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Post by erictheblue on May 23, 2011 22:00:51 GMT -5
But yeah, I'll totally change my mind about passing on my fucked up genes and ruining little kids' lives with how shitty of a parent I KNOW I would be. I agree 100%. I decided when I was 12 that I never wanted children. 23 years later, nothing has happened to change my mind. |
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on May 23, 2011 22:37:58 GMT -5
But yeah, I'll totally change my mind about passing on my fucked up genes and ruining little kids' lives with how shitty of a parent I KNOW I would be. I agree 100%. I decided when I was 12 that I never wanted children. 23 years later, nothing has happened to change my mind. Yeah, well, you're 35, so if you haven't popped 'em out by now (what exactly is the male equivalent? squirted 'em out?) then you probably never will, so it'd be okay for you to have preventative surgery. </snark> I get that Fallopian tubes tying is riskier than a vas deferens snip n' clip. I really do. But if I'm willing to sign off on it, what does it matter if I've already popped a couple of squallers out or not? I mean, it's not like I'm gonna quit making eggs; if needed, I can have a reversal and suck those motherfuckers out, sprinkle some sperm on top, and voila! Baby time! Again, though, if I ever DO get to the point where I'm ready, capable, and willing to be a good parent, I'd much, MUCH rather adopt than produce yet another hungry mouth. Adoptions can have their own problems, but I wouldn't have intentionally created that child knowing what would probably happen to it. So fuck anybody who says I'm too young to make this decision, that I should 'wait until you find the right guy', that I'll 'find Mr. Right and want to make a bajillion babies with him'. Fuck you. I've known since I was 15 I didn't want kids; technically, I knew I didn't want to raise any before then, but it was at 15 that I realized how utterly screwed up my genetic lineage is. I know environment can strongly influence genes, but when both sides of the family are utterly riddled with diabetes, weight problems, neurological and digestive disorders, and mental illness, and that's all concentrated into my generation (my brothers and I are the only biological grandchildren on either side)? Yeah, no. No fucking thanks. Let me get myself fixed up before I even consider adding a child to my fucked up life. ...sorry to rant, this is one of my hot button topics. *hides* |
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Post by priestling on May 23, 2011 23:30:43 GMT -5
As a male, I decided that I didn't want kids when I was 6. I'm now 27. I know I'd make a terrible parent, and frankly, I'm a selfish motherfucker. If there's anyone I'm going to spend money on, it's going to be ME!
... yet somehow, I keep getting told "you'll change your mind"...
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Post by Admiral Lithp on May 23, 2011 23:40:32 GMT -5
Can I just point out that there's a big difference between "you might change your mind" & "you will change your mind"?
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Post by Thejebusfire on May 23, 2011 23:51:28 GMT -5
I'm pretty good with most children as long as their not complete brats. It's just the temper tantrums I can't stand.
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Post by wmdkitty on May 24, 2011 0:30:53 GMT -5
I notice Sylvana hasn't been back to explain/defend/backpedal her oh-so-superior-to-you-horrible-childfree-women sanctimommy post.`
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on May 24, 2011 0:39:13 GMT -5
It's funny how if a girl gets knocked up at 16 and decides to keep it she's OMG so brave and doing the Right Thing TMShe even gets to be on MTV. |
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Post by Dragon Zachski on May 24, 2011 1:21:36 GMT -5
For the longest time, I wanted to be a father.
Now? Well, let me put it this way. Not only do I have horrible genes, but even if I chose to adopt, I wouldn't be very good at taking care of a child, because some things just slip my mind.
Rather than inflict my bad parenting and sorry genes on a child, I think I'll save money and spend it on bills or something.
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Post by sylvana on May 24, 2011 1:28:22 GMT -5
Can I just point out that there's a big difference between "you might change your mind" & "you will change your mind"? Lithp says it best, and before you guys get all self righteous and calling me a fundie think about things for once. Keeping options open is always the best idea. If you dont want kids now, dont have kids. if you dont want kids in 5 years, dont have kids then either. However in 10 years you might want to have children. if you dont, well guess what, dont have kids once again. If you have an operation that completely removes any chance of having your own children then in the rare event that you want children in the future you cannot have them. So basically despite your feelings now, you would have completely screwed yourself over if those feelings ever change. The smart thing is to keep as many possible options open. This gives you the maximum number of choices in your life and also allows you to be far more flexible with your own future and the possible paths it might take. Take it from someone who also has fucked up genes, but is also incapable of having children. I know I would be a horrible parent, I know my children would have genetic disabilities, but regardless, I cannot even choose to have children if I wanted to. |
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Colosphe
Junior Member
And nothing of value was contributed
Posts: 92
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Post by Colosphe on May 24, 2011 1:28:24 GMT -5
I notice Sylvana hasn't been back to explain/defend/backpedal her oh-so-superior-to-you-horrible-childfree-women sanctimommy post.` Maybe I'm just addicted to playing devil's advocate, but I'll try to see it her way. Then you can argue with me! I think she sees it a little simplistically, like you'd just had a bad day babysitting a friend's kid, then saying "I DON'T WANT KIDS EVER" and getting your tubes tied in the same afternoon. She probably likes kids, and can't see why people wouldn't want them. Ah, she probably also thinks it's unnecessary surgery. As an aside: maybe I read it differently, but she really didn't sound like she was making a personal attack on anyone, just saying that it didn't make sense to her to tie it up. I never saw any implication of "horrible childfree women," just "Keep your options open!" (Personally, I don't know much about what kinda preparations you need to go through to get your tubes tied; talking to your doctor sounds pretty normal. Psych test, not so much. I don't have to worry about it either way! ;D) JUST NOTICED: I had a little argument with my friend about 16 and Pregnant; I may be addicted to devil's advocate... EDIT: Oh great, NOW she comes and defends herself right when I'm trying to do it. :C And I completely misinterpret her message. Boooo. |
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Post by wmdkitty on May 24, 2011 1:48:44 GMT -5
I'm reasonably sure that, 5, 10, 20 years down the road, I still won't want kids.
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Post by Shane for Wax on May 24, 2011 1:53:12 GMT -5
Uhm... May I just point out that you don't need to shoot out a brat through your crotch in order to have kids?
Also, isn't it a bit silly to tell people with genetic disorders that they might change their mind about saddling a child with the disorders and passing on those genes for further generations to come?
In fact, I advocate that people who want kids to adopt, rather than give birth. Too many kids need loving homes. Your home is one less one that they can have.
I'm 100% glad that I can't carry a child to term and would not even try. I'm 100% glad I have only half the necessary tools to even try to make a child.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on May 24, 2011 4:49:13 GMT -5
Can I just point out that there's a big difference between "you might change your mind" & "you will change your mind"? Lithp says it best, and before you guys get all self righteous and calling me a fundie think about things for once. Keeping options open is always the best idea. If you dont want kids now, dont have kids. if you dont want kids in 5 years, dont have kids then either. However in 10 years you might want to have children. if you dont, well guess what, dont have kids once again. If you have an operation that completely removes any chance of having your own children then in the rare event that you want children in the future you cannot have them. So basically despite your feelings now, you would have completely screwed yourself over if those feelings ever change. The smart thing is to keep as many possible options open. This gives you the maximum number of choices in your life and also allows you to be far more flexible with your own future and the possible paths it might take. Take it from someone who also has fucked up genes, but is also incapable of having children. I know I would be a horrible parent, I know my children would have genetic disabilities, but regardless, I cannot even choose to have children if I wanted to. Do you have any idea how condescending it sounds to tell someone "You might change your mind!" Yeah, there are a lot of people who change their mind about the subject. Telling someone how they'll feel (and that's how it comes across to many who desire to remain childfree) isn't exactly the way to help them understand what you're saying. As far as the hesitation to perform tubal litigation or vasectomies, it's largely a matter of the doctor not wanting to get the shit sued out of them. Enough people do change their minds down the road that a lot of doctors would rather not take the risk. Of course, if someone has legitimate health reasons for not having kids it should be made easier to perform the procedure. I know that I'd be a terrible parent. I'm quite fucked in the head, thanks. I cannot handle kids for extended periods of time and I don't doubt I'd raise the kid to be very fucked up as well. |
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Post by starseeker on May 24, 2011 10:03:35 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure I'm never gonna have kids, I can't stand babies or children in general. I've long accepted that I'll be a maiden aunt.
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Post by Aqualung on May 24, 2011 11:39:55 GMT -5
Can I just point out that there's a big difference between "you might change your mind" & "you will change your mind"? Lithp says it best, and before you guys get all self righteous and calling me a fundie think about things for once. Keeping options open is always the best idea. If you dont want kids now, dont have kids. if you dont want kids in 5 years, dont have kids then either. However in 10 years you might want to have children. if you dont, well guess what, dont have kids once again. If you have an operation that completely removes any chance of having your own children then in the rare event that you want children in the future you cannot have them. So basically despite your feelings now, you would have completely screwed yourself over if those feelings ever change. The smart thing is to keep as many possible options open. This gives you the maximum number of choices in your life and also allows you to be far more flexible with your own future and the possible paths it might take. Take it from someone who also has fucked up genes, but is also incapable of having children. I know I would be a horrible parent, I know my children would have genetic disabilities, but regardless, I cannot even choose to have children if I wanted to. But see, the problem with this is that it implies that we childfree people (women especially) don't know our own minds. 'Silly girl, you don't know what you want!' My reasons for not having children are my own, and should be nobody else's business (except maybe the doctor). Making one go through psychological counseling before a sterilization procedure is insulting. Also, there are ALWAYS other ways of having children if you do change your mind down the road. Surrogates, in vitro, etc etc etc. |
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