don't care at all if he believes in a God (though I did care when he got upset with me over it once) but it just seems weird to me. "I'm going to Church because most people I know are Christian and they all seem like nice people" was basically his reasoning.
It's not changed, I just feel weird about it.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Apr 6, 2010 3:43:47 GMT -5
Why should you react to it at all? Has he changed as a person? Is he easier/harder to talk to? Has he been trying to convert you? This is his journey, and doesn't really have anything to do with you. If you no longer wish to be his friend, that really is your choice, but as far as I can tell from what you've written, nothing about your relationship with him has changed, so why change it? Keep acting normally toward him, and see how it goes. QFT. What relevance do his religious practices have?
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Post by theeclipse on Apr 6, 2010 3:45:07 GMT -5
What does QFT mean? Is it Quoted for Truth?
Honestly, no relevance to me whatsoever anymore, because I don't see him.
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Post by tolpuddlemartyr on Apr 6, 2010 6:49:10 GMT -5
Only really knew one guy that "got religion", he was a mate back when I was a teenager and I still see him round the traps every now and then.
A guy who moved to a different city who may have had mental illness issues looking back, or...well, let's just say he had a "rich inner life". He claimed that he was a Satanist when I first met him, I think he was full of it because his ideas about Satanism were...unique. A couple of hippy friends turned him into a neo - pagan of sorts and later he became a Buddhist. Last time I met him he was a raving fundie, I didn't even blink at his newfound love of Jesus. He sort of reminds me of one of those people who follows fad diets, I was just sort of like "ok, so what are you this week?"
Didn't judge him, always thought he was a lovable loony, still is.
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Post by m52nickerson on Apr 6, 2010 11:08:49 GMT -5
I assume he's going for a socialising aspect, he's always been very into trying to find people to socialise with. He must have found a church with lots of young people. That might not be true. Every once in a while I attend Mass. being raised Roman Catholic I sometimes miss the ceremonial aspect of mass, especially during that holidays.
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Post by Old Viking on Apr 6, 2010 14:18:52 GMT -5
Mass always induced pious thoughts in me. Like, "Good God, will this never end?"
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Post by Dragon Zachski on Apr 6, 2010 14:30:31 GMT -5
I assume he's going for a socialising aspect, he's always been very into trying to find people to socialise with. He must have found a church with lots of young people. That might not be true. Every once in a while I attend Mass. being raised Roman Catholic I sometimes miss the ceremonial aspect of mass, especially during that holidays. I'll testify as to this. I'm not a Cradle Episcopalian, but ever since I've been going, I've enjoyed it. I don't even believe in the Christian God anymore, but I love the ritual of the Episcopalian church.
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Post by m52nickerson on Apr 6, 2010 16:04:53 GMT -5
Mass always induced pious thoughts in me. Like, "Good God, will this never end?" If you think mass is bad try going to a Methodist worship service. Protip, pack a lunch. ......and maybe a snack.
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Post by Shano on Apr 6, 2010 16:42:55 GMT -5
Mass always induced pious thoughts in me. Like, "Good God, will this never end?" If you think mass is bad try going to a Methodist worship service. Protip, pack a lunch. ......and maybe a snack. You obviously haven't been exposed to eastern orthodox liturgy. I dare you last through easter vigil! And for more punch try russian ot greek orthodox (the other ones manage to finish faster). As for ritualism of service, once again nothing beats orthodoxy (among christian sects that is, I have only vague idea of the rituals of other religions).
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Post by valsa on Apr 6, 2010 16:45:35 GMT -5
My best friend from 5th grade through high school (including through the pagan experimentation and bisexuality experimentation phases (well, phase for her... the bisexuality stuck for me)) and I lost touch after a big fight we had in our senior year. About 2-3 years later, I reached out to see how she was doing. Turns out she moved to Kentucky (from Michigan) and converted to Mormonism. And won't talk to me anymore ;_;
I'm pretty sure she basically joined the church for socialization purposes as well. She's always had a certain level of neediness when it comes to being accepted by "the group". Plus, she was in a new situation, all alone (her parents didn't approve of her move) and, by her own admission, the Mormon missionaries were just the first ones who reached out.
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Post by MaybeNever on Apr 6, 2010 16:46:29 GMT -5
I grew up Catholic, and serving at the altar for a 3+ hour midnight mass on Easter or Christmas Eve was a pretty common occurrence. It's practically a crime against humanity. Specifically, a humanity who wants to sleep and/or open presents/eat candy.
I once lost a friend to religion. Ordinarily I don't care one bit what faith somebody is, all the more since at the time I was sort of vaguely agnostic/pantheistic rather than full-on atheist. But an Internet friend became a born-again Christian, and almost immediately everything about her changed. Before, she was sort of quiet and low-key and thoughtful, accepted Darwin as her lord and savior, and was fun to talk to because she would engage. And then she found religion and within like a month she was aggressive, conversion-centered, couldn't talk about anything that wasn't Christianity, rejected evolution... it was like she'd had a psychotic break. Our friendship pretty much died shortly thereafter.
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Post by theeclipse on Apr 6, 2010 17:05:11 GMT -5
I assume he's going for a socialising aspect, he's always been very into trying to find people to socialise with. He must have found a church with lots of young people. That might not be true. Every once in a while I attend Mass. being raised Roman Catholic I sometimes miss the ceremonial aspect of mass, especially during that holidays. I say that because I know him and his motivations for everything- finding friends is basically his main motivation. And since he said, pretty much word for word "I've started going to church. I was thinking, and lots of the people I know are Christian, and they're really nice people". it just feels weird.
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Post by The_L on Apr 7, 2010 18:58:06 GMT -5
I am not a Christian. I sing in a church choir.
Secular folks? In MY church? It's more likely than you think.
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