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Post by caretaker on Apr 2, 2009 12:02:02 GMT -5
I had no idea where this topic would fit, so here it is!
Several quotes about fundies smacking their kids (and the memorable one where the fundie didn't want to hurt their hand so used paddles, belts, switches etc) have sprung up lately, and few of the comments agree with one another. So I'm just wondering where the regulars stand on it.
I got my fair share of bum-smacking when I was a kid, obviously back when it was legal. It was usually for doing something stupidly dangerous (yes, I was a road-runner once or twice) or going too far when fighting with my brother (he was bigger than me, so I, er, got creative). It never actually hurt - the most distressing thing was that I knew I'd really, really screwed up.
That said, I support the anti-smacking view, because how am I to know that all parents will treat it as mine did? Just because my smacks didn't hurt doesn't mean no parents hurt their kids with a smack. And objects etc are just... sick, really. But if somebody here confessed to the standard open-palm, light spank on the butt, I wouldn't accuse them of child abuse, either.
Where do you guys stand?
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Akage
Full Member
Existentialist
Posts: 207
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Post by Akage on Apr 2, 2009 12:08:32 GMT -5
I'm anti-spank. I want to teach my kids the difference between 'good' and 'bad' without using fear as a tactic.
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Post by dantesvirgil on Apr 2, 2009 12:14:44 GMT -5
Argh. I potentially see this as "one of those" topics that mushroom into disaster.  That said, I'm anti-spank. I believe spanking teaches nothing but avoidance of getting swatted. I think if you have to resort to hitting a kid, however lightly, that you've missed a chance to teach them something besides "It's OK to hit when people don't do what you want them to." For full disclosure, I spanked Dante when he was younger. I regret it. At one point in his younger childhood, I sat down and had a long think about spanking and discipline and the goals of both. I vowed I'd never spank him again. I'm a better parent for it, and he behaves better for it. I got swatted as a kid, too. Sometimes it hurt like hell, sometimes it didn't. All it taught me was not to get caught. And to be afraid of Dad, when I shouldn't have been (Mom couldn't spank as hard). So, yeah, that's my stance. |
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Post by Caitshidhe on Apr 2, 2009 12:17:26 GMT -5
I don't like SPANKINGS because they more often than not just don't solve a problem--or make it worse. It's usually the parent's frustration getting the better of them and they have no idea how to remedy the problem. But there's nothing wrong with a little swat on the back of the hand or something to stop them from doing something stupid or dangerous. Sometimes they won't listen to words and the other option is to LET THEM touch the hot stove, which would be worse.
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Post by caretaker on Apr 2, 2009 12:23:41 GMT -5
Yeah - when I was little and perpetrating dangerous activity, Mum tried to explain why it was bad, but I remember totally not understanding why. The light swats made me realise I'd done something awful - that being the only scenario when it happened - and I paid attention to what my parents told me post-smack (it's called smacking here, btw). I think it was successful because when I realised I'd done something really bad, I was more capable of listening to WHY it was bad.
I didn't make the same mistake twice, but that was more because I knew what a bad thing it was, not because I was afraid of getting a smack.
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Post by Jebediah on Apr 2, 2009 12:26:45 GMT -5
I'm pro-spanking. Like I mentioned in another thread, I was spanked as a child, and it always worked. My parents knew how to use it effectively without actually hurting us.
But I don't think spanking is for everyone, because not all parents can spank without going overboard.
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Post by Aqualung on Apr 2, 2009 12:29:37 GMT -5
I'm not sure I should comment on this thread or not, heh heh.
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Post by Caitshidhe on Apr 2, 2009 12:29:45 GMT -5
Also, a postscript here: if anybody ever DOES swat a kid, if they use anything besides their hand I will personally go over and chew their arms off. Gratuitous spankings are bad enough by themselves without there being a paddle or a belt or a wooden spoon involved. I might not like children, but I do NOT take kindly to people who abuse them.
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Post by antichrist on Apr 2, 2009 12:32:26 GMT -5
I'm fine with the quick swat, more of surprise than to cause pain. I use it on my dogs and it works well. My breeder has titled 150 dogs in Schutzhund using positive training techniques. He trains police and military dogs using positive training techniques. These are dogs that would tear your arm off if you tried to beat them (yes I could see my own puppy doing it).
If we can use positive training techniques to raise a dog, why can't we use them to raise a kid?
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Post by deliciousdemon on Apr 2, 2009 12:38:59 GMT -5
If we can use positive training techniques to raise a dog, why can't we use them to raise a kid? Because children and dogs are in completely separate cognitive universes for a start. But I only say that for the sake of argument. I was never hit as a child; well to be fair but mother once slapped my face but I think it was out of pure shock and meant to give me the same feeling, I had run into the street and almost got hit by a car. I think parents ought to discipline their kids as they see fit, within reason. It isn't really my place to say seeing as I am not even out of my early twenties yet and I don't plan on having children any time soon. |
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Akage
Full Member
Existentialist
Posts: 207
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Post by Akage on Apr 2, 2009 12:39:18 GMT -5
If we can use positive training techniques to raise a dog, why can't we use them to raise a kid? Am I the only one that has a problem with this statement?  |
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Post by antichrist on Apr 2, 2009 12:47:33 GMT -5
If we can use positive training techniques to raise a dog, why can't we use them to raise a kid? Am I the only one that has a problem with this statement? Well it should be easier to rationalize with your child. At least you speak the same language. And what the hell is wrong with telling your kid he's a "good boy" and giving him a head ruffle? |
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Post by schizophonic on Apr 2, 2009 12:53:52 GMT -5
I don't think I'd ever do it, but as long as you're not BEATING your kids, I think it's fair play.
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Post by Lady Renae on Apr 2, 2009 12:55:24 GMT -5
Am I the only one that has a problem with this statement? Well it should be easier to rationalize with your child. At least you speak the same language. And what the hell is wrong with telling your kid he's a "good boy" and giving him a head ruffle? I can see "attaboy" or "good job", but "good boy" is a little... creepy. Just my opinion though. |
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Post by deliciousdemon on Apr 2, 2009 12:58:08 GMT -5
I can see "attaboy" or "good job", but "good boy" is a little... creepy. Just my opinion though. I used to babysit a lot growing up and you'd be surprised how much I would hear that. Almost as much as 'stop eating mummy's contact lenses dam nmit!' |
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