Emergency!: True Stories From The Nation's ERs

[Sunglasses Hitler]

Anyone else read this book? Even in these times of high unemployment within the United States I still do not envy those medical personnel working in emergency rooms. Over the years they effectively learn life lessons that would cause a normal person to claw his or her eyes out.
No, I am not going to torrent the book for you. Go buy it.

www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312962657/ref=nosim/studentdoctor-20

However, I can provide a link to forum topic where you will learn all sorts of fun (and by fun I mean horrifying) stuff. A sort of free sample.

forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae, including falls from 3 stories, stabbings (chest, neck, head, slashings to the face), gunshot wounds (chest, neck, pelvis, leg, traumatic arrest (only to be killed 7 years later in a separate GSW incident)), and high speed MVC's, unrestrained, where multiple people in the other vehicle are killed.
- Member 19492

The below post, brb vomiting.

forums.studentdoctor.net/showpost.php?p=3335901&postcount=177

Originally posted by AznTrojan-MS
not an ER story.. but i have a good one from non-trauma surg..
when you get tired of vaginal or anal sex.. try transverse colon.. there are individuals out there who will pay 1000 bucks a pop to screw a colostomy patient (yes.. the colostomy).. more amazingly is there are prostitutes who sell their colostomy..

Hey, we had that in our ED! A gay dude that ended up with rectal CA, and got a colostomy - then ended up with the clap in his colostomy!
-Member 19492

[Dragon Zachski]

#6 Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

It's funny because it's people making an excuse for experimentation.

That being said, as desperate as I am, I don't think I could handle even being a nurse's aid, let alone a nurse, let alone a doctor.

[clockworkgirl21]

My aunt is a nurse, and she said one day they had this guy come in totally naked (with a towel around him) with deep cuts all over his penis. He said he was showering and fell through the shower door. They were obviously suspicious because if that were true, he'd have cuts all over, not just his penis. They were thinking it might be domestic violence, so they questioned his wife who came in to pick him up. She said, "The shower door isn't even broken." Turns out he was jacking off into a glass bottle and it broke.

[ltfred]

It's hilarious how illiterate good, qualified doctors seem to be.

[ldm]

I was temping at a hospital about a year ago, and there was an NP their who used to work in the ER, and she said you wouldn't believe the things people stick in various orifices. Not always accidentally, or for sexual reasons either, it's often done on a dare or a bet, or because they were drunk. The best story she told us was one about a guy who stuck a golf ball up his butt. They had to send him to surgery to remove it.

And yes, more than one person made the "hole in one" joke.

[tygerarmy]

Aug 20, 2011 21:42:12 GMT -5 ldm said:

I was temping at a hospital about a year ago, and there was an NP their who used to work in the ER, and she said you wouldn't believe the things people stick in various orifices. Not always accidentally, or for sexual reasons either, it's often done on a dare or a bet, or because they were drunk. The best story she told us was one about a guy who stuck a golf ball up his butt. They had to send him to surgery to remove it.

And yes, more than one person made the "hole in one" joke.

He got a hole in one on hole number two!