|
Post by RavynousHunter on Apr 10, 2010 12:32:33 GMT -5
Please tell me you punched that insensitive prick...
|
|
|
Post by Dragon Zachski on Apr 10, 2010 13:20:16 GMT -5
"If you see inconsistencies in the Bible. it's because you don't have the Holy Spirit//it's because you have the spirit of Satan in you!" = "If you see anything wrong, it's because you aren't brainwashed like me"
|
|
|
Post by meraude on Apr 10, 2010 13:23:25 GMT -5
@ravynous Hunter-unfortunately,no.I did tell them that god had fucked w/my life enough,as far as I was concerned-& the percieved 'blasphemy' on my part made this woman steeer clear of me for quite a while. -(she was a co-worker.Lucky,lucky me)
|
|
|
Post by RavynousHunter on Apr 10, 2010 13:39:01 GMT -5
Just as well. Though I bet decking her would've been very cathartic.
|
|
|
Post by rookie on Apr 10, 2010 14:39:25 GMT -5
For me, the most annoying part (fine, second, after JWs and Mormons knock on my door early in the only morning I have off) is if the subject comes up and I give my response that I don't believe, after the really confused look (which I love), the attempted conversions start. All these stupid-ass questions about what would happen in all these scenarios where I "really needed God".
|
|
|
Post by safaraz on Apr 10, 2010 15:27:22 GMT -5
A term I hate is "I'm a good, god fearing christian"
it's the god fearing bit I really just can't stand for some reason.
|
|
|
Post by MaybeNever on Apr 10, 2010 15:32:42 GMT -5
For me, the most annoying part (fine, second, after JWs and Mormons knock on my door early in the only morning I have off) is if the subject comes up and I give my response that I don't believe, after the really confused look (which I love), the attempted conversions start. All these stupid-ass questions about what would happen in all these scenarios where I "really needed God". I court a different reaction by telling people that I'm a muslim. It started as a joke, but it turns out that it's pretty effective for telling me whether or not I'll find that person tolerable. Either there's a look of shock and disgust, or a look of surprise and curiosity.
|
|
|
Post by kristine on Apr 10, 2010 15:39:36 GMT -5
"I'll be praying for you." Response - - "whatever turns you on - It's your time to waste." - "you do that. I have useful things I need to do." - "I'd rather you send money" "Ok.. my 10am class was cancelled WITHOUT notice.. My Blackberry was stolen today.. had a bad day at work.. BUT.. Jesus is still great.. I'd take him over ANY good day.." Response - "So...Jesus is fucking up your day on purpose?" "Do you get off dating alcoholics and wife beaters too?" "There is help for co-dependents who feel obliged to love those that ruin their lives." That whole "God will come through if you just pray" B.S. always annoys me because it implies that, if everything doesn't work out okay, either you're not good enough or didn't pray hard enough, or something else ridiculous like that. Response - (don't use these if the person is really grasping a straws and needs that religious crutch to get them through the day of course.) - "unless god wants you to suffer and then prayer and belief won't do dick." - "Tapping your heals together and saying 'there's no place like home' or closing your eyes and saying 'I wish the goblins would take this away right now' or putting on a bright yellow and red costume and yelling 'Shazam!' works for a few people as well." - "did you see " Point of No Return" - just think to yourself 'I never did mind about the little things'."
|
|
storymoron
Full Member
Guy-liking, God-believing, liberal-minded freak
Posts: 187
|
Post by storymoron on Apr 10, 2010 21:05:51 GMT -5
"This is all part of God's plan" and variants ("God meant it to be so.")
Which really means "I need a quick and easy way of explaining the complex pain I see around me... and I clearly don't believe in free will."
I hate it when I hear such a quote. It's saccharine and empty rhetoric. Though I was reading a Christian guide on how to counsel someone who'd lost a loved one, and it said "Don't say 'This is all part of God's plan.' Unless God told you that directly, you can't say it's true."
|
|
|
Post by MaybeNever on Apr 10, 2010 23:41:48 GMT -5
"God's plan" responses to death just seem staggeringly callous, and paint god as a tremendous bastard. I hate those too.
|
|
|
Post by Paradox on Apr 10, 2010 23:58:56 GMT -5
To me, "I'll be praying for you" sounds incredibly smug. Depends on the context. Sometimes you can tell that they really mean it. Other times it comes out as a threat. I can guess which version you folks usually hear.
|
|
|
Post by Admiral Lithp on Apr 11, 2010 3:10:00 GMT -5
It reminds me of the joke about the guy who was on his roof in a flood and prayed for god to save him, and turned down a boat and a helicopter because he was convinced his god was going to reach down and pluck him off his roof personally. You Mean This: Once there was a man whose house was in a flood. He stood on the porch as the waters rose. A boat came by, the driver urged the man to get on board but the man said he was waiting on the Lord to save him. The waters rose, the first floor was flooded and as the man looked out his second story window, another boat came to rescue him. The man turned the boat away, saying he would wait for God to rescue him. Finally he was clinging to the chimney on the roof. A helicopter flew overhead and dropped down a ladder. The man waved it off, saying Jesus would save his life. Finally he was swept away in the waters and drowned. At the pearly gates, he saw God and said, Lord, all my life I did as you asked but when the time came you did not save me. And God said, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what else did you want?"A Jewish man enters a synagogue. He begins to pray, saying, "God, I've lost my job & my wife is about to leave me. Won't you please let me win the lottery?" He doesn't win. He comes back, praying. "God, I've lost my job, my wife left me, & I'm about to lose my house, won't you please let me win the lottery?" He still doesn't win. He comes back, saying, "God...I've been a faithful servant of yours for years, but now...I've lost my job, my house, & my car. My kids & I are starving, yet you won't let me win the lottery. Why, God?" Suddenly, the heavens open & a booming, disembodied voice speaks to the man. "Jacob," it says, "You're going to have to meet me halfway on this one. Buy a damn ticket!"
|
|
|
Post by Admiral Lithp on Apr 11, 2010 3:13:32 GMT -5
Referring to their deity as "lord". Now I'm no expert on feudal heirachy but I'm pretty sure that lords aren't exactly #1, nor is it an appropriate title for something that's supposed to be all-knowing and all-powerful. Yeah, but for some reason, it just sounds so much more epic than what would be the top, "king."
|
|
|
Post by tolpuddlemartyr on Apr 11, 2010 4:31:17 GMT -5
My old man used to say "go to church son, it will improve your mind" when I was a teenager, Still does from time to time.
|
|
|
Post by Vypernight on Apr 11, 2010 5:13:47 GMT -5
"This is all part of God's plan" and variants ("God meant it to be so.") Which really means "I need a quick and easy way of explaining the complex pain I see around me... and I clearly don't believe in free will." I hate it when I hear such a quote. It's saccharine and empty rhetoric. Though I was reading a Christian guide on how to counsel someone who'd lost a loved one, and it said "Don't say 'This is all part of God's plan.' Unless God told you that directly, you can't say it's true." Is the rest of the guide the same way, going in the opposite direction of the annoying holier-than-thou attitude in favor of showing actual love and compassion? If so, they need to hand those out to anyone who first walks into a church.
|
|