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Post by ostravan on Aug 1, 2009 0:54:58 GMT -5
I'm rather annoyed by the subtext in the RR post that implies a woman has to take all the responsibility for the man's welfare, yet also has to be obedient and accommodating to him. That's a no-win situation for the woman. How are you supposed to take care of a man properly if you have to do everything he asks? I'm pretty sure they don't want women to win.... Apart from being the most inaccurate and mistranslated collection of bullshit, the bible was written by MEN, for MEN. The ancient scripts from which the Goat Sodomisers Handbook originated, appear to be written in the masculine, but that was just the grammar of the day. Think of it this way - if someone steals your car then crashes it, your immediate thought about the thief is "Who was he?" and not "Who was she?". If this fucking sky-daddy is our father, then who TF is our Mother? Of all the life-forms on this planet, only the male sea-horse bears its children. A book of schoolboy club rules, editted from time-to-time to move the goalposts when necessary.
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Post by The Lazy One on Aug 1, 2009 9:40:55 GMT -5
Good advice, but respect is a two-way street. He'd better like and respect you too. You shouldn't make unreasonable demands on your husband, but he also shouldn't make unreasonable demands on you. From what I understand, relationships are supposed to be give and take, not just give or take.
Again, it's a two-way street. He should return the favor.
This one is tricky. It's a mash-up between good advice and fail. It's good to make your family feel welcome in their home. Be nice to your family. People first is generally a good idea. But it's not necessarily going to work for the wife to not work. What if she wants to work? What if she needs to work? Did this not occur to the writer of this article?
Also, in my family, my mother is the one who handles the finances. I think that she is the one who handles the mortgage payments...
This is good advice. No complaints here.
My father once told me that relationships are meant to be equal. He told me that I should never get involved with someone who expects me to be less in power than him. This bit of advice is completely fail.
I have to go do some other things, but I'll finish going through this later.
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Post by Marc on Aug 1, 2009 11:02:38 GMT -5
Out of all of it, this might be the only good portion, but it should be applied both ways.
Marc
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Post by maanantai on Aug 1, 2009 13:25:18 GMT -5
The Raptards would absolutely hate me and my s/o...We've bandied about the idea of me as the breadwinner and him as a stay-at-home dad--and depending on what kind of job I end up with, it may just become the reality for us. That sounds nice if you can get things to go the way that you two want them to go And just imagine what kind of reaction you can cause in neighbourhood-fundies! Think of the possibilities! *grin* (Which is the biggest difference between the reality that normal people have compared to fundie-"reality". In their version of it things need to be done certain ways even when people just suffer, when normal adults can sort things out in the way that makes sense for them at the time. )
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Post by The_L on Aug 1, 2009 19:12:09 GMT -5
The Raptards would absolutely hate me and my s/o...We've bandied about the idea of me as the breadwinner and him as a stay-at-home dad--and depending on what kind of job I end up with, it may just become the reality for us. That sounds nice if you can get things to go the way that you two want them to go And just imagine what kind of reaction you can cause in neighbourhood-fundies! Think of the possibilities! *grin* (Which is the biggest difference between the reality that normal people have compared to fundie-"reality". In their version of it things need to be done certain ways even when people just suffer, when normal adults can sort things out in the way that makes sense for them at the time. ) Well, if I can get a teaching job at a certain technical college, my pay will be at least $50k/yr, so we could live quite comfortably together without him having to work. And no child of mine is going to daycare until he/she is at least 2 years old.
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Post by katz on Aug 1, 2009 21:04:34 GMT -5
That sounds nice if you can get things to go the way that you two want them to go And just imagine what kind of reaction you can cause in neighbourhood-fundies! Think of the possibilities! *grin* (Which is the biggest difference between the reality that normal people have compared to fundie-"reality". In their version of it things need to be done certain ways even when people just suffer, when normal adults can sort things out in the way that makes sense for them at the time. ) Well, if I can get a teaching job at a certain technical college, my pay will be at least $50k/yr, so we could live quite comfortably together without him having to work. And no child of mine is going to daycare until he/she is at least 2 years old. My cousin's husband is a house husband. He stays at home with their Chinese baby, cat, and golden retriever. They are kryptonite to RR.
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Post by Thejebusfire on Aug 1, 2009 21:38:05 GMT -5
I agree that being a mother is a full time job, but I never understood why people are so against working mothers.
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Post by Freydis The Valkyrie on Aug 2, 2009 13:44:39 GMT -5
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Post by katautumn on Aug 3, 2009 4:21:37 GMT -5
You know, I don't necessarily disagree with everything in that post. I mean, who (man or woman) wants to be married to a total nag who makes them feel like they can't do anything right? Still, there were quite a few points that really chapped my ass: His home? Last time I checked I lived here also. I mean, if this isn't my home as well, why do I have so many things around here that are not only my personal belongings, but my little decorative touches as well? I love that. It reads like, "don't make home a shitty place for him. Don't ever forget who pays for it, beyotch!" Yeah, I'm a stay-at-home wife and mother. Yeah, my husband makes the money. With that said, I work my ass off and I do it for nothing. Jim does not pay the rent. We pay the rent. If something goes bad with the finances, we both have to shoulder the burden of it not just him. In other words, God figured women were too stupid and would always dig themselves into a hole. So, he created man to be held accountable for the women as they obviously cannot be held accountable for their own actions. So, Honey, just sit back and let your husband be the boss of you and the kids, otherwise God would have to smite you big time for being such a dumb bitch. Okay, I'm not a fan of women using sex as a bargaining chip. Even more so, I'm not at all in favor of men using sex as if it's their inalienable right to have unfettered access to their wife's vagina. What if I'm exhausted? What if I'm ill? What if I'm on the rag? Do you know how many times either myself or my husband has refused sex when the other wanted it due to a myriad of reasons? It's the exception and not the rule, but still, to hear this Crapturite talk it's horrible to refuse sex on any grounds. And how many of those wives stayed in abusive marriages or married to chronic cheaters or alcoholics just because women who married in those days had no options? Divorce was unheard of. You stayed by your husband no matter how many women he knocked up, how many times he slapped you around, how many nights you had to clean your husband's vomit off the floor because he was so drunk. By the time divorce became acceptable and more easily obtainable, these women had reached a level of dependency upon their husbands, despite their flaws. Also, I'm just curious, has this woman given her son (the groom-to-be) such a daunting and intensely personal list to live by in order to be a good husband? Or does she just assume because, as opposed to his soon to be wife, she was raised in a "good, traditional home" that he'll just come by it naturally?
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Post by lonelocust on Aug 4, 2009 2:04:34 GMT -5
The Raptards would absolutely hate me and my s/o...We've bandied about the idea of me as the breadwinner and him as a stay-at-home dad--and depending on what kind of job I end up with, it may just become the reality for us. My SO and I do this now (mostly; he has a part time job and pays for a reduced portion of living expenses and also has his own money for just-for-fun spending), and thus far it's working out pretty well. And lo, we are ruining society and all good Christians should shit bricks. Of course having a male housewife might pale next to the fact that I have another SO that I've been dating longer, and he sleeps around.
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