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Post by devilschaplain2 on Oct 1, 2010 20:36:37 GMT -5
Suicide in the LGBT community is all over the news at the moment, especially with the recent cases of Tyler Clementi and Billy Lucas. Upon hearing the news of Lucas' suicide, openly gay columnist Dan Savage wrote, "I wish I could have talked to this kid for five minutes. I wish I could have told Billy that it gets better. I wish I could have told him that, however bad things were, however isolated and alone he was, it gets better." Well, now Savage has started the "It Gets Better Project", in which he and other people will create videos of themselves describing how life gets better for LGBT people and that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (a cliche, but true). Here is his video: I sent this info to my friends online and thought maybe some of the good folks on FSTDT would like to join in and make videos of their own. If you don't make a video, then please pass this info to other people in case you have friends/relatives who might participate. Let's help combat the virus of anti-LGBT bullying!
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Oct 1, 2010 20:54:56 GMT -5
I hope the campaign can make a positive impact. It's really tragic that so many young lives are lost because of intolerance. While I'm not gay and therefore haven't experienced the type of intolerance that LGBT teenagers are subject to, I do know what it's like to be bullied for other reasons & I've witnessed what some of my friends have gone through thanks to homophobic pricks, so I have a ton of empathy for these kids. Being a teenager is hard enough as it is without having one more thing to worry about.
Fuck homophobia, fuck prejudice, fuck intolerance.
Edit: Aw, the video is really moving.
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Post by Shane for Wax on Oct 1, 2010 23:00:20 GMT -5
I dealt with prejudice by the parents of the marching band. They didn't want me to go to competitions or to band camp where we'd have to sleep over. I didn't know about this until my parents told me. I thought it was because I was handicapped. But I had friends who told me about it, as well as my parents.
It sucks, especially since there were a couple of openly gay males at my school who everyone was okay with. Why I was targeted I have no idea.
It really does feel like you're alone, that you have nobody. I got over it, brushing it off but not before I stopped talking about much of anything. Not before I became depressed, introverted, wrote dark short stories. Even attempted suicide because not only was I handicapped but I was also not straight. That was a double whammy.
I didn't even have to look for the project on facebook, I had one of my friends invite me before I could find it.
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Post by The_L on Oct 2, 2010 5:28:48 GMT -5
I've never been in an actual relationship with another woman, nor have I moved out of my parents' house (which is one of the reasons for the first part of this sentence).
Otherwise, I'd be all over this.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Oct 2, 2010 18:32:43 GMT -5
I've never been in an actual relationship with another woman, nor have I moved out of my parents' house (which is one of the reasons for the first part of this sentence). Otherwise, I'd be all over this. Well, like I said, if you don't feel like making a video then you can still tell other people about the project ;D So you can still be all over this.
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Post by Shane for Wax on Oct 2, 2010 19:04:32 GMT -5
I don't think you need to have been in a relationship with another woman or experienced bullying to make a vid.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Oct 2, 2010 23:52:18 GMT -5
Some of the ones that stuck out:
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Post by Random Guy on Oct 3, 2010 13:13:40 GMT -5
While I did not identify as or even realize I was bisexual until college, my experience in middle and high school has been enlightening as to the danger faced by gay people, especially gay males, in that environment.
Especially in middle school and early high school, there is a huge amount of pressure on males to be as super-masculine as possible. Do anything that isn't stereotypically masculine and you're instantly labeled as gay, effeminate, and made into a punching bag.
It's not simply being beat up (unless you hit the bullies first, then they can beat you up "in self defense" and walk away while you get punished for it), most of what happens is verbal and psychological in nature. People will throw around "gay" as the ultimate insult, males who are not acting like the hypermasculine stereotype will have bullies pretending to hit on them, etc.
This happened to me a lot, so it is not difficult to understand the kind of hell that openly gay males must have to go through at that stage and why many commit suicide.
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xotan
Full Member
Posts: 112
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Post by xotan on Oct 3, 2010 15:50:44 GMT -5
Yes, it does get better. that message needs to be hammered home.
I'm in my 60s now and although I suffered a lot from loneliness in my teenage years, somehow I managed to channel that into productive things like music (I play two instruments, compose, sing in a choir, conduct a choir), studies, reading, writing and many other areas that continue to give me great enjoyment in life.
Then one day the loneliness was over. I met my partner, and we have been together now 37 years.
Despite the loneliness, and the obvious fact I was not dating, never in my life have I been taken to task about my sexuality. In fact, I have never encountered any hostility. I lived in Ireland quite openly with my partner and people there certainly knew the score. It didn't stop them inviting us to their parties, weddings, christenings and other events. My choirs here in France don't think it's an issue, and the small village where I live (300 people) are totally accepting.
Of course there is homophobia in Ireland and in France. But it does not have legal or societal approval. This is an indication of the growing cultural difference between these countries, the rest of the Eurounion and the US. This difference is marked in many ways, but for the purpose of this discussion laws in these, and other European countries make the kind of behaviour we read about in American schools illegal here. Here proving one's masculinity is not the big thing that it seems to be in America... One wonders, therefore, what this overstress on being utterly ueber-male signifies in the American psyche?
I fear that until America introduces gender anti-discrimination laws the jocks in schools will still be striving to be be what they already are - male, possibly in fear of being thought anything else, and the reckless and irrresponsible catcalling and stigmatisation will continue with its predictable outcome. In my view, the persecution of those who are different is an expression of an insecurity, probably rooted in Biblical religion.
Has anyone marked out on a map where these suicides are occurring? I would not be surprised if the events clustered in the southern US.
Having had such an easy ride in life with my sexual self-identity, all I can say is thank whatever gods for atheism and the European drift in that direction. All I can hope is that American legislators have the maleness and the balls to introduce laws to protect the country's children. Now that would be a real indication of maleness and having balls! But I fear the US is deeply in denial that homosexuality is as natural and normal as heterosexuality, so the suicides may well be likely to continue.
So, yes, things will get better, but not in American schools unless America acts; and what will be the cost in young lives for any delay?.
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Post by Old Viking on Oct 3, 2010 17:08:04 GMT -5
Addressing this general philosophical principle and life in general, my brother used to say, "Things always seem darkest just before it gets really goddamned good and dark."
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Post by The_L on Oct 4, 2010 5:41:20 GMT -5
Of course there is homophobia in Ireland and in France. But it does not have legal or societal approval. This is an indication of the growing cultural difference between these countries, the rest of the Eurounion and the US. This difference is marked in many ways, but for the purpose of this discussion laws in these, and other European countries make the kind of behaviour we read about in American schools illegal here. Here proving one's masculinity is not the big thing that it seems to be in America... One wonders, therefore, what this overstress on being utterly ueber-male signifies in the American psyche? I've always thought the U.S. ideas of masculinity and femininity were way out of whack. If masculinity is such a fragile thing that it can be threatened by: - your wife happening to have more education than you; - your wife having a job, regardless of how much more or less it pays than your job; - being gay; - being thought of by others as gay, whether you actually are or not; - enjoying musicals; - liking "girly" drinks like wine coolers; - hugging your friends in the wrong way (I swear, fraternities are just secret-hug-handshake drinking clubs at some schools I've been to); - being a virgin or not having "enough" sex (a lot of rape cases in fraternities and the military can probably be ascribed to this); then why the FUCK do we care about it so much? It clearly can't hold up on its own merits. Let it be what it is and stop stressing.
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Post by Shane for Wax on Oct 4, 2010 8:46:15 GMT -5
As someone said on Twitter (massive paraphrase cause I can't find the right tweet) : With the Gov't striking down DADT and the whole gay marriage battle, it's no surprise that teens think it's okay to bully gay people. If the gov't makes it seem okay, teens will think it's okay.
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Post by Bezron on Oct 4, 2010 8:52:00 GMT -5
- liking "girly" drinks like wine coolers; I was with you right up until this. This one is inexcusable!
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Oct 4, 2010 17:38:00 GMT -5
- liking "girly" drinks like wine coolers; I was with you right up until this. This one is inexcusable! I'll have a Zima.
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Post by The Lazy One on Oct 4, 2010 17:49:58 GMT -5
[ - liking "girly" drinks like wine coolers; Bleh. Wine coolers taste like crap. Red wine is where it's at. And hot buttered rum. That shit's amazing.
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