|
|
Post by DeadpanDoubter on May 30, 2011 0:43:28 GMT -5
Welp. Had a therapy appointment today, and I think we've finally found the general location of the roots of my problems-- I'm stuck in the goddamned kindergarten stage of Initiative vs. Guilt. So yeah, college student on the outside, sad little kindergartner on the inside. I always thought I wasn't as mature as everyone seemed to think, but this is too literal for me. a. what are the symptoms, b. what is the recommended treatment for that? Just from what my therapist said, she thinks it's what relates to my lack of motivation to do anything. I have to pretty much be told outright "do X, Y, Z" in order to do anything, just like a small child does. Basically, I'm terrible at making and carrying out decisions on my own, which is supposed to be the result of successfully completing that stage, and I feel extreme guilt over poor decisions and so tend to just avoid making decisions entirely. We don't have a specific treatment plan in place for it yet, mostly because we didn't stumble upon this until the end of the therapy session. And I basically have to get through this stage before I can get to the root of my self-apathy. Yeah. I thought it was just plain old self dislike, but she doesn't think so. *shrug* But I can't make progress until I can deal with things, so I guess I'm gonna have to get through the stages and catch up. It sounds totally fake, doesn't it? |
|
|
|
Post by The_L on May 30, 2011 8:15:03 GMT -5
a. what are the symptoms, b. what is the recommended treatment for that? Just from what my therapist said, she thinks it's what relates to my lack of motivation to do anything. I have to pretty much be told outright "do X, Y, Z" in order to do anything, just like a small child does. Basically, I'm terrible at making and carrying out decisions on my own, which is supposed to be the result of successfully completing that stage, and I feel extreme guilt over poor decisions and so tend to just avoid making decisions entirely. We don't have a specific treatment plan in place for it yet, mostly because we didn't stumble upon this until the end of the therapy session. And I basically have to get through this stage before I can get to the root of my self-apathy. Yeah. I thought it was just plain old self dislike, but she doesn't think so. *shrug* But I can't make progress until I can deal with things, so I guess I'm gonna have to get through the stages and catch up. It sounds totally fake, doesn't it? Not really. I didn't get through that stage until I was around 20 or so. Then came the slow climb through "adolescence." I was 22 when I realized who I am and what I want out of life. Dad still tries to guilt-trip me over suddenly not wanting to go along with him, though. |
|
|
|
Post by lighthorseman on May 30, 2011 19:21:49 GMT -5
a. what are the symptoms, b. what is the recommended treatment for that? Just from what my therapist said, she thinks it's what relates to my lack of motivation to do anything. I have to pretty much be told outright "do X, Y, Z" in order to do anything, just like a small child does. Basically, I'm terrible at making and carrying out decisions on my own, which is supposed to be the result of successfully completing that stage, and I feel extreme guilt over poor decisions and so tend to just avoid making decisions entirely. We don't have a specific treatment plan in place for it yet, mostly because we didn't stumble upon this until the end of the therapy session. And I basically have to get through this stage before I can get to the root of my self-apathy. Yeah. I thought it was just plain old self dislike, but she doesn't think so. *shrug* But I can't make progress until I can deal with things, so I guess I'm gonna have to get through the stages and catch up. It sounds totally fake, doesn't it? Fake? No... it sounds disturbingly like my self identified deficits. Enough to make me wonder, anyway. Thanks for sharing. |
|
|
|
Post by Shane for Wax on May 30, 2011 19:36:35 GMT -5
*sighs a little bit* I relapsed early this morning. As in... self-harm.
So... yeah, fun. Luckily I have big dogs that like to jump on me and the marks look like claw marks.
|
|
ottery
New Member
Otterly delicious
Posts: 23
|
Post by ottery on May 30, 2011 21:20:00 GMT -5
I just felt so depressed today. I still do. It's now more of an angry at the world depressed in stead of crying and feeling sad for no reason depressed than it was earlier. I even went for a swim (my favorite thing to do), but all I did was huddle in the shallow end and cry. After I gave up on enjoying myself, all I could do was sit in the shower and stare blankly at the floor. Bleh... I can't wait until tomorrow... It's not a holiday, so I can finally make an appointment to get this looked at. I hope I can go in on Thursday or next Monday.
|
|
|
|
Post by TWoozl on May 30, 2011 21:41:59 GMT -5
Ottery;
That's the most important thing you can do, is seek help with these things, then follow through. Keep us up to date, and don't stop moving, for any reason. If you need to, get up and see daylight, if you find yourself staying put in a corner, get up and do dishes. Any excuse to move and do anything at all. Trust me on this one, it helps.
|
|
brainy
Junior Member
Gay, atheist, psychologist. The fundie trifecta!
Posts: 63
|
Post by brainy on May 30, 2011 21:57:30 GMT -5
I need therapy, but I can't find a good one that takes fucking Medicaid. The ones that do? Aren't worth it. Plus, you know, it takes time to trust people, and ... yeah. I miss my old therapist. Currently I'm angry, and I don't know why. I think it's because I tend to turn my depression and anxiety outward, and it comes out as RAEG. I'm kinda heading towards a RAGE-BAWWW. I don't like it. I don't like me.I don't wanna be around me, right now. You may try a local university. Some have counseling centers for students who also see members of the community on a sliding fee scale. You can request not to see a student, if that doesn't work you could also request to see a doctoral intern. So a potential downside is that you may have to see someone in training, the absolute upside is that whoever you end up seeing would be rigorously supervised and your care would be given the utmost importance. |
|
|
|
Post by wmdkitty on May 31, 2011 3:08:11 GMT -5
I need therapy, but I can't find a good one that takes fucking Medicaid. The ones that do? Aren't worth it. Plus, you know, it takes time to trust people, and ... yeah. I miss my old therapist. Currently I'm angry, and I don't know why. I think it's because I tend to turn my depression and anxiety outward, and it comes out as RAEG. I'm kinda heading towards a RAGE-BAWWW. I don't like it. I don't like me.I don't wanna be around me, right now. You may try a local university. Some have counseling centers for students who also see members of the community on a sliding fee scale. You can request not to see a student, if that doesn't work you could also request to see a doctoral intern. So a potential downside is that you may have to see someone in training, the absolute upside is that whoever you end up seeing would be rigorously supervised and your care would be given the utmost importance. I'll look into it, thanks. I just... I know I need help, and I'm pretty sure my meds need to be adjusted. Again. Joy. I'd like to try one of the newer antidepressants -- fewer side-effects, you know? |
|
|
|
Post by Chi Shiro on May 31, 2011 16:52:57 GMT -5
I just spent a little over three days in the psych ward cause I tried to commit suicide last Friday night. There's a thread about it in F&B if anyone is interested. *shrugs softly* It helped, a lot, actually. The problem that sent me over the edge is still there, but I'm not reaching for the bottle or the pills yet, so that's good.
|
|
|
|
Post by DeadpanDoubter on May 31, 2011 19:20:25 GMT -5
I don't mean to be insensitive (please, feel free to slap me if I start acting insensitive) but only three days? For an actual attempt? They locked my uncle up for a whole WEEK because he said "I oughta kill myself."
And I knew someone in group who was in the mental wing of the hospital for a week and a half for...well, I guess it could be considered a suicide attempt, but it was more like she lost all will to live and barely left her bed, and developed starvation problems that, if her housemate hadn't taken her to the hospital, would've soon killed her.
I'm just a little worried about only three days for a suicide attempt...are they at least having you attend IOP? That's the norm for people released from the mental ward here...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chi Shiro on May 31, 2011 19:27:08 GMT -5
The standard procedure here is a 72 hour hold if the person has themselves voluntarily committed. My attempt Friday night didn't work. I was going to try it again Saturday night so I had myself committed Saturday. They held me Saturday night through around noon today after giving me some meds and therapy. They said it was pretty obvious someone had shredded my self esteem beyond recognition.
What's an IOP?
|
|
|
|
Post by DeadpanDoubter on May 31, 2011 19:37:37 GMT -5
Ohhh, okay...I really should read your thread, I wasn't aware it was voluntary commitment...sorry. >->; I'll...go do that now.
IOP stands for Intensive Outpatient Program.
What it entails varies among institutions, but my experience was 5 days a week, 2 hours a day, for 10-12 days. It had group therapy (discussions and 'check ins', and then skills and behavior changes to help us push through) and grief counseling, plus every Wednesday the pharmacist would come in for an hour or so and discuss medications, side effects, etc.
It's really just a 'step down' from the intense, 24/7 mental ward, and it gives people a little network of support for whatever they're going through now that they're back out in the 'outside' world...it's also attended by people who weren't hospitalized, like me, but who could easily get to the place where they'd need hospitalization.
So...the way my case manager put it is, the hospital's for when you're in immediate danger of hurting yourself, IOP's for when the danger's passed and to help keep you from getting to that place of danger again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chi Shiro on May 31, 2011 19:47:35 GMT -5
That actually sounds wonderful. I wish they had it in my area. No, what I'm doing is meet with a doctor tomorrow to get my prescriptions double checked to see if they need to be upped or changed. Then come friday I'm meeting with a new therapist to discuss some issues I've been having. This was actually scheduled before I went into the hospital so it's good to have it. Come monday I've got a meeting with my regular counselor. I normally see him bi-weekly but he may bump it up to weekly until the danger is passed. He may also refer me to a case manager or have me attend a once a week group therapy until things cool down.
All on the road to getting better, right?
|
|
|
|
Post by John E on May 31, 2011 20:13:06 GMT -5
I'm sure glad it didn't work, Chi. And you did the right thing by checking yourself in before you had a chance to try again. Please keep seeking help, even if the hospitals don't always treat you with as much compassion as they should.
|
|
|
|
Post by lighthorseman on May 31, 2011 20:18:24 GMT -5
I don't mean to be insensitive (please, feel free to slap me if I start acting insensitive) but only three days? For an actual attempt? They locked my uncle up for a whole WEEK because he said "I oughta kill myself." And I knew someone in group who was in the mental wing of the hospital for a week and a half for...well, I guess it could be considered a suicide attempt, but it was more like she lost all will to live and barely left her bed, and developed starvation problems that, if her housemate hadn't taken her to the hospital, would've soon killed her. I'm just a little worried about only three days for a suicide attempt...are they at least having you attend IOP? That's the norm for people released from the mental ward here... Goes to ones status and demeanor, and whether one's condition is deemed chronic or acute. I spent 3 days "voluntarily" in a psych ward after my failed attempt, which was deemed the result of an acute crisis and that once the crisis phase was over, with increased medication I was deemed no longer in imminent risk of self harm. And thats in Australia, where you just stay in hospital as long as you need to. I imagine US facilities are significantly keener to get patients out the door ASAP if they aren't well insured. |
|
