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Post by bigjilm on May 4, 2010 10:23:52 GMT -5
This is something I've done on a few other forums in the past and it ends up being quite fun. I'm going to start a superhero story (in B-movie format) of the adventures of Bibleman where I write a paragraph or so and the next person continues a paragraph, and so on. Everyone interested feel free to jump in. Make it as zaney as you wish...
Note: After starting this thread, I discovered there really is a Bibleman character! He has his own series and action figures. It's a Google-must.
****************************************************** Deep in the dark, damp Biblecave, Bibleman is suiting up with his favorite superhero gear while reviewing the latest threats on his mega-computer. Bobbin comes flying down the stairs into the Biblecave complaining about his tights as the Bible phone rings. Bibleman answers, "unh-hu...yup...yup, I'm on it Comissioner!" Bibleman hangs up, turns to Bobbin and whines, "three of the top members of the Ebbil Athiest Consipricy [sic] have escaped!" Bobbin, "Holy pidophiles [sic] Bibleman! Which ones?!" Bibleman, "The first one is the worst...none other than...
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Post by Thejebusfire on May 5, 2010 1:19:00 GMT -5
Bibleman: "RICHARD DAWKINS" **Thats, all I have right now.  ** |
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Post by bigjilm on May 5, 2010 8:08:36 GMT -5
** That's quite alright  ** Bobbin, "you mean... Richard Dawkins, the alter-ego of the "Evilutionator?" Bibleman, "exactly Bobbin, he's the leader -and he's responsible for horrible crimes like planting all those fake dino bones to cause confusion! Call the Fundy League for backup, because it only gets worse!" Bobbin, giddy, dials the Biblephone, "Hello, Cybo-Palin? ...we got big problems..." |
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Post by chad sexington on May 5, 2010 8:39:47 GMT -5
... "Sorry honey," Cybo-Palin interrupted, "I've got problems of my own. Someone on the internet made fun of me last week, and I have to find out who it is so I can sue them into oblivion! See you soon though, you betcha!"
Disappointed, Bibleman slumped down in his chair.
"No time to rest, Mr Bibleman Sir," Bobbin shouted, "look who's on tv!"
For it was none other than...
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Post by bigjilm on May 5, 2010 9:09:57 GMT -5
...Limbaugh the Hutt, engaged in a colossal battle with a brown paper bag!  Bibleman shutters, "Looks like he'll be busy for awhile." Bobbin, "...wait Bibleman! incoming call on the internets!" Suddenly, the screen focuses and it's Disco Hannity, obviously somewhere in Arizona, stuttering and nearly crying "...you gotta help me Bibleman ...it's...it's terrifying!" Bobbin, "what is it? What's wrong?" Disco Hannity, "I see brown people!!!!!!!" |
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Post by Ian1732 on May 5, 2010 18:15:10 GMT -5
"Brown People!?" Exclaimed Bibleman. "The Evilutionator must be behind this!"
"Quick, Bibleman, we've got to get to the Christmobile!" Shouted Bobbin.
Bibleman did a triple backflip from his chair and landed in the cockpit of the Christmobile...
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Post by bigjilm on May 6, 2010 9:03:03 GMT -5
...while Bobbin tries to slide through the passenger side window, Dukes-of-Hazard style.
The Christmobile, which was actually just an overly huge pick-up truck with a bad paint job, ripped out of the Biblecave so fast that the gun rack rattled off the back window, smacking Bobbin in the head.
By the time they got into town, they were too late. Members of the Fundy League were already on the scene. As they pull up to the carnage, they spotted Mann Coulter using his Adam's Apple Attack(TM) on the defeated Evilutionator!
The Evilutionator, bleeding and bruised, reaches into his coat pocket as he gasps, "...now you face my ultimate secret weapon..."
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Post by stormwarden on May 8, 2010 3:26:42 GMT -5
"TROJAN MAN!"
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Post by Ian1732 on May 9, 2010 8:10:22 GMT -5
A large robot made entirely of condoms dropped down from the sky. It had to be at least three stories tall! With a swift movement of its feet, it managed to crush the Christmobile in a single step!
"Wahahahaha!" Laughed the Evilutionator as Trojan Man wiped out the entirety of the Fundy League with a single blast of its AIDS amplification beam.
"Holy Pumpkin-eating-Tyrannosaurs, Bibleman!" Screeched Bobbin. "Without the rest of the Fundy League, there's no way we can stop the Evilutionator!"
"We don't got our guns, either!" Said Bibleman.
"And reinforcements have yet to arrive!" Roared the Evilutionator as he shoved Mann Coulter's unconscious body off of himself.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a creepy looking guy (Like the one from your math class) wearing clown makeup pounced on Bobbin's back!
"Napoleon! Good to see you have arrived!" Sneered the Evilutionator...
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Post by CtraK on May 9, 2010 18:09:05 GMT -5
There now follows a
This will be a romantic subplot intended to add precisely zero (0) narrative depth to proceedings. It will be added with a tacked-on factor of 99.9%, and will be targeted with a shame factor of 0.0 at a demographic of individuals denoted in market research as gender (F) age (18-49), with a success factor of <unknown>*. Readers are advised to disregard this development; if response is deemed necessary, said response should take the form of either light to moderate annoyance, or a sigh expressing boredom at the apparent inevitability of the development.
The plot will now resume...*this shit clearly works for Hollywood, or else they wouldn't keep doing it. The thing is, how? |
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Post by bigjilm on May 10, 2010 12:54:50 GMT -5
...the story goes into slow-motion as the clown jumps upon Bobbin; music from Dirty Dancing kicks in "I've had...the time of my li-ife!" fills Bobbin's head as he smiles back at the clown for a split second, until he notices Bibleman giving him the evil eye, causing Bobbin to overact and overreact, "bah! Get off me! Bibleman, HELP! It's TEH GHEYZ!!!"
Napolean, "who the hell put me in the story!" as he shakes the script!
Improvising, Bibleman reaches into his belt, grabs some capsules and throws them at the clown, "Thank Jesus for Bible-lube!" which gives Bobbin the chance to wiggle free from the clown and they somehow manage to escape without being noticed (Bible-logic, sorry). The clown said to hell with this and exited stage left.
Bibleman expresses the need to call for more backup. Bobbin, "Who can stand up to safe sex like that?! Who should we call, Bibleman? Repression Girl? Jerry Fistwell? Wife-Beater?"
Bibleman, "Relax Bobbin. There's only one who can stand up to profolactics [...oops! - sic] like that..."
Bobbin, "you don't mean..."
Bibleman, "yes...none other than...
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Post by chad sexington on May 10, 2010 22:03:30 GMT -5
..."Chastity Girl!"
When her name was called, Chastity Girl came! "Just say no!" she chanted, pushing her illegitimate child back into the shadows. Then she gasped.
"Bibleman! Did you just say... prophylactics?"
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Post by bigjilm on May 11, 2010 12:28:40 GMT -5
...Bibleman (played by ...um... Mel Gibson), embarrassed, "um...yeah...well, they didn't exactly have a proper sex ed class at Tea Party trailer park Headquarters High School, trailer 231, where I got me ma'edumacated."
Bobbin snorts, "didn't have a good spelling program either!"
Bibleman turns, giving Bobbin another evil eye, "Shut it Bobbin, or you'll get another Bible-bitch slap! At least I didn't go to Pat Robertson's Cracker Institute like you did!"
Chastity Girl interrupts, "damned right! They's shouldn't a' be a' teachun yungins 'bout no sex -that's Uncle Gramma-Daughter's Job!"
Bibleman and Bobbin knew this to be true. Chastity Girl was the leader of the "No sex for you" club and they were very militant about other people's sex lives.
Uncle Gramma-Daughter was second-in command, who just now arrived on the scene..., "what's the problem, Chastity Girl?"
Chastity Girl, "Well...
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Dang, forgot to include casting roles as we introduce characters - feel free to cast !
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Post by tolpuddlemartyr on May 13, 2010 2:09:31 GMT -5
...my water broke, again!"
"damnmit Chastity Girl", growled Bibleman. "How do you expect us to fight crime if every time I see you, you bring more of God's little bundles of joy into the world?"
"What little you know Bibleman" chortled Chastity Girl, "it is in fact my secret weapon. Elijah, Billy Bob, Cletus, Erin, Beau, Hannah, Wade, Jordan, Elrod, Tiberieus, Moses, Wendy, Thaddeus, James, Shereen, Horace, Eustace!" she barked. Suddenly there was a rumble like rolling thunder caused by dozens of unshod feet. "Sic the Evilutionator!"
"Hey, no fair!" wailed the Evilutionator, limbs flailing as he struggled to fend off the oncoming horde. "I didn't get to bring my own army." "Oh baby I'm just getting started" purred Chastity Girl, "They's just the ones I had when I was thirteen!"
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Post by bigjilm on May 14, 2010 7:40:48 GMT -5
...a horde of children break the rubber shielding on the robot as Chastity Girl finishes it off. The 14 year olds arrive and tackle the Evilutionator to the ground, biting his knees and ankles.
Evilutionator tries to repel the children with a science book but Uncle Gramma-Daughter round-house kicks it from his hands just as he was about to open to the chapter on Cognitive Dissonance. The children shouted in unison, "we don't like them books wif words!"
Bibleman pipes in as he's cuffing Evilutionator, "Except the Bible, right kids!"
Kids, "Right!"
Bibleman and Bobbin pass out Chick tracts and recite Bible passages to the youngsters and decide to call it a night. They head back to the Manor to get some well-deserved rest.
That night, Bobbin has a terrible nightmare...
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**
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