Post by Mlle Antéchrist on Mar 10, 2011 2:22:07 GMT -5
I stumbled across this tonight. It's a few years old, but it's so saturated with straw men that I couldn't resist sharing it. If it's been posted before, I apologize.
"Texas Fred", some random far-right-wing, religious blogger, decided to publish a list of what he thinks liberals believe. Some excerpts from this pile of rubbish:
Education is about “feeling”, not knowing. Logic is the product of white male supremacy in our culture.
Oh, the irony.
You get out of bed, look at your naked body and at your wife’s, and then think: “gender is a social construct that has no basis in science”.
On second thought, you got married in Vermont and your wife’s name is Thomas.
People are born with a sexual orientation, but gender is a social construct and nobody is really born with male or female qualities.
Men stand in front of toilets only to promote male supremacy and should be forced by the government to sit.
No one in the history of existence has ever believed that.
It is wrong to kill terror leaders without a trial, but blowing up buses and airplanes is legitimate resistance.
You wear a Yasser Arafat head scarf, but laugh at those who wear formal ties.
What.
More irony:
Truth matters less than feelings.
And it goes on and on and on. It's like this guy sat around for a week making up absurdities to label as actual liberal opinions.
"Je me presse de rire de tout, de peur d'être obligé d'en pleurer."
I think the thought of ironbite licking Caitshidhe's ears till cows came is far more disturbing than any naked flesh we could post. Sexy thoughts are universally ruined by the introduction of farm animals.
Post by Art Vandelay on Mar 10, 2011 3:00:34 GMT -5
There's enough strawmen here to keep the entire American mid-west bird-free. I'm more a centrist then a liberal, but may as well have some fun with it all the same.
You march to raise awareness about breast cancer, but believe it’s caused by sexism and infant mortality is caused by racism.
Can't say I do any of that.
You fly on private jets, but feel free to tell others to use only one square of toilet paper to save the environment.
Yeah, I wish.
You see racist code-words in all media except in hip-hop singles such as “Kill The White People”.
Actually, I have if anything more contempt for hip-hop then any other commercial genre of music.
Indians created the United States and Europe became great as a result of Islamic influences. On second thought, Europe isn’t great
Actually, Indians had fuck all to do with America. They did build the Taj Mahal though, I guess that counts for something. As for Europe, Arabic influences (not Islamic, there's a difference) did help get the continent out of the dark ages. That said, Islam's as big a bucket of shit as any other religion.
You get out of bed, look at your naked body and at your wife’s, and then think: “gender is a social construct that has no basis in science”.
No, gender is a neurological state. Basically it's the software that's compatible with the hardware.
Western women suffer at the hands of men, but Islamic women are greatly respected.
HAHAHAHAHA no.
Men who are aroused by breasts are abnormal freaks, but homosexuality is biologically normal.
...What? Since when are liberals gay supremacists (and no, I couldn't type that with a straight face)?!
Child molesters can live anywhere and maintain their privacy, but Wal-Mart should be limited to far-away places where children can’t be exposed to it.
What the hell would I have against Wal-Mart? They have pretty much everything at low prices, why the fuck would I have a problem with it.
Or better yet, since when did I give a shit about what children are exposed to?
Affirmative action is the way to solve racial problems in America.
Err... No. Much as I like the sentiment behind it, I think affirmative action is a piece of shit.
It is wrong to kill terror leaders without a trial, but blowing up buses and airplanes is legitimate resistance.
Err... No. Actually, I'm happy to kill terror leaders, trial or no (assuming they really are terror leader), as well as their followers (I.e. people who blow up buses and airplanes).
You are more proud of Obama’s race than of John McCain’s refusal to leave his buddies behind in Vietnamese prison.
Actually I don't give a monkeylicking fuck what Obama's race is.
Your other interests are Ballet, Opera and Gangsta Rap.
I don't particularly care for the first two. As for gangsta rap, let's just say it makes Justin Beiber seem intellectual.
Assaulting the President by throwing shoes at him is free speech, but political cartoons about Muhammad aren’t.
Nah, the shoe thing was just funny (although admittedly wrong). As for Muhammed, draw to your hearts content, and feel free to kill any Muslim nutbag who tries to kill you for it. I certainly won't be crying myself to sleep over it.
Post by Dragon Zachski on Mar 10, 2011 3:11:30 GMT -5
And this is what Republicans honestly believe about us, too.
Liberals are the boogeymen and there's not much we can do to prove otherwise.
If you see me typing in "quotes", that's because I'm remembering what it was like to be a fundie and then typing as if I was one :3 "Please. Understand that I only want to share God's love with you. I mean you no harm, really. You need to stop sinning."
Post by anti-nonsense on Mar 10, 2011 3:13:03 GMT -5
I hate opera, and gangsta rap. Don't see what he could possibly find that's so horrible about Ballet, is it because it's French? Are they still going on about hating France?
Last Edit: Mar 10, 2011 3:13:44 GMT -5 by anti-nonsense
2 Ne. 9: 34 Woe unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell. - A bible verse certain Christians could stand to re-read.
Affirmative action is the way to solve racial problems in America.
Absolutely. If one group starts an endless race with the weights of history on their legs, you have to give them something in return to allow them to compete fairly- on just terms.
It is wrong to kill terror leaders without a trial, but blowing up buses and airplanes is legitimate resistance.
Clearly, the illegal and unconstitutional execution of presumably innocent people is ridiculously and absurdly wrong. If they're guilty, prove it.
As for the second part- who's bus? If it's full of soldiers, go ahead. If it's full of kids, not so much. The problem with some people in the US is that they've taken to defining all opponents of the US army as terrorists. A few people in Guantanamo are there for shooting US troops- which is neither terrorism nor illegal.
Same with the aircraft example. Attacking a civilian airliner like the CIA agent Luis Posada is terrorism, as is supplying him with a house for thirty years and protecting him from jail for his admitted crimes. But blowing up an F-15 isn't terrorism.
Edit: love opera. Hate all forms of rap. Ballet seems a waste of good music to me.
There's a rap song called "Kill the White People?"
I remember a Reggae parody from SNL (I think?), "But first you buy my tape!"
And I know a bunch of nice Jewish boys from Brooklyn included a song called "Kill all the White People" on their CD, Bloody Kisses, but I'm pretty sure the white guys didn't really mean "DE-STROY WHITE BOY!"
MLP Spam derailment....Cool. Creepy passes at underage girls derailment....Cool. Self-promotion derailment....Cool. <snip for flame-bait outside an actual F&B thread.> Stupid meme derailment....Cool.
Post by The Lazy One on Mar 10, 2011 9:54:23 GMT -5
I'm not exactly a liberal, but what the hell.
IQ tests should be used to stop the death penalty, but not to determine admission to AP classes.
If dumbasses want to try to take AP classes, that's fine with me. Then I can laugh at them when they fail miserably. And the AP classes I took were pretty much exactly the same as the regular classes, but with a fancy name, so I don't see why there should be an IQ test.
You think that using less toilet paper will be good for the air.
LOLWUT? I don't give a damn how much toilet roll you use, unless you're my suitemate and never replace it when you use the last of it.
Career welfare recipients are fat because they can’t afford food.
Actually, that's true. Cheap food is generally a lot less healthy than more expensive food. What costs more, a packet of ramen noodles or an apple? (Hint: it's not the ramen noodles)
Your dog is smaller than your cat.
I don't have either, but I'm rather frightened of most large dogs, so I'd probably have a small one if I had a dog.
You bought your son a doll and your daughter a toy truck just to prove that gender is a social construct.
If the kid wants a doll/toy truck, why should it matter? I had a lot of toy trucks. And a lot of stuffed animals. I liked to play car dealership when I was little.
There’s never a reason to hit a woman, unless she’s Ann Coulter or another conservative, in which case, she had it coming for having a mind of her own and disagreeing with you.
I have no problem with hitting women who instigate it. Of course, I'm also a woman, but whatever. And no, I wouldn't hit Ann Coulter unless she hit me first, because I'm not a psychopath that goes around punching people in the face even though I'd really, really like to sometimes.
Governor Sarah Palin is unqualified, but Daughter Caroline Kennedy and Wife Hillary Clinton were great candidates for the U.S. Senate.
Trust me, mushrooms are more qualified to be in politics than Sarah Palin.
None of your friends ever voted for a Republican.
Several of my friends, as well as my father, would like a word with you.
You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.
Why wouldn't they be able to engage in capitalism?
My supervisor at work is a tea-party/Anne Coulter/Glen Beck conservative. I've never expressed my political or religious beliefs to her, but she seems to have just assumed that I'm a conservative like her. I think it's because I don't match up with exaggerated liberal stereotypes like this. I.E. I have a job, I dress professionally, I'm fairly clean cut, etc.