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Post by Sleepy on Mar 31, 2009 15:56:30 GMT -5
This is my first post, so first I'd just like to say hello to everyone on here. I've been reading fundie quotes on the original page for quite awhile and finally decided to create an account on here. Wooo! Account!
Anyway, I seek advice on how I can be a more outgoing person. I'm shy and have been that way for years. My current boyfriend, who I've been with for almost 7 months, has helped me realize how shy I really am around most people, and I want this behavior to come to an end. I'm sick of being this way and he has told me that he wants me to be more social. I'm very outgoing with good friends and family members, but around most others I am awkward.
So I would appreciate tips anyone has on how to be outgoing. If you want more details on the situation, feel free to ask.
EDIT: Please read the latest posts, because I'm no longer seeking advice on the things I previously listed. Other stuff has happened since.
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Post by dantesvirgil on Mar 31, 2009 16:14:00 GMT -5
More details on the situation.
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Post by Sandafluffoid on Mar 31, 2009 16:19:31 GMT -5
Hah, well you're sure as hell not the only socially awkward person here, hell there's enough of us to form a little club. Unfortunately I've still yet to overcome my general social clumsiness so I'm about as much help to you as a dead weasel in a blender.
Then again all my posts are record-settingly unhelpful so it doesn't make that much difference.
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Post by Sleepy on Mar 31, 2009 16:26:39 GMT -5
Well I'm currently a senior in high school. In my junior year I slumped into a depression because of negative things happening with my family, medical stuff, and not really having friends. But my boyfriend pulled me out of the depression. His step-mom doesn't like me because I don't talk enough. I'm not sure about his dad. My boyfriend was once just as shy as I am now, so he knows how I feel, and he's trying to get me to change just like he did. I really want to as well but it's not exactly easy after being like this for so long.
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Post by Vene on Mar 31, 2009 16:33:47 GMT -5
... dead weasel in a blender. I can't get this image out of my head. I WANNA BLEND A WEASEL! Sorry, I can't help much about the social thing. Maybe spend more time around friends who are outgoing.
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Post by Sandafluffoid on Mar 31, 2009 16:41:53 GMT -5
Sorry, I can't help much about the social thing. Maybe spend more time around friends who are outgoing. Then you're at risk of being stifled by them, but on the other hand a bunch of socially awkward people in a room can be an absolute disaster (see the IRC on a slow day). I guess the best thing you can do is to do exactly what you're doing here, talk to people, don't wait for them to come and say 'Hello mrs. person, would you like ot partake in conversation with me?' Get in there and ask them to partake in glorious word-swapping. Remember practice makes perfect, but a lot of gin helps as well.
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Post by Vene on Mar 31, 2009 16:47:26 GMT -5
I'm really not the person to ask for social advice. I just want to blend a weasel.
Come to think of it, maybe the above two sentences are related.
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Post by The Lazy One on Mar 31, 2009 16:51:52 GMT -5
I wish I could help you, but I'm also very withdrawn. I don't really think it would help either of us for me to go into details, so I won't.
But don't feel like you're alone- there's more people with this same issue.
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Post by Sleepy on Mar 31, 2009 16:55:00 GMT -5
It's good to know that there are many more like me. But I'd rather change while I can.
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Post by trike on Mar 31, 2009 16:55:02 GMT -5
What helps me sometimes is I just pick out something about somebody I don't know around me at a party or other social event. You'd be surprised by how much a question like, "Oh! I love your shirt, where did you get it?" opens people up and leads to at least a short conversation.
Shirt/dyed hair/accents/jewlery/whatever else.
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Post by Jebediah on Mar 31, 2009 16:59:53 GMT -5
I've found that complaining about something usually starts a conversation. Saying something like, "Man, this class is so boring." could work. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? The other person could say, "Actually, I love this class. It's my favorite class in the entire world!" and then there would be no conversation, but hey, at least you tried.
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Post by captainhooker on Mar 31, 2009 17:06:37 GMT -5
I've found that snorting mounds of cocaine generally makes me a lot more sociable.
j/k - although that is somewhat true, I don't recommend it
anyhow - The complement thing is probably the best idea you'll hear for cold calling strangers.
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Post by Sleepy on Mar 31, 2009 17:08:54 GMT -5
Lately I've tried to apply a "who gives a crap" attitude when I speak. By that I mean that I try to join conversations to say what I want and not worry about how negative people's reactions may or may not be.
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Post by devilschaplain2 on Mar 31, 2009 17:11:55 GMT -5
Heh, if I weren't the exact same way, I'd help you out--I get nervous to the point where I feel nauseous in situations where there are large groups of people around, and I have trouble talking to people without saying something stupid and/or awkward
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Post by Vene on Mar 31, 2009 17:14:54 GMT -5
What helps me sometimes is I just pick out something about somebody I don't know around me at a party or other social event. You'd be surprised by how much a question like, "Oh! I love your shirt, where did you get it?" opens people up and leads to at least a short conversation. Shirt/dyed hair/accents/jewlery/whatever else. How about, "Holy shit! Where's your hair?"
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