Thanks for coming in Turquoise. Where ot begin, I don't know. Just had to say, thanks for not attacking me, because I was pretty thick in my actions. But yeh apologized enough. I'd love to hear about it all. No sarcasm intended by that remark.
Why would I attack you? You expressed your curiosity and, as far as I could tell, were merely grateful for the information Skyfire provided. I didn't really see anything that would give me cause to attack you. Unless I missed the post where you said "ZOMG! JAPAN SUX!".
Why don't I try to put a major cultural issue into context, and you can ask me about related issues after that. Does that sound OK?
Skyfire talked in some detail about the stifling of individuality and suicide, as though these are shameful elements of Japanese society. Interestingly, both of these issues are related to a largely positive aspect of Japanese culture - the idea of
wa (harmony).
Confucianism was a major influence on early Japanese culture, and one of the most lasting effects is the notion of
wa. Simply put, when a Japanese makes a decision, they will tend to choose the outcome that maximizes the
wa. In practical terms, this means that a Japanese will regularly inconvenience him/herself in order to avoid causing inconvenience to others.
So, how does this relate to school? Well, all students wear uniforms, but this is not unique to Japan. Uniform rules are very strict (again, not unique to Japan), and within the school grounds, these rules tend to be enforced. Again, this is much the same as school rules being enforced in school grounds all over the world. The reality is that there is not an official policy of stifling individuality, or at least, no more so than you might find in any other school in any country.
But what about bullying? Well, of course, it happens. To put it into context, just under 99% of people in Japan are ethic Japanese (and well over half of the "foreign" population are Asian), and bullies in Japan, like those anywhere else, target those who are different. Sometimes they target foreign students, sometimes they target the so-called
hafu (half-Japanese) students, and sometimes they target Japanese students who are simply different in some way. There are certainly problems with the way bullying is handled in the schools, with many members of staff doing nothing and many parents wanting to avoid causing a fuss (this lack of response is partially due to
wa - it would be rude to upset the parents of the bullies/victims and it would be rude for the parents to point out the failures of the school staff). Again though, this happens elsewhere - my brother and I were bullied at our school in the UK and the headmaster refused to deal with the issue (he even suggested that my step-mother's complaints about his inaction were making the situation worse). The bullying issue was the biggest reason I didn't want my daughter to go to school in Japan - not because she won't be bullied here in Canada, but because I'd embarrass my wife if I had to complain about the problem in Japan (even I have to think about the
wa).
This "don't rock the boat" attitude follows Japanese into the workplace. Although the "job for life" is now a thing of the past, a fair number of Japanese still consider their workplace to be an important part of their lives, and thus, they always have to consider the
wa. It's still quite common to see people loitering in the office because they don't want to leave before their boss or a more senior co-worker (the
sempai/
kohai (senior/junior) dynamic is a very powerful one in Japanese society). But Skyfire is way off base with idea that "screwing up" is a particularly great sin. A far worse sin is to excel, particularly if your performance surpasses your senior co-workers. A mistake, no matter how grievous, is forgiven with an apology and a deep bow - embarrassing your sempai by outdoing him/her is a cardinal sin that requires some serious grovelling.
Which brings us to suicide. Shame is a central element of Japanese culture. A lot of people talk about Japanese "honour", but in reality, shame is the driving force in many relationships. It ties in with
wa because upsetting the harmony of one's family, company, school, town, etc. is associated with great shame. And bringing shame upon oneself also brings shame upon one's family, etc. Unfortunately, for many, the only way they can see to avoid bringing shame onto their families is to commit suicide. Skyfire mentioned
seppuku, and it's fair to say that suicide has long been part of Japanese culture. But the central reason for suicide has remained the same - to avoid bringing shame to your house.
As an aside, not long after I arrived in Japan, a man jumped in front of the train that I was on as it pulled into my station, and I can still hear the scream of the woman who witnessed it, and I can feel the dull thud as the train hit him. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience. But when I mentioned the incident to a Japanese student of mine, she said that she thought the man was brave for jumping in front of the train. I disagreed with her, but I made a conscious effort to find out more about that aspect of Japanese culture in order better understand how she could think such a thing, and why the man jumped in the first place.
Sorry if it's a little tl;dr, but this is a rather complex element of Japanese culture. Seriously, I lived there for nearly a decade and I feel like I just scratched the surface.
Mr. Turquoise