|
Post by malicious_bloke on Dec 19, 2009 6:36:35 GMT -5
It seems at present there are only two "sides" in the argument about climate change: those who point at the continued existence of snow as evidence it is not happening at all; and those who believe that the continued right of people to hold personal property and the fact we no longer live in an agrarian dictatorship is in fact killing the world and if we'd just let ourselves be marched out in the paddy fields at gunpoint we could SAVE THE WORLD!
Both of these respective bands of idiots are missing the real problem:
ATEN IS ANGRY.
The only way for us to reverse the path to destruction we are leading ourselves down is to make a sacrifice to the exalted sun disc. Given the evident scale of the problem, we will need to sacrifice quite a lot of people, however, so I have taken the liberty of drawing up a list of people who should be first before the firing squad on the sacrificial altar.
Gingers. Nobody really wants them here and they still bleed well enough, Aten would be more than happy to feast upon them even if they are soulless golems.
Emo Kids. The sheer energy of their whining annoyingness would provide great sustenance to Our Master.
Communists. People that deluded probably wouldn't notice the sacrificial blade descending anyway, it's no loss.
Creationists. Aten will show them just how wrong they were.
The French.
This may or may not be enough blood to satisfy Aten, more may be needed at a later date.
|
|
FrizzleFry
Full Member
Some Really Interesting Guy
Posts: 147
|
Post by FrizzleFry on Dec 19, 2009 7:35:40 GMT -5
I'm glad to see there are reasonable people left to tackle this issue with some sort of levelheadedness (is that a word? if not, it should totally be one!)
But if I just might be so bold as to give a slight suggestion: Does it always have to be the French? Can't we go for some shittier place.. like... I dunno.. Belgium? Or Portugal? Surely there are loads of good things that we can thank the French people for. Like cheese. Mmm... cheese... *drool* But seriously, what have Belgium or Portugal ever given the world? Apart from massmurdering colonialism and Cristiano Ronaldo...
|
|
|
Post by Bluefinger on Dec 19, 2009 8:37:55 GMT -5
I'm glad to see there are reasonable people left to tackle this issue with some sort of levelheadedness (is that a word? if not, it should totally be one!) But if I just might be so bold as to give a slight suggestion: Does it always have to be the French? Can't we go for some shittier place.. like... I dunno.. Belgium? Or Portugal? Surely there are loads of good things that we can thank the French people for. Like cheese. Mmm... cheese... *drool* But seriously, what have Belgium or Portugal ever given the world? Apart from massmurdering colonialism and Cristiano Ronaldo... I'm going to have to murder you for that... though as a Portuguese fellow, I concede that Cristiano Ronaldo should be sacrificed anyway (most footballers should be sacrificed). I nominate the Spanish instead for sacrifice. Because I can.
|
|
|
Post by malicious_bloke on Dec 19, 2009 9:29:14 GMT -5
if genocide against the french is now passe, the italians are surely next on the list.
Fuckin pikey scum
|
|
FrizzleFry
Full Member
Some Really Interesting Guy
Posts: 147
|
Post by FrizzleFry on Dec 19, 2009 9:58:52 GMT -5
I'm glad to see there are reasonable people left to tackle this issue with some sort of levelheadedness (is that a word? if not, it should totally be one!) But if I just might be so bold as to give a slight suggestion: Does it always have to be the French? Can't we go for some shittier place.. like... I dunno.. Belgium? Or Portugal? Surely there are loads of good things that we can thank the French people for. Like cheese. Mmm... cheese... *drool* But seriously, what have Belgium or Portugal ever given the world? Apart from massmurdering colonialism and Cristiano Ronaldo... I'm going to have to murder you for that... though as a Portuguese fellow, I concede that Cristiano Ronaldo should be sacrificed anyway (most footballers should be sacrificed). I nominate the Spanish instead for sacrifice. Because I can. To be honest, It's just Ronaldo I have a problem with. So if we just put him on the sacrificing list I'm satisfied, and the 'Who-should-we-genocide?" debate can go on.
|
|
|
Post by MaybeNever on Dec 19, 2009 10:28:56 GMT -5
The only cheese worth having is Cheddar, which is from Britain, with Provolone, an Italian cheese, coming in second.
|
|
|
Post by malicious_bloke on Dec 19, 2009 10:48:05 GMT -5
I'm going to have to murder you for that... though as a Portuguese fellow, I concede that Cristiano Ronaldo should be sacrificed anyway (most footballers should be sacrificed). I nominate the Spanish instead for sacrifice. Because I can. To be honest, It's just Ronaldo I have a problem with. So if we just put him on the sacrificing list I'm satisfied, and the 'Who-should-we-genocide?" debate can go on. It isnt so much who-should-we-genocide as in-what-order-should-we-genocide
|
|
|
Post by Vene on Dec 19, 2009 13:38:48 GMT -5
To be honest, It's just Ronaldo I have a problem with. So if we just put him on the sacrificing list I'm satisfied, and the 'Who-should-we-genocide?" debate can go on. It isnt so much who-should-we-genocide as in-what-order-should-we-genocide Engineer HIV so it can be an airborne virus and let it figure out the answer.
|
|
|
Post by cagnazzo on Dec 19, 2009 14:36:02 GMT -5
It isnt so much who-should-we-genocide as in-what-order-should-we-genocide Engineer HIV so it can be an airborne virus and let it figure out the answer. You and your pansy-assed viruses. Aerosolize rabies. That'll do the trick. Unless you wanted someone to be alive after the thing. Then it might do more than the trick.
|
|
|
Post by Mira on Dec 19, 2009 14:49:21 GMT -5
Howabout Liechtenstein? No one will even realise they're gone...
|
|
|
Post by Vene on Dec 19, 2009 14:58:00 GMT -5
Engineer HIV so it can be an airborne virus and let it figure out the answer. You and your pansy-assed viruses. Aerosolize rabies. That'll do the trick. Unless you wanted someone to be alive after the thing. Then it might do more than the trick. There's been survivors of both HIV and rabies (okay, only one survivor of rabies), so we need a mutli-pathogen approach. Or prions, but, seriously, fuck prions.
|
|
|
Post by Ranger Joe on Dec 19, 2009 15:05:42 GMT -5
The only cheese worth having is Cheddar, which is from Britain, with Provolone, an Italian cheese, coming in second. ::.357 round to the chest:: Die Heretic! Pepper Jack and Brie are the true path to Cheesy Enlightenment!
|
|
|
Post by canadian mojo on Dec 19, 2009 17:52:11 GMT -5
But seriously, what have Belgium or Portugal ever given the world? Apart from massmurdering colonialism and Cristiano Ronaldo... Well Belgium does have a lot of good beer. Might want to reconsider the ginger thing. Most of us are crazy, violent, and well armed.
|
|
|
Post by Old Viking on Dec 19, 2009 17:55:42 GMT -5
@malicious_bloke: you have given this matter serious thought. I would offer an exalt if they were still available.
|
|
|
Post by malicious_bloke on Dec 19, 2009 18:04:37 GMT -5
But seriously, what have Belgium or Portugal ever given the world? Apart from massmurdering colonialism and Cristiano Ronaldo... Well Belgium does have a lot of good beer. Might want to reconsider the ginger thing. Most of us are crazy, violent, and well armed. So were the Nazis
|
|