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Post by John E on Aug 7, 2009 22:28:05 GMT -5
Shooping? You mean like PhotoShooping your house to make it disappear, so burglars won't see it?
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Post by Admiral Lithp on Aug 7, 2009 22:28:42 GMT -5
When I walked dogs for a living, I noticed one of hte most effective anti-flirting dogs I walked was a 150-pound, hip-high St Bernard named Ellwood (alias Mister Drooly-Pants because he constantly had an eighteen-inch long strand of DROOOOOL hanging out of his mouth). NOBODY would talk to me, look at me, or lean out of car windows to whistle at me while I was walking him. Never mind that he was ancient, the sweetest most darling dog in the world, and wouldn't hurt anybody. I imagine people would think twice before breaking into HIS house, too. "SHIIIT, BIG DOG. LET'S GO TO ANOTHER HOUSE, GUYS!!" Maybe it was the drool? Edit: John, I think he means "shoop da whoop." The stupid laser thing.
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Post by Jebediah on Aug 7, 2009 22:52:47 GMT -5
My mom's coworker has a rottweiler, and her apartment got broken into. The dumb dog followed the burglar around licking his hand. That is really funny. It's also not funny since the apartment was robbed. If anyone were to break into my house, our extremely aggressive Jack Russell would take care of business. Or rather, he would attempt to take care of business. At eleven pounds, I'm sure he would just go flying across the room.
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Post by John E on Aug 7, 2009 23:04:11 GMT -5
Oh, I just remembered another one. When my wife's parent's house was broken into a couple years ago, their three dogs, who usually bark at every freakin' thing, didn't make a sound. But their CAT made a fuss that woke them up and scared the burglar away.
P.S. The burglar didn't get anything, and tripped and hurt himself on the way out. I don't think he was ever caught though.
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Post by Mira on Aug 7, 2009 23:18:01 GMT -5
My dog, Sandy, has a profiling system going on. She barks at all strange men, especially non-whites, which is inconvenient as we have black neighbors. I don't know how she got so prejudice. I didn't realize that dogs could discriminate, but I also didn't know that a dog could cry (Brandi was the sweetest dog ever.)
When I was recently on vacation in Wisconsin the neighbor of the cabin we rented had a 150 lb mastiff. They had an invisible fence, but she would act like it wasn't even there. You could hear her running from across the street, she sounded like a horse. One of the friendliest dogs I have ever met. In the mornings she would stare through the screen door until we noticed her and pet her. She would crawl under your legs seemingly in an act to coax you to ride her. You could have, too. Nobody is ever going to rob that house. Dyna was only 6 months old. They expect her to get to around 250 lbs. In addition to the other 5 mastiffs they have at least one firearm. Good ol' fashioned home security.
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Post by lonelocust on Aug 8, 2009 0:38:48 GMT -5
If I use the special Visene, I will be forced to defend my home with a 17th-century ball musket.
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Post by RavynousHunter on Aug 8, 2009 1:16:38 GMT -5
I defend my home Rambo style; shirtless with a big fucking knife.
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Post by lonelocust on Aug 8, 2009 2:43:41 GMT -5
I defend my home softcore porno style: shirtless with a big fucking knife.
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Post by ironbite on Aug 8, 2009 2:46:47 GMT -5
I defend my home softcore porno style: shirtless with a big fucking knife. totally breaking into your house now.
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Post by Trevelyan on Aug 8, 2009 3:35:25 GMT -5
Great now I have a mental image of a raptor and a porn star squaring off.
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Post by RavynousHunter on Aug 8, 2009 5:33:56 GMT -5
Are you suggesting you knife-rape intruders? Holy fuck, man. I'm not stealing your shit, then.
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Post by lonelocust on Aug 8, 2009 6:26:54 GMT -5
Great now I have a mental image of a raptor and a porn star squaring off. Best. Mental image. Ever.
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Post by lonelocust on Aug 8, 2009 6:30:09 GMT -5
Are you suggesting you knife-rape intruders? Holy fuck, man. I'm not stealing your shit, then. That might edge into "hard core".
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Post by SimSim on Aug 8, 2009 8:14:48 GMT -5
My mom's coworker has a rottweiler, and her apartment got broken into. The dumb dog followed the burglar around licking his hand. That is really funny. It's also not funny since the apartment was robbed. If anyone were to break into my house, our extremely aggressive Jack Russell would take care of business. Or rather, he would attempt to take care of business. At eleven pounds, I'm sure he would just go flying across the room. Or do what ours did the one time someone came in to the house, slept right through it.
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Post by RavynousHunter on Aug 8, 2009 10:49:11 GMT -5
Man, someone broke into our house when were on vacation in Florida...and all they did was smoke crack in our house. That's it. Nothing was stolen, nothing broken, just two bloody used crack pipes in the middle of the hall.
Needless to say, the next time we went to Florida, we let our uncle take care of the place. He brought his shotgun, a .22-long rifle, and a .357 revolver. That spooked a lot of the local "gangstas."
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