Nyarai
Junior Member
Posts: 63
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Post by Nyarai on May 9, 2009 16:04:45 GMT -5
Apparently, someone thought that my college town is an awesome place to pick up new converts, so I got a knock on my door at around noon (a decent hour at least). I'm greeted by two Asians (I think Japanese, the woman's name was Keiko), and the guy (Bob) opens up with a usual spiel about how shitty everything is and what the solution was. I managed to keep a hold on my tongue and leave comments at 'I'm guessing the answer is Christianity.' (At this point I was just hoping I could wrap up quickly so they would leave, but I wasn't feeling confident enough to ask them to.)
I was right and they left off with a pamphlet and apparently want to come back next week. I started flipping through the thing (it quoted the New World Translation, which I only know as 'one of those Bibles that fundamentalists think is heretical') and when I get to the back, it finally mentions what sect these guys are from.
Jehovah's Witnesses.
In hindsight, I really should have guessed, since JWs have visited the house twice before, but I figure they would have specified or something. Oh wise and mighty Dante's Virgil M.A. (or anyone else who's savvy about JWs), is this standard operating procedure?
Man, I'm still kinda pissed (I had a blood transfusion at age two-and-a-half, you see, and the fact that an entire sect of people thinks I should have just bled internally to death fills me up to my eyeballs with rage).
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Post by Armand Tanzarian on May 9, 2009 16:21:52 GMT -5
I claim allegiance to the Doctor. You can choose any other fake faith if you like.
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Nyarai
Junior Member
Posts: 63
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Post by Nyarai on May 9, 2009 16:32:44 GMT -5
I claim allegiance to the Doctor. You can choose any other fake faith if you like. No thanks. I'm too indecisive to pick any kind of faith, so I'm gonna stick with being agnostic. Though if I were to pick a fake faith, it would totally be Pastafarianism.  |
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Post by Sandafluffoid on May 9, 2009 16:36:05 GMT -5
I read the title as "Gay missionaries", I only got this far before I realised it wasn't the script to a porn movie:
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Zabimaru
Full Member
Always amused and bemused
Posts: 241
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Post by Zabimaru on May 9, 2009 16:57:58 GMT -5
Bah, I feel the need to vent about JW at times. They come and knock on my door fairly often and they've really started to bother me.
They didn't really bother me before; I mean it's a bit of a nuisance to be interrupted in something to go answer the door and it's boring to listen to their talk about a Lord I don't believe in. But still, they feel harmless and I know that they're just doing what they think is right.
But I've started reading the material they hand out; the Watchtower, Awake! and various other pamphlets, and I'm frankly appalled by a lot of it. I really don't like a lot of the stuff that they try to teach people.
The transfusion thing is an obvious example. Another bad example I saw recently was a pamphlet entitled something along the lines of "The man is the head of the household."
It was dedicated to misogynistic, semi-biblical drivel about how the husband should have total control over his wife and children. They had tried to make it a bit more acceptable by making some concessions, but in my eyes they mostly made it worse.
It was filled with lines like "Of course the wife can take part in the decision making process, but she must always remember that her husband has the final word in a potential disagreement." And there was a lot about how "modern women" can very well handle the day-to-day tasks of managing household finances and making decisions concerning that.
Reading the pamphlet made it obvious that they wanted to say that women may (sometimes) speak, but their opinions are ultimately worthless if their husband disagrees with them. And women are welcome to handle tedious, minor paperwork and boring tasks like grocery shopping in any way they want - so they can feel like a part of the team. Until their husband decides that they're doing something wrong that is, then they should sit down, listen and do better next time dammit!
I mean, sure, I know that there are a lot of people who think that way. I would love to live in a world where that isn't true, but I'm enough of a realist to know that I won't live in such a world very soon. But I would really want to live in a world where sexist opinions like that aren't so (apparently) socially acceptable that they can feel comfortable coming to my home totally unsolicited and give me pamphlets about it.
They could at least have the common decency to act a bit ashamed of their misogynistic views. Not write long texts about it and spread them far and wide.
On a brighter note, Sanda's interpretation was most entertaining. Gay Asian missionaries sounds like a lot more fun than JW.
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Post by Vene on May 9, 2009 17:04:26 GMT -5
I was hoping this was about the missionary position, then I realized I wasn't in NSFW.
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Post by antichrist on May 9, 2009 17:58:27 GMT -5
The rotts seem to keep them at bay, although why the hell they have to knock before they leave their shit in my mailbox is beyond me.
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Post by Vypernight on May 9, 2009 18:18:05 GMT -5
Man, I'm still kinda pissed (I had a blood transfusion at age two-and-a-half, you see, and the fact that an entire sect of people thinks I should have just bled internally to death fills me up to my eyeballs with rage). You should've mentioned this part to them. If they can't take no for an answer, then you're free to say what you wish. Forget holding your tongue, tell them exactly why you hate their bigoted, self-serving @$$es and then slam the door in their faces. They sound like they deserve it. |
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Dio Fa
New Member
Forgive me Lord for I got caught
Posts: 43
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Post by Dio Fa on May 9, 2009 18:49:22 GMT -5
I have a sign on my front door which reads: No Solicitation Please When someone comes to the door, trying to sell something (including religion), I pretend to get all pissy and give them this basic spiel: (with certain variations, of course) Are you blind? <very brief pause> Are you illiterate? <another brief pause before pointing to the sign> Did you see this sign? <another brief pause> What makes you so damned special that you can disrespect this household's wishes? <another brief pause> Get the fuck off my porch and tell your <organization/cult/other> to stay off my property! Or else! <slams door> <cracks up laughing> It seems to be working. |
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Post by Rat Of Steel on May 9, 2009 19:27:06 GMT -5
I have a sign on my front door which reads: No Solicitation Please When someone comes to the door, trying to sell something (including religion), I pretend to get all pissy and give them this basic spiel: (with certain variations, of course) Are you blind? <very brief pause> Are you illiterate? <another brief pause before pointing to the sign> Did you see this sign? <another brief pause> What makes you so damned special that you can disrespect this household's wishes? <another brief pause> Get the fuck off my porch and tell your <organization/cult/other> to stay off my property! Or else! <slams door> <cracks up laughing> It seems to be working. Next time, if you want to see them leave a sonic boom in the wake of their departure, just chase them away with the dildo. ;D  PS: Thanks to that thread, I now have my own copy of Civilization. Anyone else fancy a game or two?  |
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Dio Fa
New Member
Forgive me Lord for I got caught
Posts: 43
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Post by Dio Fa on May 9, 2009 19:56:44 GMT -5
[quote author=ratofsteel board=preach thread=1075 post=35542 time=1241915226} *pffft* Next time, if you want to see them leave a sonic boom in the wake of their departure, just chase them away with the dildo. ;D PS: Thanks to that thread, I now have my own copy of Civilization. Anyone else fancy a game or two? [/quote] I want pictorial evidence of the effectiveness of this method in action. |
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Nyarai
Junior Member
Posts: 63
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Post by Nyarai on May 9, 2009 21:07:52 GMT -5
Man, I'm still kinda pissed (I had a blood transfusion at age two-and-a-half, you see, and the fact that an entire sect of people thinks I should have just bled internally to death fills me up to my eyeballs with rage). You should've mentioned this part to them. If they can't take no for an answer, then you're free to say what you wish. Forget holding your tongue, tell them exactly why you hate their bigoted, self-serving @$$es and then slam the door in their faces. They sound like they deserve it. Two things: 1) I didn't know they were Jehovah's Witnesses until after they left and 2) It's sort of hard to unleash the fury at an older, foreign born couple. |
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Post by dasfuchs on May 9, 2009 21:27:12 GMT -5
I claim allegiance to the Doctor. You can choose any other fake faith if you like. That wouldn't by chance be the great Doctor Steel would it? |
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Post by Rat Of Steel on May 9, 2009 21:29:22 GMT -5
I claim allegiance to the Doctor. You can choose any other fake faith if you like. That wouldn't by chance be the great Doctor Steel would it? I'm flattered, I really am; however, I only play a doctor on TV. |
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Post by Dr. Waldorf X on May 10, 2009 1:56:07 GMT -5
That wouldn't by chance be the great Doctor Steel would it? I'm flattered, I really am; however, I only play a doctor on TV. |
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