|
Post by worlder on Jul 23, 2010 15:46:42 GMT -5
Really, I don't buy into the whole heaven concept, but I always wonder what you're able to do in heaven. Especially considering the myriad array of stupid things that fundies hate and don't want us to do (like read Harry Potter, play D&D, etc.), and the fact that "God won't allow sin in heaven". .... Why is it that every time I think about it, heaven becomes more worse-sounding than hell? Well, here's something else to think about. God runs Heaven, Satan runs Hell. In all of the recorded 'history' in the bible, Satan is sort of, kinda, very loosely responsible for the deaths of about 5 people...God on the other hand has wiped out the entire population aside from six people and continued to demand his followers to slaughter people in and for him for any reason right down to a tribe living in a land he determined, without notifying anyone, should be for his people. Personally I think spending eternity worshiping a monster like God would be a hell all it's own Apparently ha-satan was the title meaning "The Challenger" or "the Accuser". This dude tests the faith of believers by subjecting them to various crisis and misfortunes. Somehow he got lumped in with the fallen angel Lucifer and his ilk, and the title became the name of this new character that somehow turned his own prison into a home.
|
|
|
Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jul 23, 2010 16:43:36 GMT -5
Read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I like that view of heaven. All wants and desires have been removed. So people just sit around doing nothing. They all have phenomenal powers, but they don't use them. They never get bored, either. Johnny, of course, is gleeful over being able to explode people's head with his brain. It all goes downhill from there.
And what Mira described is awfully close to Mormon heaven...
|
|
|
Post by tolpuddlemartyr on Jul 23, 2010 17:04:14 GMT -5
I like brick testament heaven. It's a bit like Alpha Complex from the Paranoia tabletop rpg where an insane computer keeps it's citizens in bondage in a high-tech 1984 type society and happiness is mandatory.
|
|
|
Post by Mira on Jul 23, 2010 18:17:12 GMT -5
And what Mira described is awfully close to Mormon heaven... I find this incredibly amusing for some reason.
|
|
|
Post by worlder on Jul 23, 2010 18:21:30 GMT -5
I like brick testament heaven. It's a bit like Alpha Complex from the Paranoia tabletop rpg where an insane computer keeps it's citizens in bondage in a high-tech 1984 type society and happiness is mandatory. Apparently in the backstory of "The Matrix", the first Matrix failed due to it being too perfect. The second version was apparently Silent Hill; that one failed as well.
|
|
|
Post by Caitshidhe on Jul 23, 2010 18:26:21 GMT -5
They'll worship god forever in heaven? That's it? So heaven will basically be nonstop church service for all of eternity? Shit, let me go out and stab some babies just to make sure I go to hell!
|
|
|
Post by aboveathletics on Jul 23, 2010 18:55:39 GMT -5
Some Christian fundies honestly think that they will get paradise after their death and after the final fireworks of the universe. But when they get there, what do they plan to do? In many of the fundy rants they keep yacking about what humanity must do to get to heaven, but they never really touch on what to do in heaven. In Hell you always have something to do, because it is a prison with all guards on vacation. So you always have to contend yourself with a riot there. I've heard it described as being like the moment of orgasm combined with the best part of a hit of X, except that it lasts for eternity whereas hell is like getting kicked in the crotch for eternity.
|
|
|
Post by MaybeNever on Jul 23, 2010 19:00:35 GMT -5
Eh, after three or four kicks to the crotch they all start to blend together. Much like the formerly distinct parts of your genitals.
EDIT: In the Discworld cosmology, people get the afterlife they believe they deserve. I like that, except that (as it is occasionally pointed out) it means that good-hearted people who hold the "everyone's a sinner who goes to hell" fear really do, while the bastards who believe they deserve eternal paradise (see: fundamentalist Christian leaders, all) get it.
|
|
|
Post by aboveathletics on Jul 23, 2010 19:16:21 GMT -5
Come to think of it, are heaven and hell ever even described in the Bible, I never got all the way through so I can't say for sure it's not there. Can anyone who's read it confirm?
|
|
|
Post by tolpuddlemartyr on Jul 23, 2010 19:27:26 GMT -5
My favourite online bible The Brick Testament is probably the most accurate representation I've seen thus far. No, that's not from the writings of HP Lovecraft. That's from the book of Revelation.
|
|
|
Post by Mira on Jul 23, 2010 19:27:38 GMT -5
Come to think of it, are heaven and hell ever even described in the Bible, I never got all the way through so I can't say for sure it's not there. Can anyone who's read it confirm? Not sure about hell, I think it's mostly described as a separation from god. Heaven is well-described in revelations. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Jerusalem
|
|
|
Post by Meshakhad on Jul 23, 2010 19:45:31 GMT -5
Judaism is a lot more vague on the subject of heaven, except that the vast majority of the human race will be there. I personally think that most mortal pleasures will be available. I'll see if Einstein wants to join my D&D group.
|
|
|
Post by Tiberius on Jul 24, 2010 0:03:28 GMT -5
Judaism is a lot more vague on the subject of heaven, except that the vast majority of the human race will be there. I personally think that most mortal pleasures will be available. I'll see if Einstein wants to join my D&D group. Mebbe George Orwell and W³adys³aw Reymont would be up to playing some Paranoia.
|
|
|
Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Jul 24, 2010 0:30:56 GMT -5
My idea of heaven: A finite but indefinite period of time where you can explore the universe, learn how to do things, meet all kinds of people, etc. and then, when you decide you've had enough, you hit the 'off' button. And it shouldn't be perfect, just very, very good... perfection is boring.
|
|
|
Post by Napoleon the Clown on Jul 24, 2010 4:29:11 GMT -5
I think most of the Biblical stuff regarding people who don't get into heaven is basically you simply become worm-food. Haven't ever been particularly interested in the matter, though.
One interesting thing is that the "after-life" people experience in near-death-experiences is practically identical to what they expected it to be in life.
|
|