Crappy short story

[spaniel]

It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts

My name is Peter Mattias. How could this happen? I got a letter detailing

the death of my dear son. He was only eight years old, but his body was found

in an apartment building. He had been missing for days. The killer was never

caught. Why why why why why why… My son …his name was

Walter. He didn’t do anything. His corpse had a slashed throat, and his

fingers were broken. His eyes his eyes were gone i’m having nightmares

again. I loved him. We played soccer on summer nights. We played Super

Smash Bros on rainy weekends. I comforted him when he was sick. He

was innocent. His birthday was a week ago and I had baked a cake…ever

since his mother died, it’s been hard. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.

Why was dear Walter taken from me? No one else loves me. How do I

deal with this? He’s gone why is he gone help me i cant deal help

me. There’s too many memories. There was the time when he was wide

awake at midnight and we played glow-in-the-dark Frisbee. There was

the time when it was cold and rainy, so we played Super Smash Bros and

I beat him as Kirby for my first time and we laughed and laughed. I’m

afraid nightmares are getting worse i miss him i miss him it

hurts help me. Help me.


Made a while ago as a sarcastic effort to spite a stupid creative writing teacher. Feel free to flame me and threaten my cats for this piece of crap. Constructive criticism is good too.(I have improved slightly since this attempt.)

[Admiral Lithp]

I don't get it. What was the backstory with this teacher that you wanted to spite them?

[spaniel]

She would give us a relatively open-ended assignment, and then complain that it wasn't "how she wanted it." I actually wanted to write creatively, and I was sick of her constant facade of spirituality and wholesomeness, so I whipped this up. Hey, she called something I put a lot of effort into garbage, so I was a bit pissed. She didn't like me because I wrote creepy style stories and stuff. Yawn. To put it in not-gibberish, I wanted to write something dark, creative, and slightly psychological and she didn't like that. She preferred non-fiction , constrained babble.

[Mira]

Jul 2, 2009 3:39:43 GMT -5 spaniel said:

My name is Peter Mattias

10/10

Would read again.

[HarleyThomas1002]

Jul 2, 2009 3:52:37 GMT -5 spaniel said:

She would give us a relatively open-ended assignment, and then complain that it wasn't "how she wanted it." I actually wanted to write creatively, and I was sick of her constant facade of spirituality and wholesomeness, so I whipped this up. Hey, she called something I put a lot of effort into garbage, so I was a bit pissed. She didn't like me because I wrote creepy style stories and stuff. Yawn. To put it in not-gibberish, I wanted to write something dark, creative, and slightly psychological and she didn't like that. She preferred non-fiction , constrained babble.

You can write both dark and non-fiction. I did that for a grade 9 health assignment and got 10/10 on it.

Sucks that I ended up throwing the two stories out.

[spaniel]

I can write creative non-fiction, but elements of creativity are squashed when you get an assignment like "write about
your shoulder angel and devil angel, but if you don't do it right you are getting an F."

[Admiral Lithp]

Meh. My complaint is that it doesn't invoke an emotional response in me, which I think is what was intended. Not a "piece of crap," it just doesn't live up to its potential.

And anyone who threatens any cats fucking dies. You all get me?

Your teacher sounds like an airhead. I hope Mr. Hermenau isn't replaced with someone like her, because I signed up for Creative Writing next year, & he's accepted a job somewhere else.

[schizophonic]

Jul 2, 2009 13:03:34 GMT -5 spaniel said:

I can write creative non-fiction, but elements of creativity are squashed when you get an assignment like "write about
your shoulder angel and devil angel, but if you don't do it right you are getting an F."

I used to hate that in college.