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Post by ironbite on Jun 10, 2009 3:05:33 GMT -5
Does that message routinly include brain hurting?
Ironbite-cause I think you just hurt GOD'S BRAIN!
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Post by erictheblue on Jun 10, 2009 6:34:09 GMT -5
I'm just not seeing all the "pressure" to have children that others see. I chose to have only one and other than a bitch of a mother in law no one ever said anything to me about having more children. Because you did your "duty" and had a kid. Those of us who choose never to have kids hear it somewhat regularly. I admit, I'm lucky. My family accepts that I never wanted kids, and my mother has taken her dreams of spoiling grandkids and transferred them to her grandnieces and -nephews. Of course, I came out as a lesbian before I was old enough to start seriously thinking about kids. While I know same-sex couples can have kids, no one really assumes they will. Now I'm living as a man and in a straight relationship, but my gf has a medical condition that causes her to be sterile, meaning her parents won't question the fact we never breed. |
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Post by Aqualung on Jun 10, 2009 10:37:20 GMT -5
If God wanted us all to have babies he wouldn't have made it so we have to have sex to make them. Or he wouldn't have given us free will. Intelligent design, my ass.  |
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Post by clockworkgirl21 on Jun 10, 2009 12:55:50 GMT -5
If I have a kid, it'll be because I'm making a good living and my partner and I are ready to care for a child. It won't be because I want someone to take care of me when I'm old. If I can't take care of myself, I'd rather be dead.
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Post by Death on Jun 10, 2009 19:13:08 GMT -5
I'm just not seeing all the "pressure" to have children that others see. I chose to have only one and other than a bitch of a mother in law no one ever said anything to me about having more children. Because you did your "duty" and had a kid. Those of us who choose never to have kids hear it somewhat regularly. I admit, I'm lucky. My family accepts that I never wanted kids, and my mother has taken her dreams of spoiling grandkids and transferred them to her grandnieces and -nephews. Of course, I came out as a lesbian before I was old enough to start seriously thinking about kids. While I know same-sex couples can have kids, no one really assumes they will. Now I'm living as a man and in a straight relationship, but my gf has a medical condition that causes her to be sterile, meaning her parents won't question the fact we never breed. Considering that the average age for a first child is 27 and many couples don't have children until their mid thirties wouldn't the "pressure" tend to start at a later age than for previous generations. |
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Post by Madame Scarlet on Jun 10, 2009 19:55:36 GMT -5
Considering that the average age for a first child is 27 and many couples don't have children until their mid thirties wouldn't the "pressure" tend to start at a later age than for previous generations. I think people pressure others when they learn that the person intends to never have children. If you say, "I wanna have kids, but I'm not ready for them yet," then at least you intend to have children at some point, and it's normal to want to have them but to wait a little bit. |
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Post by Death on Jun 11, 2009 12:23:07 GMT -5
Considering that the average age for a first child is 27 and many couples don't have children until their mid thirties wouldn't the "pressure" tend to start at a later age than for previous generations. I think people pressure others when they learn that the person intends to never have children. If you say, "I wanna have kids, but I'm not ready for them yet," then at least you intend to have children at some point, and it's normal to want to have them but to wait a little bit. Then don't tell them. It's none of their business anyway. |
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Post by rookie on Jun 11, 2009 13:36:25 GMT -5
My absolute favorite part is the look on the people's faces, especially the women's face when they "pressure" about kids. Me and Mrs. Rookie tried for five years before we started banging them out. And some young mother would start expounding on the wondrous delights of parenthood. But it was always in the eyes. Half dead from lack of sleep, glassy, red, swollen, puffy, baggy, please-kill-me-now-or-make-this-thing (the baby)-shut-up kind of eyes. The kind of eyes that you expect to see on someone rocking back and forth in the corner of a room mumbling to themselves. Has anyone else seen this?
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Post by Bezron on Jun 11, 2009 14:13:31 GMT -5
I used to hate it when my family (mostly my mom) would pull the pressure shit on me. Now that I am having a kid, I would be more inclined to pressure those that really want to have kids NOW to wait. They should be forced to deal with a mid-term pregnant woman for a few weeks on end. And to deal with a screaming child at 2:30 in the morning. And to deal with a sick child.
Don't get me wrong, I want my daughter, and will love her no matter what. But then again I may just be batshit insane...
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Post by Bezron on Jun 11, 2009 14:14:14 GMT -5
Dammit! double post
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Post by The_L on Jun 11, 2009 15:37:40 GMT -5
My father's sending me interesting mixed messages on the subject lately. On the one hand, he says stuff about how I should "not limit myself to one guy" and should wait a while before getting married.
On the other hand, he seems to think that either I, or my children, MUST discover a form of immortality before he dies. And because it's quite clear I won't go the geneticist route, he's going to try to talk my kids into it, apparently.
My grandparents, on the other hand, have made it quite clear that they want to live to see the next generation, and they don't mean Star Trek.
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Post by Thejebusfire on Jun 12, 2009 23:02:25 GMT -5
If I have a kid, it'll be because I'm making a good living and my partner and I are ready to care for a child. It won't be because I want someone to take care of me when I'm old. If I can't take care of myself, I'd rather be dead. QFT. Just because you have a child doesn't mean they'll take care of you when you're old. |
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Post by antichrist on Jun 14, 2009 0:37:38 GMT -5
Considering that the average age for a first child is 27 and many couples don't have children until their mid thirties wouldn't the "pressure" tend to start at a later age than for previous generations. I think people pressure others when they learn that the person intends to never have children. If you say, "I wanna have kids, but I'm not ready for them yet," then at least you intend to have children at some point, and it's normal to want to have them but to wait a little bit. I don't know about that. I'm getting the "before we're dead" message. I'm not even saying whether we do/do not want kids. Basically we don't use protection, if I get pregnant, great; if not, well I guess we get another cat. But then again, I'm in my 40's, so it's a little different. |
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Post by Ian1732 on Jun 21, 2009 2:12:00 GMT -5
By this logic, refusing to shove my own foot in my mouth is against God's perfect design, because I can, and yet I won't.
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Post by Sigmaleph on Jun 21, 2009 14:44:07 GMT -5
Oh, but there's no verse in the Bible saying "be flexible and shovify". As far as I know, anyway.
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