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Post by clockworkgirl21 on Apr 14, 2009 3:53:10 GMT -5
Yes, holding a baby for awhile can be fun, but you can always hand it back to its mother. They scream cry, and you have to change diapers. It's a huge mess. And little kids are even worse. You can't stick them in a crib for a break. And most of all, kids are expensive.
When people say they enjoy being parents, I'm thinking...why?
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Post by canadian mojo on Apr 14, 2009 4:39:00 GMT -5
Because we're biologically hardwired to.
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Post by Napoleon the Clown on Apr 14, 2009 5:12:46 GMT -5
Yes, holding a baby for awhile can be fun, but you can always hand it back to its mother. They scream cry, and you have to change diapers. It's a huge mess. And little kids are even worse. You can't stick them in a crib for a break. And most of all, kids are expensive. When people say they enjoy being parents, I'm thinking... why? Because if they didn't, humanity would have died out long ago. |
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Post by The Lazy One on Apr 14, 2009 5:15:22 GMT -5
So the species doesn't go extinct. If everyone hated being parents, there'd be no more humans.
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doktor
Junior Member
So ronery...
Posts: 90
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Post by doktor on Apr 14, 2009 5:34:37 GMT -5
Having a baby,like the rest of life with all sweetness and difficulties sum up the meaning of life.
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Post by Trillian on Apr 14, 2009 6:10:07 GMT -5
There is NO better feeling than holding your child as she falls asleep, or actually feeling the kind of love that makes your heart physically want to burst from your body. They say you don't know true love until you have a child, and that is so true. People who have children know that feeling, those who don't, don't - it's not explainable.
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Post by erictheblue on Apr 14, 2009 6:30:44 GMT -5
There is NO better feeling than holding your child as she falls asleep, or actually feeling the kind of love that makes your heart physically want to burst from your body. They say you don't know true love until you have a child, and that is so true. People who have children know that feeling, those who don't, don't - it's not explainable. You are under the impression everyone wants a child. Honestly, the idea of having a kid makes me want to vomit. I know if I had a kid, I would end up in jail for child abuse because I expect children to act like rational human beings. (Babies are an exception. I know they don't know they are being twits when they cry.) Regarding the "well, if people don't breed, the human race would die out" comments. That is true, if EVERYONE stopped breeding. That would not be the case if, say, 50% of the world's population never had kids. (Obviously, if 50% of every generation did not have kids, the human race would eventually reach a point of not having a viable breeding population. But given the current world population, that point would be a LONG way off.) I sometimes wonder how much wanting kids is a biological imparitive and how much is "well, this is what we are supposed to do." I'm in a few childfree communities on LiveJournal, and this comes up in discussion occasionally. When those of us who are childfree announce we are never having kids, we get told things like "oh, you'll change your mind" or "it's different when it's your kid." Having a kid is a HUGE decision because of the financial and time commitments, but it seems like those who do not want to take on those commitments - for whatever reason - are seen as "abnormal" and "lesser." OK, /rant. ;D |
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Post by Trillian on Apr 14, 2009 6:40:27 GMT -5
Erictheblue, I made no such assumption. The question was why do people enjoy being parents and I answered that.
Your (or anyones) decision not to have children is purely yours. If I had not had an "oopsie" at 24, I may not have been a mom today.
The love one has for their child is so different from the love they have for their wife/lover/parent/sibling. This is the truth. In my opinion it is better. But you can't know that love if you have not child. That is not a judgement, just a fact (you can't taste the mango, unless you eat it.)
I don't judge you, I think it is comendable that you take the decision so seriously. More people should take the decision to become a parent more seriously. Little people are VERY time consuming, and expensive.
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Post by Trillian on Apr 14, 2009 6:41:47 GMT -5
Just for the record, my daughter is rational WAY beyond her 8 years ;-)
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Post by erictheblue on Apr 14, 2009 7:07:58 GMT -5
Erictheblue, I made no such assumption. The question was why do people enjoy being parents and I answered that. You're right. Without meaning to, you used a phrase that is often used to "bingo" the childfree. ("It's different when it's your kid!") I read the bingo (which wasn't a bingo) and went off on a tangent. I'm sorry. LOL! There are kids like that out there, I know. Sadly, they are often overshadowed by the screaming brats playing on busy highways with their parents cheering them on. |
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Post by Redhunter on Apr 14, 2009 7:19:15 GMT -5
Yes, holding a baby for awhile can be fun, but you can always hand it back to its mother. They scream cry, and you have to change diapers. It's a huge mess. And little kids are even worse. You can't stick them in a crib for a break. And most of all, kids are expensive. When people say they enjoy being parents, I'm thinking... why? Because if they didn't, humanity would have died out long ago.
I for one am excited for the Zombie Holocaust or mass extinction that is looming on the horizon. It's gonna be a helluva tobagan ride! |
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Post by Redhunter on Apr 14, 2009 7:26:26 GMT -5
Having a baby,like the rest of life with all sweetness and difficulties sum up the meaning of life.
Any squirrel or frog can copulate and rear offspring. for them, it is probably the meaning of life, but once a species has evolved to the point where they don't have to fight for survival on a daily basis, I don't see children as the meaning of life.
What meaning comes from mindless propagation, especially on a planet that is reaching it's capacity for it? Overpopulation leads to starvation and depletion of resources. Surely there is a bigger meaning to life than using up everything and leaving nothing behind for nobody. |
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Post by dantesvirgil on Apr 14, 2009 7:40:45 GMT -5
It's not so much the reproduction aspect of parenting that's the "good" part. It's the growing up part. I like having a kid, because I have enjoyed watching him develop a personality, likes and dislikes, develop things like empathy and compassion, his sense of humor--I'm watching an infant turn into a little boy turn into a young man. The beauty of being a parent is being intimately connected to the process of a person growing up. Sort of like being a mentor, but far more connected.
Is my kid whiny? Sometimes. Is he irrational sometimes? Yes. So are 99% of the adults I know, too. I'm not sure why people hold things like that against children, when that is usually the result of poor parenting. Not all parents like being parents--that is obvious from the way they interact with and raise their children. But some people do like being parents.
People who choose to be childless are smart, in my opinion, because they recognize the pressure society puts on people to reproduce without really giving people too much of a support network to actually raise families. But I also find it a little ridiculous that some of those same people who want to be understood in their decision don't seem to express much interest in understanding why other people want to be parents at all. If I turned my back in disgust at every person who cried, whether for a good or a bad reason, the world would be a loveless and lonely place. If I didn't help people who couldn't voluntarily help themselves, whether that's an infant or an old person, a disabled person (temp or permanent), or someone who just needs emotional help, well, there goes the bit of humanity that's left in the world. Infants are no different just because they need a diaper change and cry. It's not like they stay that way forever. Parenting is about way more than that.
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Post by Redhunter on Apr 14, 2009 7:43:35 GMT -5
There is NO better feeling than holding your child as she falls asleep, or actually feeling the kind of love that makes your heart physically want to burst from your body. They say you don't know true love until you have a child, and that is so true. People who have children know that feeling, those who don't, don't - it's not explainable. You are under the impression everyone wants a child. Honestly, the idea of having a kid makes me want to vomit. I know if I had a kid, I would end up in jail for child abuse because I expect children to act like rational human beings. (Babies are an exception. I know they don't know they are being twits when they cry.) Regarding the "well, if people don't breed, the human race would die out" comments. That is true, if EVERYONE stopped breeding. That would not be the case if, say, 50% of the world's population never had kids. (Obviously, if 50% of every generation did not have kids, the human race would eventually reach a point of not having a viable breeding population. But given the current world population, that point would be a LONG way off.) I sometimes wonder how much wanting kids is a biological imparitive and how much is "well, this is what we are supposed to do." I'm in a few childfree communities on LiveJournal, and this comes up in discussion occasionally. When those of us who are childfree announce we are never having kids, we get told things like "oh, you'll change your mind" or "it's different when it's your kid." Having a kid is a HUGE decision because of the financial and time commitments, but it seems like those who do not want to take on those commitments - for whatever reason - are seen as "abnormal" and "lesser." OK, /rant. ;D
Maybe if a lot of folks DIDN'T have kids it wouldn't fuck it up for so many others and there would be a more noble light on childrearing. When any and EVERY redneck fundie is popping them out like a crapping rabbit, it do take a bit 'o the shine off.
"We're having a baby!" (great... i fucked MY wife too, big deal)
Sure, "having one of your own" is different under any circumstances and I'm sure it is perfectly magical and wonderful when one has their ego petted with offspring. I get it, I do, but there is just no reason for it happen most times (there hasn't been the danger of the human race "dying off" for a long fucking time, and it is selfish and stupid to continue at the speed of children we are at). My first car wasn't the best, but it was mine and I loved it very much. I can only imagine that would be amplified by thousands when it comes to children and other pets.
BUT...
If people like myself and Eric have children, because everyone is saying, "Yah man! it's the bestest! you gots to do it, you won't regret it!" and we fucking hate it, then it is us and even worse, the KIDS who will suffer for it. My dad and my stepdad were not meant to be fathers and they took their bad decisions out on me. HOW, praytell, is that good for anyone? He's a miserable old fuck and I'm a miserable slightly-younger-than-him fuck.
Children are NOT the answer for everyone. |
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Post by Redhunter on Apr 14, 2009 8:01:05 GMT -5
But I also find it a little ridiculous that some of those same people who want to be understood in their decision don't seem to express much interest in understanding why other people want to be parents at all. If I turned my back in disgust at every person who cried, whether for a good or a bad reason, the world would be a loveless and lonely place. If I didn't help people who couldn't voluntarily help themselves, whether that's an infant or an old person, a disabled person (temp or permanent), or someone who just needs emotional help, well, there goes the bit of humanity that's left in the world. Infants are no different just because they need a diaper change and cry. It's not like they stay that way forever. Parenting is about way more than that.
Taking care of children, BADLY is far worse than not wanting to have them.
And not that you are saying this, (but it does sound a bit implied so i'm clarifying it), but not understanding that someone wants children is NOT the average stand of someone who doesn't want kids.
I understand that some folks like to bungee-jump, but I don't understand those who feel they have to push that thought on everyone as if they would love it too if they would just try it once!
The rabid stance on children is on the pro side for the most part and the anti side is generally looked upon as the 'weird' ones. |
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