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Post by lighthorseman on Jun 1, 2011 7:28:52 GMT -5
"Oh dear, the whole 'what do I have to be depressed about' is something that has bugging me for ages, considering only two family members have died (one of them I hadn't even met, the other I barely knew) and I can't find any other reasons."
Asking "what do I have to be depressed about?" is sort of like a diabetic asking "why shouldn't I be able to eat as much sugar as everyone else?". And just like we don't consider diabetics "weak" for needing insulin, nor should we consider depresssed people "weak" for needing some sort of intervention. Both depressed people and people with no experience of depression need to realise this.
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Post by The_L on Jun 1, 2011 8:05:52 GMT -5
"Oh dear, the whole 'what do I have to be depressed about' is something that has bugging me for ages, considering only two family members have died (one of them I hadn't even met, the other I barely knew) and I can't find any other reasons." Asking "what do I have to be depressed about?" is sort of like a diabetic asking "why shouldn't I be able to eat as much sugar as everyone else?". And just like we don't consider diabetics "weak" for needing insulin, nor should we consider depresssed people "weak" for needing some sort of intervention. Both depressed people and people with no experience of depression need to realise this. You'd think, since my mom has a history of depression, that Dad would understand this to some degree. But most of my teen years involved comments that were pretty much along the lines of "cheer up, emo kid." I would burst into tears for no reason, and his first comment was "What are you crying about?" I'm crying because I have an emotional disorder, hadn't you figured it out yet? 9_9 |
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Jun 1, 2011 12:36:57 GMT -5
I don't know, it just made me worry about Chi. *facepalms and then laughs softly* Oh no, no no. Please don't worry about me. The last thing I want is someone's worry or pity. I survived, I got help, I'm fine. Yes, I have some kinks to iron out, but all will be good in time. You got a lot closer to suicide than I ever have, and I've scared myself plenty. Of course I'm gonna worry! And it's really not pity, if I pitied you I'd have to throw a pity party for myself, too.  It just seemed...off, when compared to what I know and have experienced. But...as long as you can truly believe that all will be better and can keep putting one foot in front of the other, then I won't hover. Promise.  Also what L said...things didn't get quite so bleak until I was 17 or 18, but I've still got these really dark, depressing poems that I wrote at 15 and 16, and I was never into the emo scene so it wasn't exactly pretentious. Of course, I likely haven't read as much of your story as L has, so maybe I'm not quite catching on... I'll let y'all in on a secret I haven't even told my therapist yet: when I was around 16 or 17, waaay back when I was still a good little fundie Christian girl, I was firmly convinced that I didn't have the soul of a human, but instead one of a demon; that I was a demon made human by killing the fetus and then putting myself into its body. ...that might've been partially because my mom swears that all indications of my gender changed mid-pregnancy, including heartrate and all that. But yeah. People would tell me to look inside of myself and find everything that was good about me, and all I'd 'see' was slimy darkness. So I'd suppress it and try to be good; I ended up spoiling my brothers fucking rotten because I didn't want to buy myself anything, I'd just spend my money on whatever they wanted. And when suppression stopped working (as if it ever did) I just shut down and became completely withdrawn and apathetic. And maybe I'm missing something, but from what you've said about how you perceive yourself, I'm seeing similarities that worry me. Worry's NOT a bad thing, though, so don't say I shouldn't "bother". I wish I could keep anyone else from feeling that way, and while I don't have super psychology powers, maybe there's some way I can help. Even if it's just to listen. |
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Jun 1, 2011 12:40:07 GMT -5
"Oh dear, the whole 'what do I have to be depressed about' is something that has bugging me for ages, considering only two family members have died (one of them I hadn't even met, the other I barely knew) and I can't find any other reasons." Asking "what do I have to be depressed about?" is sort of like a diabetic asking "why shouldn't I be able to eat as much sugar as everyone else?". And just like we don't consider diabetics "weak" for needing insulin, nor should we consider depresssed people "weak" for needing some sort of intervention. Both depressed people and people with no experience of depression need to realise this. You'd think, since my mom has a history of depression, that Dad would understand this to some degree. But most of my teen years involved comments that were pretty much along the lines of "cheer up, emo kid." I would burst into tears for no reason, and his first comment was "What are you crying about?" I'm crying because I have an emotional disorder, hadn't you figured it out yet? 9_9 Before we figured out what was wrong with me, my best friend would say the same thing...she was just joking, though she never said it after I got diagnosed. >.>; largeham: I know! It seems crazy, but like LHM said, there's no reason needed. Seems like Depression the Mood Disorder is a whole 'nother creature than Depression the Grieving Phase. |
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Post by The_L on Jun 1, 2011 12:46:06 GMT -5
You'd think, since my mom has a history of depression, that Dad would understand this to some degree. But most of my teen years involved comments that were pretty much along the lines of "cheer up, emo kid." I would burst into tears for no reason, and his first comment was "What are you crying about?" I'm crying because I have an emotional disorder, hadn't you figured it out yet? 9_9 Before we figured out what was wrong with me, my best friend would say the same thing...she was just joking, though she never said it after I got diagnosed. >.>; largeham: I know! It seems crazy, but like LHM said, there's no reason needed. Seems like Depression the Mood Disorder is a whole 'nother creature than Depression the Grieving Phase. This happened many times, from my childhood until YEARS after I was diagnosed. I guess he figured six months of Zoloft had "cured" me or something. |
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Post by Shane for Wax on Jun 1, 2011 15:24:30 GMT -5
I think almost all anti-depressants make me more depressed. Because I get depressed that I have to take the medicine... if that makes sense.
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brainy
Junior Member
Gay, atheist, psychologist. The fundie trifecta!
Posts: 63
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Post by brainy on Jun 1, 2011 15:47:59 GMT -5
largeham: I feel you, man...for the longest time I thought I was just weak, that I couldn't actually be depressed because, hey, what the fuck do I have to be depressed about? Even after I started therapy, I convinced myself that I was just looking for attention and giving the therapist the 'right' answers to get a depression diagnosis... Oh dear, the whole 'what do I have to be depressed about' is something that has bugging me for ages, considering only two family members have died (one of them I hadn't even met, the other I barely knew) and I can't find any other reasons. TL;DR: I really don't like anything about myself, but I have distractions so I don't notice anything beyond my 1600x900 screen. QFT. Two questions in general: 1. What should one look for in a therapist? 2. One symptom I read about depression is the inability to remember specific points of happiness, something I've found that applies to me. What do people here think of writing down what the time, date and occasion is when one feels happy. 1. I'd look for either a psychologist or a counselor. No offense to LCSW's, I just haven't had much interaction with them. A psychologist will have a PhD and will call themselves either a Clinical Psychologist or a Counseling Psychologist. There is a difference but for the purpose of this answer, the difference is moot. A counselor may have only a Master's degree. They would be a Licensed Professional Counselor in their state and may have a Mental Health Service Provider designation. Their credentials would look something like: Brainy Girpants, M.S., LPC-MHSP. A counselor may also have a doctorate in which case you would replace the MS with either PhD or EdD. As far as what to look for in personality...its kind of trial and error and really depends on your own personality. Different therapists approach treatment differently. A good therapist will not be offended if you don't have a personality match and request a referral for another therapist. 2. I think thats an excellent idea. I typically give this an assignment when working with clients who are struggling with depression. |
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Post by Chi Shiro on Jun 1, 2011 17:47:01 GMT -5
So, I went and saw the doctor today. He decided we're going to keep my medications the way that they currently are. We're going to give them three weeks to see if I feel better and then we'll meet again to see if the dosage needs to be upped or changed.
We also talked about how my world doesn't make any sense right now. Things I thought I knew are all wrong. People I thought I could trust are turning on me. I guess some people just like to wait until you're at your lowest and then kick you as hard as they can for their own amusement.
But I will not drink or try to end my life again. If I do that then they win.
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ottery
New Member
Otterly delicious
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Post by ottery on Jun 2, 2011 18:34:44 GMT -5
Well, turns out the doctor's office re-scheduled my appointment without telling me or anything... Now I have to wait a few more days to talk to my doctor, but they thankfully scheduled it on a day that I have off. My boyfriend is helping me make it until then by buying me food (I'm a comfort snacker) and keeping me preoccupied with swimming and such. It means a lot to me, since it was a few days ago when he asked if there was anything he could do to make me feel better, and I said that he could shoot me in the head. >.>
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ottery
New Member
Otterly delicious
Posts: 23
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Post by ottery on Jun 6, 2011 15:22:00 GMT -5
Finally got to the doctor today, and things are looking pretty good. They put me on 20mg of prozac for 2 months, then from there I will be talking to a psychiatrist if things get worse/don't change. So glad I have insurance. <3
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Jun 6, 2011 15:58:44 GMT -5
That's great to hear, Ottery! =3 I hope it'll at least help...
Out of nosiness, does your insurance cover any other psychiatric routes you may find that you need? I tried to find where you've discussed your insure in more depth than what I've seen, but I'm not finding much more, so I apologize if you've already gone over your "official" diagnosis, previous treatment(s), etc...
(psst, kids-- no matter how late in the day you remember that you forgot to take your Wellbutrin, TAKE IT RIGHT THAT MOMENT. It's better to stay awake a little longer than to be a depressed sack of shit. Trust me. *pulls the covers over her head* Mrr.)
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Post by Jebediah on Jun 6, 2011 16:00:16 GMT -5
Yay, Ottery! That's great.
I hope you feel better soon, Deadpan.
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ottery
New Member
Otterly delicious
Posts: 23
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Post by ottery on Jun 6, 2011 16:16:48 GMT -5
That's great to hear, Ottery! =3 I hope it'll at least help... Out of nosiness, does your insurance cover any other psychiatric routes you may find that you need? I tried to find where you've discussed your insure in more depth than what I've seen, but I'm not finding much more, so I apologize if you've already gone over your "official" diagnosis, previous treatment(s), etc... (psst, kids-- no matter how late in the day you remember that you forgot to take your Wellbutrin, TAKE IT RIGHT THAT MOMENT. It's better to stay awake a little longer than to be a depressed sack of shit. Trust me. *pulls the covers over her head* Mrr.) Yes, my insurance is awesome in that it will cover behavioral therapy, a psychiatrist, or anything else I need. It is kinda odd, because they wouldn't cover my EipiPen when I went into shock a month back and decided to get some for if I have a reaction again. I don't really have an "official" diagnosis. I just went to the doc, told him how I felt, and he put me on the meds. I guess I''m just starting my journey to finding out what is wrong with me and getting a diagnosis. |
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Post by DeadpanDoubter on Jun 6, 2011 19:28:47 GMT -5
That's great to hear, Ottery! =3 I hope it'll at least help... Out of nosiness, does your insurance cover any other psychiatric routes you may find that you need? I tried to find where you've discussed your insure in more depth than what I've seen, but I'm not finding much more, so I apologize if you've already gone over your "official" diagnosis, previous treatment(s), etc... (psst, kids-- no matter how late in the day you remember that you forgot to take your Wellbutrin, TAKE IT RIGHT THAT MOMENT. It's better to stay awake a little longer than to be a depressed sack of shit. Trust me. *pulls the covers over her head* Mrr.) Yes, my insurance is awesome in that it will cover behavioral therapy, a psychiatrist, or anything else I need. It is kinda odd, because they wouldn't cover my EipiPen when I went into shock a month back and decided to get some for if I have a reaction again. I don't really have an "official" diagnosis. I just went to the doc, told him how I felt, and he put me on the meds. I guess I''m just starting my journey to finding out what is wrong with me and getting a diagnosis. Ah, okay...well, good first step, then. =3 I'm glad they'll cover anything else you need, too. That's REALLY weird about the epi-pen, though. Are they just that expensive, and the insurance company doesn't want to cover it because of that? I mean...I can understand not covering hearing aids or podiatric equipment, they don't typically factor into life-or-death. But no epi-pens? That's scary... Jebediah: Thank you...I'm actually feeling better now than I was before; for whatever reason, it's nigh impossible to remember my meds on the weekends, the days that I don't go out and do anything, and after two or three days without meds, it's like a sugar crash hits me. Eh...another good habit I need to form: Responsible Medicating. |
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Post by wmdkitty on Jun 6, 2011 19:36:47 GMT -5
I have a hard time with consistently medicating, myself, so... yeah. Skipping meds = BAD THING. I might be able to get by on "cruise control" for a day, but longer than that and I'm a sobbing rage-y wreck.
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