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Post by Art Vandelay on May 6, 2009 6:07:34 GMT -5
I just watched the gladiator V apache episode and I have to say I'm rather disappointed. I know it's supposed to be entertainment first and scientific second but would the guys modelling either fighter just stop with the macho "my warrior is better than yours" bullshit at every single freaking test? It's not nearly amusing or convincing enough to justify taking up about a third of the entire bloody show.
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Post by mistermuncher on May 6, 2009 6:14:40 GMT -5
I just heard avbout this show via Graham Linehan's (excellent) blog. Apparently an upcoming episode is featuring "Taliban vs. IRA"
"The Taliban - deadly extremists battling in the mountains of Afghanistan, versus the I.R.A. - elusive, hard-hitting masters of Ireland’s urban jungles. It’s a battle to the death, between two lethal guerilla warriors, armed to the teeth with flamethrowers, rocket launchers, carbines, mines and devastating home-made bombs."
You'll pardon my saying so, but what a load of hoary old wank. I suppose, in firness, a description that ran "A bunch of cunts in Ireland who like killing innocent people, vs. a bunch of cunts in Afghanistan that like killing innocent people" wouldn't have the same ring to it.
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Post by John E on May 6, 2009 13:52:43 GMT -5
Exactly! Any warrior not specializing in face-to-face, one-on-one combat is placed at an arbitrary disadvantage, because that's the only scenario they consider. EDIT: They should be pairing up warriors with similar specialties. Then their comparisons would be valid. What, you didn't notice that the pirate won simply because of his willingness to fight dirty? The choreographed fights at the end of the episodes aren't created by the computer program though. They're just staged to show all the weapons in use and show who won the majority of the 1000 simulated fights. At least as far as they say on the show, the program doesn't take technique or different scenarios into account.
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Post by John E on May 6, 2009 13:57:03 GMT -5
ADDENDUM: Apparently, the narrator of these episodes is not David Wenham, as much as it does sound like him speaking. Dang. I could have sworn it was him. @srg. Snootles: I find all the macho posturing annoying too. In the pirate vs. knight episode, when the pirate won, the pirate guys were all "This shows that pirates were tougher and better warriors!" when just moments before, the guys running the tests had said, "If anything, this shows a triumph of technology." Better technology. Simple as that. But they take it some sort of tough-man victory. Very annoying.
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Post by Dr. Waldorf X on May 6, 2009 15:32:10 GMT -5
What, you didn't notice that the pirate won simply because of his willingness to fight dirty? The choreographed fights at the end of the episodes aren't created by the computer program though. They're just staged to show all the weapons in use and show who won the majority of the 1000 simulated fights. At least as far as they say on the show, the program doesn't take technique or different scenarios into account. I figured that they took general tactics into account as well.
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Post by Art Vandelay on May 6, 2009 19:12:51 GMT -5
I find all the macho posturing annoying too. In the pirate vs. knight episode, when the pirate won, the pirate guys were all "This shows that pirates were tougher and better warriors!" when just moments before, the guys running the tests had said, "If anything, this shows a triumph of technology." Better technology. Simple as that. But they take it some sort of tough-man victory. Very annoying. It's not even the tough man routine itself that irritates me, just that it's done so often and so uconvincingly. I guess it gives me some mild amusement to know the director is probably far more pissed off at the lack of acting ability than I am.
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Post by doomie 22 on May 6, 2009 20:38:25 GMT -5
Am I the only one who noticed that in the Mafia v. Yakuza episode the Molotov thrown "through" the window clearly bounces off the window and lands in a dumpster? They show it a few times and every time it's hilariously obvious.
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Post by Art Vandelay on May 6, 2009 20:39:39 GMT -5
Similar to the gladiator getting an arrow go straight through the side of his midsection, to which he simply pulls it out and keeps on fighting like nothing happened.
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on May 6, 2009 20:42:33 GMT -5
Gladiators are tough. Not sure if they're that tough but they're pretty damn tough.
I could take them though.
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Post by Admiral Lithp on May 6, 2009 23:40:06 GMT -5
I actually thought the macho stuff was amusing. Now that you mention it, though, it is odd that it appears in every episode....
Thanks for disillusioning me, assholes. I was blissful in my ignorance.
And yeah, the re-enacments also kind of annoy me, too. They're interesting, but they're filled with so many facepalm moments. Like the ninja jumping down from the tree, walking up behind the Spartan, swinging with the ninjato, & going "HYAAA!"
(If you can't already tell, the ninja is my default example.)
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Post by HarleyThomas1002 on May 7, 2009 0:33:23 GMT -5
That was rather out of character. Considering they're all about stealth jumping from a tree, creeping up behind someone are all good but you kinda ruin it when you start shouting.
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Post by Sandafluffoid on May 7, 2009 10:58:15 GMT -5
Here's some pairings I'd do if I were in charge: *snip* viking vs. mongolian *snip*. Do you mean Mongolian as in a horse-mounted light archer? Versus an armoured infantry raider? Because, honestly, I don't see how that counts as similar specialities
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Post by John E on May 7, 2009 11:18:37 GMT -5
True, Sand. I was going for similar technological levels. I still think it would be a better pairing than viking vs. samurai.
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Post by antichrist on May 7, 2009 15:22:25 GMT -5
The viking vs. samurai bothered me. Basically because I think a screaming tall furry viking would of freaked a samurai right out. Samurai were thrown by the Mongols lack of fighting honor, so if you throw something like a Beserker at them, uhh......
(Also the Scandinavian vs. Japanese was getting rather hot in our household)
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Post by Admiral Lithp on May 7, 2009 17:33:51 GMT -5
Harley, don't you remember them demonstrating the blow gun? It would have made far more sense for the ninja to just stay in the tree & take the Spartan out with that.
There always seem to be holes in their re-enacment for drama's sake.
Like in pirate vs. knight. Instead of stabbing the knight with the cutlass that the pirate is still holding, said pirate desparately crawls across the beach to get his gun, turning his back on his opponent, to shoot him in the face.
The whole premise of "the battles that never were" is pretty interesting, but the fridge logic kinda ruins it for ya.
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