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Post by Deimos on Nov 8, 2009 20:51:41 GMT -5
I think it just makes more sense for the entire universe to be born out of gods giant vagina. Either that or he jizzed over empty space
Enjoy the imagery.
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Post by giantfossilpenguin on Nov 9, 2009 3:00:16 GMT -5
A god is a control mechanism for the world around you. Before gods, if your forest burnt around you, your cave-home flooded, your family/tribe became diseased, then there was the terrifying inability to have control. BUT, once you make these things the province of a supernatural being you can try to influence them with ritual/sacrifice/prayer. If the prayers work, then you have made the god see your point-of-view; if the bad things still happen, then you didn't do things right/enough. Either way you now have the illusion that it is your activities that are the arbiters of what happens in the world around you. As this system becomes more sophisticated it starts to be used as an in-group identifier; the priesthood starts to gain more power and suddenly, if a significantly powerful priest decides that folk ain't livin' right, their god starts to agree with them and the tribe's behaviour is forcibly modified to make it fall into line. It is still, however, utter bullshit. When religion gives you iron-hard certainty and your god agrees totally with how you think, you're doing it wrong, arse-head. And if a message of love is twisted to hatred of 'not-us', you're a fundie.
GFP
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Post by tygerarmy on Nov 27, 2009 22:55:20 GMT -5
I think it just makes more sense for the entire universe to be born out of gods giant vagina. Either that or he jizzed over empty space Enjoy the imagery. Comets are individual sperm and planets are eggs, and if the comet isn't burned up entering a plants atmosphere, and it's the right time in the solar cycle, it deposits life starting materials and the planet grows up to produce life.
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Post by wmdkitty on Nov 27, 2009 23:09:29 GMT -5
I think it just makes more sense for the entire universe to be born out of gods giant vagina. Either that or he jizzed over empty space Enjoy the imagery. Comets are individual sperm and planets are eggs, and if the comet isn't burned up entering a plants atmosphere, and it's the right time in the solar cycle, it deposits life starting materials and the planet grows up to produce life. Which makes us a cosmic STD....
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Post by Rat Of Steel on Nov 27, 2009 23:39:41 GMT -5
Either that or he jizzed over empty space Enjoy the imagery. Actually, that's more sensible than your joke might suggest. After all, the "Big Bang" wasn't an explosion at all, but simply an expansion. Perhaps that event in question was simply God having an orgasm, causing the matter that would form the universe to erupt violently from one single point in space. We might, in fact, all be made of gawd-spunk. Enjoy that imagery, if you will ;D
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Post by Yaezakura on Nov 28, 2009 3:07:44 GMT -5
Comets are individual sperm and planets are eggs, and if the comet isn't burned up entering a plants atmosphere, and it's the right time in the solar cycle, it deposits life starting materials and the planet grows up to produce life. Which makes us a cosmic STD.... Best description of mankind ever. Kudos, kitty.
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Post by wmdkitty on Nov 28, 2009 14:56:13 GMT -5
Which makes us a cosmic STD.... Best description of mankind ever. Kudos, kitty. *takes a dramatic bow*
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Post by Dragon Zachski on Nov 30, 2009 0:44:02 GMT -5
In my opinion, whatever god(s) up there don't really care about what we believe or whether we believe at all. Otherwise, they'd make sure we knew who they were.
If I was an omnipotent being and I wanted my creations to worship me, I'd probably inscribe the sky with flaming letters that are in the language of the viewer that say "I am Zachski, God of Underpants. WORSHIP ME!"
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Post by cagnazzo on Nov 30, 2009 0:59:44 GMT -5
If I was an omnipotent being and I wanted my creations to worship me, I'd probably inscribe the sky with flaming letters that are in the language of the viewer that say "I am Zachski, God of Underpants. WORSHIP ME!" If that was all I wanted, then I'd just make them worship me. While dueling on chariots that are on fire and driven by cassowaries.
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Post by wmdkitty on Nov 30, 2009 2:08:14 GMT -5
What the hell is a cassowary? Shit, did I even spell that right?
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Post by DarkfireTaimatsu on Nov 30, 2009 2:10:05 GMT -5
What the hell is a cassowary? Shit, did I even spell that right? It's a weird bird. --Encyclopedia Tai
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Post by wmdkitty on Nov 30, 2009 4:00:47 GMT -5
"Weird" is putting it lightly.
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Post by Ranger Joe on Dec 1, 2009 11:28:35 GMT -5
Gods, Goddesses, Religions, People claiming astral projections and other various crap all boils down to the same thing.
We cannot, as a majority, cope with the fact that we are insignifigant specs of carbon on a planet in the middle of a space we cannot comprehend the size of. In the grand scheme of the universe and everything, we are nothing. We have developed our morals because of our evolved brains and it's generally proven that if your a decent person, you get that much back from people.
I look at it this way. I had someone in my old batallion that told me that because of whatever religion they worshipped, they could cause me mental or physical anguish by either direct physical actions or through my dreams. I called his bluff, told em to do it and guess what....Nothing happened. Because it's all a bunch of comfort methods our brains create to make us seem more important than we are.
That goes for anyone...I don't care what you believe. If what you believe says that you can cause physical or mental duress to another human being...Prove it. I volunteer. Bring it on. I look forward to the same amount of sleep and lack of injury that I've delt with any other time.
Humans are just that. We don't have special powers, theres no such thing as magic...please just go about your business and leave everyone else the fuck alone. (This isn't directed at the OP, just a general rant)
We all die. We don't live for long, and we are generally a stupid species.
/soapbox
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Post by wmdkitty on Dec 1, 2009 13:03:32 GMT -5
@joe -- Seriously? Did the rest of the battalion laugh at him? What, out of sheer curiosity, was his religion?
I'll allow for the possibility of entities we cannot comprehend, but I don't think, if they exist, they have any direct influence on us.
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Post by HonestlyNow on Dec 1, 2009 14:27:35 GMT -5
Well, it's like the old joke about the difference between the vengeful god of the Old Testament and the loving god of the New Testament is due to him getting laid. That made my week. Best joke EVAR.
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