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Post by worlder on Jul 23, 2010 10:54:15 GMT -5
Some Christian fundies honestly think that they will get paradise after their death and after the final fireworks of the universe.
But when they get there, what do they plan to do?
In many of the fundy rants they keep yacking about what humanity must do to get to heaven, but they never really touch on what to do in heaven.
In Hell you always have something to do, because it is a prison with all guards on vacation. So you always have to contend yourself with a riot there.
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Post by rookie on Jul 23, 2010 10:59:37 GMT -5
They have said to me that they will worship god. For eternity. It will be the longest reverse gang bang imaginable.
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Post by valsa on Jul 23, 2010 10:59:58 GMT -5
It's been a while since I read my Bible but I believe they basically sit around and praise God for all eternity.
So, basically, every Christian is gunning to dickride without end.
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Post by worlder on Jul 23, 2010 11:07:26 GMT -5
Haven't they heard of RPing?
Make believe.
Putting themselves in a story line where they are the hero.
It so much better than 24/7 God kissing.
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Post by valsa on Jul 23, 2010 11:18:28 GMT -5
*dislikes RP*
Well, that would just be another reason to get myself sent to hell.
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Post by priestling on Jul 23, 2010 13:18:20 GMT -5
Well, if it exists, I know I'm going to be in hell. As 2 the Ranting Gryphon puts it: 'All the cool people and my favorite rockbands are gonna be in hell, so I want to be there!'
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Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Jul 23, 2010 13:31:49 GMT -5
And if they succeed in converting people, they get a golden mansion to live in and crowns to wear while worshiping god for all eternity. Not exactly the most imaginative paradise, but there you have it.
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Post by Rapax Pringer on Jul 23, 2010 14:13:31 GMT -5
Really, I don't buy into the whole heaven concept, but I always wonder what you're able to do in heaven. Especially considering the myriad array of stupid things that fundies hate and don't want us to do (like read Harry Potter, play D&D, etc.), and the fact that "God won't allow sin in heaven".
.... Why is it that every time I think about it, heaven becomes more worse-sounding than hell?
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Post by Thejebusfire on Jul 23, 2010 14:32:52 GMT -5
They'll be worshiping god and talking to Moses.
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Post by Mira on Jul 23, 2010 14:42:17 GMT -5
Okay, here's how I saw heaven when I was a Christian.
The thing that most excited me was the prospect of being able to ask any question about the universe, history, biology, etc. and discover the answer. Having all eternity to learn all those pesky questions? Sounded awesome.
Physically, I pictured heaven as the city of New Jerusalem, of course, streets paved with gold, river flowing from the tree of life, all the good stuff. Outside the city I imagined there'd be a vast wilderness. You could go to any sort of climate and see any sort of life. I took the concept of New Earth to mean that heaven would be very much like Earth, with all the same sorts of geography and organisms, plus more we didn't have.
I also imagined there would be lots of sex. The reason god limited sex on Earth was for our own safety, right? So, since heaven would be perfect, of course there would be sex without consequences.
I also imagined that you'd get your own galactic playgrounds. A place you could go where you could play with reality. For example, creating planets that you could direct the evolution of and make your own little civilisations. In this sense I pictured heaven as the best video game in all of existence.
I always thought the people who imagined heaven as a place in the clouds were very stupid and unimaginative. The concept was completely unbiblical and utterly bland in my eyes.
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Post by dasfuchs on Jul 23, 2010 14:46:50 GMT -5
Really, I don't buy into the whole heaven concept, but I always wonder what you're able to do in heaven. Especially considering the myriad array of stupid things that fundies hate and don't want us to do (like read Harry Potter, play D&D, etc.), and the fact that "God won't allow sin in heaven". .... Why is it that every time I think about it, heaven becomes more worse-sounding than hell? Well, here's something else to think about. God runs Heaven, Satan runs Hell. In all of the recorded 'history' in the bible, Satan is sort of, kinda, very loosely responsible for the deaths of about 5 people...God on the other hand has wiped out the entire population aside from six people and continued to demand his followers to slaughter people in and for him for any reason right down to a tribe living in a land he determined, without notifying anyone, should be for his people. Personally I think spending eternity worshiping a monster like God would be a hell all it's own
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Post by Thejebusfire on Jul 23, 2010 14:50:06 GMT -5
I think they're both hells.
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Post by Old Viking on Jul 23, 2010 15:21:53 GMT -5
Have you ever noticed that those who are most intent on gaining eternal life are the same people who can't hold an intelligent conversation for five minutes? For them heaven would be a few minutes of greeting their relatives (whom they couldn't stand in this life), followed by a whole lot of silence.
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Post by katz on Jul 23, 2010 15:31:05 GMT -5
Really, I don't buy into the whole heaven concept, but I always wonder what you're able to do in heaven. Especially considering the myriad array of stupid things that fundies hate and don't want us to do (like read Harry Potter, play D&D, etc.), and the fact that "God won't allow sin in heaven". .... Why is it that every time I think about it, heaven becomes more worse-sounding than hell? My Heaven would be actually being in a D&D group. And I can switch between groups and sessions at will. With fourth-wall breaks for pizza and sci-fi novels, of course.
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Post by matante on Jul 23, 2010 15:39:58 GMT -5
In His infinite wisdom, Isaak Asimov wrote a short story describing heaven. People no longer felt hunger, lust or pain, had no work to do and nothing to fear, people went in their primordial nakedness without feeling anything for the beauty or ugliness of bodies. Pretty soon, the protagonist realised they were actually in hell, but a more devout man he met wouldn't believe it.
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